F3 New Orleans

Tag: Russo

  • Because Jose said I have to – from Russo

    In my former life as an auditor, excluding the requisite beauty and brains, one of the attributes we were told we should have was “professional skepticism”: the ability to question what you see or hear and find the truth. With just a little more thought, I bet I could now see where I became such a fan of conspiracy theories, although I’m not sure how I’m not a fan of the X-files.

    In order to do that successfully, there were two separate but related directives that were pounded into our skulls: “Trust but verify” and “If it wasn’t documented, it wasn’t done.”

    Jose lives by the latter. He upholds the standard we all begrudgingly accept, and so yes, he’s correct we should backblast away. I’m 25.5 hours beyond the COT for this beatdown, so that means in his eyes it’s “late”. But we’re on Northshore homeschool soccer parent time, where the idea of time and deadlines and schedules are a novel concept and not really a thing.

    No weather report since that’s too generic, but it was “cold”. Not cold enough to keep Steve and Cowbell from joining, however, and I’m glad that they did.

    Warmup 10x IC
    SSHs
    Seal Jacks
    Self Love
    Torso twists
    Imperial walkers
    Arm circles

    Thang
    Mosey to the bridge, stopping at each block for 14 squats and 14 Merkins (not 15).

    At the bridge, back and forth back and forth, stopping on each side.

    Various traversements (it’s a word) included:
    Mosey 2x
    Side shuffle 2x
    Carioca 2x
    Back Pedal 2x
    Skip 1x

    Various exercises included, all core work,
    10 of one of the following on each side
    – Crunchy frogs and Leg raises 2x
    – American hammers and gas pumps 2x
    – Rosalitas and Hello Dolly’s 2x
    – Penguins and LBCs 2x
    – E2K and LMCs 1x

    COT, with count, NOR, announcements and prayer to close us out.

    Thanks to you for joining, reading, and keeping us all in order, Jose!

    SYITG

  • KISS with Crucial Taunt – from Jose10k

    Late Friday evening, when everyone else was busy pretending their weekend plans were too important to sweat it out, I decided to keep it “simple stupid” and crank out a Murph at the marsh. Because why not combine the serenity of nature with a borderline masochistic workout, right?

    We kicked things off with a quick warm-up around the flag—mostly to loosen up, but also to stall and hope for a miracle excuse to skip leg day. No such luck. Straight to the marsh we moseyed, where we proceeded to grind through 20 sets of 5 pull-ups, 10 push-ups, and 20 squats.

    Now, here’s where the comedy gold begins. You’ve got Bird over there doing jump squats with a full spin like he’s auditioning for Cirque du Soleil, and Zoolander showing off with thumb-only pull-ups and one-legged inverted Bulgarian split squats. The rest of us? Oh, we were doing our own kind of heavy lifting—debating whether Guns N’ Roses could out-mosh New Kids on the Block, swapping embarrassing stories about our ‘90s crushes, and contemplating if VH1’s Behind the Music counts as cardio.

    After wrapping up the Murph and rethinking life choices, we moved on to some Lt. Dan lunge-walking—because who doesn’t love a good Forrest Gump reference in the middle of quad destruction? We finally ran into Grundy, who had been “enthusiastically” searching for us by running laps around the lakefront. (Sure, buddy. We believe you.)

    Stop signs became our new nemeses, where we busted out 20 squats at each one. At the second-to-last stop, we switched it up with two rounds of 20 penguins and 20 LBCs because nothing screams camaraderie like flapping around like aquatic birds. A few brave souls sprinted to the flag to finish strong while the rest of us casually redefined what counts as a “sprint.”

    We wrapped up with C.O.T., where Russo prayed us out, undoubtedly asking for divine intervention to heal our sore muscles and to forgive Bird and Zoolander for showing us all up.

    Thanks for letting me lead, gentlemen. Next time, let’s try something harder—like keeping a straight face when Zoolander breaks out those one-legged shenanigans again.

