F3 New Orleans

Tag: Speedy Gonzales

  • Krazy Ivan IV: Speedy Sings, Fracsac Frowns – from The Hammer

    It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair…for Fracsac apparently. The man who has a folder on his phone dedicated to the Freedom Hammer was crestfallen for a second year running. Bordering on tearful, Fracsac and his Southshore breathern had to witness a spritely Speedy Gonzales hoist the Freedom Hammer in triumph after the Northshore thumped the Southshore for the Crazy Ivan IV, 257 to 153. Precision results, thoroughly vetted and audited by the governing body, are as follows:

    1. Speedy Gonzales 31:22 (6:30 average pace)-recruited years ago by Jose 10k
    2. Amnesia 33:55
    3. In Time 34:07
    3. Cowbell 34:07
    5. The Hammer 34:34
    6. Saban 35:09
    7. Kuch 35:37
    8. Steve 36:45
    9. TankedUp! 37:20
    10. RevSox 37:36
    11. Sogo 37:47
    12. Hog’s Breath 40:25
    13. Thumb War 41:30
    14. Bongo (time between 41:30 and 42:43-you should have found me afterwards Bongo!)
    15. Snooze 42:43
    16. Pelican 42:44
    17. Shooter 43:34
    18. Flea 45:16
    19. BBQ 46.35
    20. Russo 46:55
    21. Jose 10k 47:38
    22. Pai Gow 49:55
    23. Baywatch (it was raining hard, lots was happening, Hog’s Breath was talking to me…sorry Baywatch I didn’t get your time)
    24. Belloq
    25. JV (not that JV, the other one) 55:19
    26. Kenner Brah
    27. McGiver

    And honorable mentions to PickAxe and Chainsaw, The Hammer’s 2.0s, who finished the first lap together in a blistering 13 minutes.

    Thanks for coming out guys. You all get a trophy for participating in this unequivocally, completely stupid and utterly pointless annual competition. YHC was thoroughly impressed with the total disregard for your personal wellbeing and safety and looks forward to a repeat performance same time next year. Over and out.

  • Die Hard is a Christmas movie! – from Jose10k

    Warm-ups: ssh, self love, grass grabbers; windmills, high knees

    The thang: After the warmups, the PAX moseyed to the courthouse. The tragedy at Nakatomi plaza occurred on Christmas Eve, and we gathered today to honor the hero of Nakatomi: John McClain. The event occurred on the the 30th floor, so that’s where we started. 30 merkins, 30 squats, 30 big boy sit-ups, 30 leg lifts. In between each exercise ran the length of the courthouse leading up to the stairs, up the stairs and then back down. Once the pax was finished we ran 1 lap around the entire courthouse. This is when the terrorists almost took out Grundy (asthma attack) and where we picked up some extra help from Miles Davis posting from Mississippi. We now stopped on the side of the courthouse.
    ‘‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring,except for the four assholes coming in the rear in standard two-by-two formation.
    Paired up. Partner one : side lunges the entire grass section to the concrete and back, partner 2= holds an al gore thoroughgood. Repeat.
    The terrorists planned to use C4 to blow up Nakatomi Tower. The PAX completed in cadence 15 reps of these 4 “c”ore exercises: little Manny crunches, flutter kicks, Freddy Mercury’s, and cowbells favorite: crunchy frogs.
    Come out to the coast, we’ll get together, have a few laughs.
    Famous line from the air ducts: time to do some ac duct crawling, while partner 2 does squats. Side not, ac duct crawling no fun when you hit the acorns. Mosey back to the second floor to do a Hans Gruber pull-up: the pax hung from the raptors for 10 count, then did 30 Superman’s (he did fall 30 stories) .back to the stair well to do 5 calve raises each to the top. And time was up. Cot, Russo prayed us out. Thoughts and prayers to Zoolanders friend. And to further celebrate the heroics of John McClain, a yell of Yippie Ki-yay Motherfu**er. Thanks for letting me lead gentleman

  • Inaugural Fire Fighter Challenge – from Bushwacker

    Since April 27 of this year YHC has been, for better or worse, persona non grata around the F3 northshore. I’ve done my best to show my face at least enough so that yous guys don’t forget what I look like. The Wacker of bushes has been on a journey to become a community servant as a Wacker of Fires. And thus, the long awaited, highly anticipated Fire Fighter Challenge has arrived!

    During academy, and from time to time on shift, we don our turnout gear – boots, pants jacket, hood, helmet, and mask – and go “on air” slinging a self-contained breathing apparatus and 4000 PSI air tank onto our backs – up to 80lbs! We then perform a series of strenuous activities which test our strength, stamina and endurance. And so it was with great preparation and only last minute planning that YHC brought to the men of the Lakefront a facsimile thereof as well as could be expected in the gloom. And, perhaps, a tradition was born?

    WARMORAMA

    In increasing reps starting with 12 (excepting for supersticious 13):
    SSH,
    High Knees
    Butt Kicks
    Cherry Pickers
    Windmills
    Fire Hydrants

    THANG

    We mossied to the gazebo for a few quick rounds of Merkin Waves and Squat Waves. This allowed for 2 things: QIC’s opportunity to count PAX for teams, and one of our resident byciclists, Turbo, to catch up to the crew.

    We then mossied to the shaft where, thanks to help from early birds Steve, Shooter, and Waterpik, the field was set! Breaking up into teams of appx. 3 the PAX lined up, each at a station including the Tire Toss, the Ax Chop, the Tire Flip, the Tire Drag, the Tire Pull, and Moby Chain Drag. While P1 was tackling the task, P2 & P3 was doing a specified exercise, including LBCs, Flutter Kicks, Mnt Climbers, High Knees, Leg Lifts and Gas Pumpers.Somewhere along the way, Waterpick split the massive log, and in a temper tantrum over having not been he who split the mighty oak, the lugubrious Shooter shattered the hickory handle of the ax! There was