  • Bit Nipply Out There – from Steve

    Well, new year, same ol’ me. Still taking 24-48 hours to produce a backblast. My new year’s resolution: be more like Jose. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to be too much like Jose – that would be exhausting and I’m not into jailbird cosplay. I’m also not trying to post 40 days in a row or write a BB before the guys have even reversed out of the parking lot. (Not to mention writing a BB for someone else’s Q?? Ha!)

    But…. I could certainly use a bit of his tremendous willpower and motivation.

    As could we all, right Cowbell? Got a late text from our resident runner saying he would be there, but alas, there was a crying baby and it wasn’t meant to be. Though he has ditched the running coach and promises to be posting steadily on Tuesdays, so look out!

    Now I would say we got right into the usual warmorama but this was no usual warmup. How are these men so awake at 0515? And below freezing, no less (or maybe the bitter cold was the reason?). Whatever it was, Jose and Bush created their own little raucous griping party, I don’t know what was being yelled out in that circle because I was so laser-focused on keeping cadence during the madness. Felt like a Beautiful Mind just trying to make it to 15x Seal Jacks. I did break out of it long enough to hear Russo get thrown under the bus at one point. I guess no one makes it out unscathed.

    Then over to the not-quite-as-festive stage for Bush’s favorite – some block work.

    R1: Squat thrusters x15, Merkins x20, ST x15, Squats x30, ST x15, LBCs x40, ST x15. Lap.
    R2: Curls x20, Wide Merkins x20, Curls x20, Lunges x30, Curls x20, Hammers x40, Curls x20, Lap.
    R3: Chest Presses x30, Diamond Merks x20, CP’s x30, Jump Squats x30, CP’s x30, Boxcutters x40, CP’s x30, Lap.
    R4: Coupon Presses x20, Ranger Merkins x20, CP x20, Side Lunges x30, CP x20…

    And out of time before we could hear Bush complain about his coccyx while doing x40 Big Boys.

    COT where Russo prayed us out. Appreciate you men keeping me honest and getting me out there in such frigid conditions!

  • Coming to you live in 25, first Saturday beatdown of the year! – from Jose10k

    OK Waterpik was the only one out there early doing the pre-thing. It was a nice chilly morning. Started off with the usual warm-up size straddle hops torso twist grass grabbers windmills you know you got the usual Bushwacker grumble grumble as always. All right mosey to Noah’s ark this is where my partner in crime Jv took over. It was a simple Dora 100 Americans 200 LBC’s 300 squats while partner one did the exercise partner to ran the block. After that I took over and we decided to mosey to the marsh stopping at every other stop sign to do 23 squats 10 Merkens in honor of Notre Dame winning 23 to 10 against Georgia. Once we got to the basketball courts, we split it up into three teams each team two teams battling on the basketball courts for six minutes while the third team was on the playground equipment doing sets of five pull-ups 10 Merkins 15 squats rinse and repeat over and over again Both teams ended up in a tie which to be honest I didn’t prepare for that so we kind of waste a little bit of time trying to figure out who was gonna be the next team up. My team got destroyed Truecoat and Zoolander, which is too much in the paint for our only one basketball player Grundy to try to compete against him then we mow it all the way back straight around there circled around the flag And then Butt Splice and Manny join us for coffee afterwards, which is always a pleasant surprise and that’s about it nightmare after Christmas or nightmare before Valentine’s Day or nightmare during Mardi Gras season or hell it might be nightmare on Memorial Day, but Grundy’s getting some coming soon so be on the lookout for thatI appreciate y’all coming out. Appreciate Jv help me you and I’d say I’m out. See you in the glom gentlemen.

  • Let’s start this party with a bang – from Jose10k

    A bunch of gentlemen got together this morning to finally put forth an epic beatdown worthy of the first day of 2025. Bushwhacker was first up, it was Round Robin style, and of course Bushwhacker started off giving a wonderful description of his beatdown. The detailed, thought out approach was mesmerizing. His intensity is legendary, however, Ten minutes later, he just simply called out 100-100s and he was done. Next up was Bird. Bird gave us his infamous yoga workout, which was unbelievably increasingly difficult. Stretches, handstands, where he walked around with three people on both of his feet while he was handstanding on one arm. Epic. Akbar kept it simple: 3 rounds of Stone Mountains increasing by 5 up the street, then decreasing by 5 back down. Grundy was up next. That’s when he brought out 2 100 pound sandbags and a spear. We each took turns trying to hit the unlucky man carrying the sandbags with the spear. Luckily, no one could hit the broad side of a barn. But we did hear Grundy yell “ If you think you want to quit, don’t quit! JV was grumble grumble, but more pissed about the pace for next years turkey trot. Next up was Einstein with Star Jacks and the. Norwegian speed skater workout. we hate him for that. Next up was Fledge with hot sauce. We always enjoy the hot sauce, it’s good stuff. BBQ was up with some, uh, Al Gore Thorough Goods, and a cadence that was very, very questionable. And of course, there was Hammer, and Hammer simply said, let’s do burpees, while giving us random 80s and 90s pop culture trivia. Shooter had donkey kicks. Hate donkey kicks. And those damn dice and jump rope. Ken from Humana will beat you down, but get you a great deal on healthcare with his own personal birthday celebrations. Shooter than called out for Steve to go next. Steve with his Bulgarian Split Squats and his cracking burpees. I’m so sick of those, Steve. The next person up on the list, well, it was Moby. Oh, Moby and that damn chain. I’m so sick of that chain. But at 74, soon to be 75, I guess he can do whatever the hell he wants. Zoolander was next up, and he doesn’t have a signature exercise, but god dang, does he not just look dapper. He was wearing those iconic aviator sunglasses and the feathered hair just in a perfect form. It’s epic. Waterpik and his perfect squats. Perfect form, and then a nice, you know, three-mile jog to warm us all up. And then while we’re doing all that, my nephew Speedy comes around the corner after running 15 miles with a four-minute, three-thirty-second pace. And then there was somebody going, huh? And that was Frank from Rommel trying to wrestle Russo down to the ground to try to convince him that Forrest Gump was the greatest movie ever made. All Russo wanted to do was a round of “Never have I ever” , and I’m still not convinced of the rules. While that was going on, Cowbell ran by on mile six of his jog this morning. We all then did our best Christopher Walken impression. All in all, none of this actually happened because Moby and I were the only two stupid idiots to get up on New Year’s Day. But I included all the gentlemen I could possibly think of to summarize the 2024 F3 beatdowns that I’ve grown to love and hate. But just wanted to give shout outs to people that if you made the list, you had of great importance to me. And if you did not mention you, I’ll just honest with you, I’m delirious on about 3 hours of sleep. SYITG

  • Out with old, here comes the new!! – from Shooter

    Taking the final beatdown of 2024, you had to know YHC would incorporate some type of relation to numbers.. And while I did learn there were 2 square roots to 25 thanks to our very own math genius Jose10k. I still stayed with my basic mathematics and picked 24 and 25 as our most utilized numbers of the day..
    The rest of our numbers would come from the dice we took along for the Mosey down to the Lakefront..
    Brief warmup in number of exercises as we only completed four. 24 Imperial walkers and Cherry pickers. 25 SSH IC and selflove.
    Off down Girod Street stopping at each corner down with 24 Mountain climbers and 25 shoulder taps followed by a roll of the dice..
    Multiple Merkins, Putin’s and Burpees..
    The return changed to 24 SMKs and 25 squats.
    Less numbers rolled with opportunities on the six leg lifts, crunchy frogs 🐸 and SSHs.
    With 5 mins remaining we took to the six for Hello Dolly 24IC, 25 Penguins IC, ETKs 24 each side, 25 LBCs to close..

    Appreciate the post gentlemen!

    Most importantly, I thank you for the amazing dedication and discipline both of you men demonstrated throughout 2024. I look forward to sharing many more glooms with you in the New year and years ahead!!

    Just a reminder gentlemen reading this to reach out and check on fellow F3 brothers, a long lost friend or family member. Our words or simply our voice may be just what they need during this time of the year…

    Until the New Year and next gloom 👍🏼👊🏼✌🏼!!!

  • Frost Hard: Yippee Ki-Yay, Cold Weather Gains! Merry Fitmas, you Filthy Animals! – from Jose10k

    Warm-up:ssh, grass grabbers, torso twists, imperial walkers, self love (all to Christmas Time in Hollis Queens). Where the first trivia question, who was John McClain’s limo driver? Russo didn’t know the answer to this question last year, however, this year he was prepared for this question (which was the theme of the beatdown). Argyle was the answer.
    The next question was what was John McClain’s wife’s name: Russo was right yet again. Holly Generro
    The thang: After the warmups, the PAX moseyed to the end of the trailhead. The tragedy at Nakatomi plaza occurred on Christmas Eve, and we gathered today to honor the hero of Nakatomi: John McClain. The event occurred on the 30th floor, so that’s where we started. 30 merkins, 30 squats, 30 big boy sit-ups, 30 leg lifts. In between each exercise ran the length of the trailhead leading up to the stairs, up the stairs and then back down.
    Next question up, and again Russo was ready. How many terrorists took over Nakatomi plaza? 12 Terrorists entered Nakatomi: 12 burpees
    We now stopped on the side of the courthouse.
    ‘‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring,except for the four assholes coming in the rear in standard two-by-two formation.
    Paired up. Partner one : side lunges the entire grass section to the concrete and back, partner 2= holds an al gore thoroughgood. Repeat.
    We took a quick run to the marsh to continue the rest of the workout.
    The terrorists planned to use C4 to blow up Nakatomi Tower. The PAX completed in cadence 30 reps of these 4 “c”ore exercises: little Manny crunches, flutter kicks, Freddy Mercury’s, and penguins

    Come out to the coast, we’ll get together, have a few laughs.
    Famous line from the air ducts: time to do some ac duct crawling, We crawled the baseline to the half court. Mosey back to the playground to do a Hans Gruber pull-up: the pax hung from the raptors for 45 seconds then did 30 Superman’s (he did fall 30 stories) .back to the Grandmas to run the length of the trailhead, salom style, and back up the stairs one more time. And time was up.
    Trivia Question: What type of watch was Holly wearing that Hans hand was caught on? Russo was correct with Rolex. Who was the officer who helped out John McClain, who were the two FBI agents who came in and took over the investigation, these are where I stomped Russo, but luckily, Steve was on top of this.
    And to further celebrate the heroics of John McClain, a yell of Yippee Ki-yay Motherfu**er. The Trivia Question that Russo finally got correct. Thanks for letting me lead gentleman
    COT with Shooter praying us out with special thought for all those traveling. Thank you for letting me lead. I took another 30 minutes for a run/jog/walk around Mandeville. Came back to see Parrott getting for a long run on the trail head.

  • December Flickerball Challenge – from TruCoat

    A robust group assembled Saturday morning for some friendly strife on the Northshore Flickerball Field and a bit of personal challenge. The group began the work-out by competing in an abbreviated IronPAX 2022 Challenge, CARE BEAR SQUARED. Each competitor completed several iterations of a 100-yard course, with sets of 25 air squats, merkins, big boy sit-ups, and burpees interspersed by different forms of the bear crawl. Most hit the intended mark of 250 reps or 2.5 total iterations in the 20 minutes allotted.

    With the warm-up complete, we turned to the main event, Youth versus Beauty (Seniors) in a 25-minute game of flickerball. As expected, the Seniors built momentum early and took the lead as Zoolander whizzed one into the narrow goal. The game remained 1 to nil despite constant attacks by the Seniors, with the Youth’s star defended, Dukes of Hazzard, devoting his body multiple times to the ensure a solid defense! Dukes’ dedication sparked several inspired runs by the Youth, capped off three times by the unstoppable Brexit. With the score flipped in the Youths favor and time winding down, the Seniors launched multiple attacks to no avail. The game ended dramatically with a ball in the Lake drifting towards New Orleans. Bushwacker, aka WaterBoy-Aquaman, bravely entered the ice-cold, gator infested waters to retrieve the ball and commit to a re-match against the Youth one day. Prayer and coffee followed.

  • Someone used to be reliable with those backblasts. – from Russo

    Let me tell you about this morning’s workout from the perspective of Jose10k, who, mind you, wasn’t leading but set a personal goal with paxminer. The only way to achieve the goal is to get credit for the workout.

    First off, Jose10k, being the overachiever he is, strapped on a 25-pound ruck sack and decided to play Man vs. Mandeville before we even started. He ran through the downtown streets, up and down the Trailhead, and even made the stairs his personal Everest—for 40 minutes. This man was on a mission to redefine cardio. My backblast, my own personal compliments.

    Then Russo, the designated leader (but clearly not the main character), took over. He started with a warmup—nothing too fancy, just enough to make us wonder if Jose had extra oxygen tanks in that ruck sack. Afterward, we moseyed to the well-lit arches on the trail, probably so Russo could see the look of regret in our eyes as he introduced 11s: shoulder-tap plank jacks and merkins. Shooter made light work of the situation. Performing each exercise with perfect form and precision. He thoughts of the buck he’s been seeing on his deer cameras. His focus was on bagging this deer, and the pavement felt his wrath.

    Here’s the kicker: to get from one end to the other, we lunge-walked. Yes, lunge-walked, like we were auditioning for a low-budget version of the nutcracker. Then we backpedaled to the start, because apparently walking forward wasn’t hardcore enough. To top it off, we had to slalom the entire Trailhead back. By “slalom,” I mean weaving like we were training for the Winter Olympics, except instead of snow, it was pavement, sweat, and a faint sense of dread.

    Russo’s idea of “rinse and repeat” wasn’t so much about refreshing us as it was about turning our legs into spaghetti. Meanwhile, Jose10k cruised through it all with the casual intensity of a man who already ran a marathon before breakfast. Shooter set the pace, while we chased after him as fast as we could. Plus, as per the norm, Jose had to duck out early to educate the future leaders of tomorrow. As I heard through the grapevine, Shooter crushed the remaining 11s, and God help that Buck try to survive Shooter’s pursuit.

    In summary: Russo led the workout, but Jose10k was the workout.

  • Jose Can You See, By The Dawn’s Early Light – from Steve

    Yeah, I don’t know – I’m not spending 10 minutes racking my little brain for good title today.

    So it was a raucous start to the beatdown this morning, which was surprising considering both Russo and YHC were still half asleep when the gun went off. And that gun? Well, that would be everybody’s favorite jailbird, Jose 10k, fresh off the chain gang and coming in hot with a 5k already under his belt.

    Russo mentioned offhandedly that Shooter had signed up to Q for “like, the whole week,” and man oh man, that was when the fireworks began.

    “The whole week? 2 Q’s equal the ‘whole week’?! Do you Mandevillans know how to count?!?”

    I get it, though – don’t disrespect both math and the man’s 6-day Q streak in the same breath. Too soon, Russo, too soon.

    Well, it was time to get this party started, so naturally Russo took off his long sleeve shirt because yeah, even before the warmorama, 42 degrees is just too hot for him.

    Usual warm up before relocating to the beautifully lit archway on the trace (even Jose will allow that it is a “feature” of Granny’s/Splashpad) for a set of 11’s: T-merkins on one end, merkins on the other. We got maybe a third of the way through before Jose had to make his usual early departure, whereupon Russo and I quickly shut down the 11’s and headed out to the tunnel.

    20x lunges at every intersection. Then a quick incremental ladder of B.O.M.B.S with backwards run up the ramp between sets, and it was time to return, stopping for Bulgarians and calf raises and an abbreviated Mary.

    COT, with prayers for JV’s flight test today (he passed!). Thanks Russo and Jose for the laughs, the conversations, the push – appreciate you both.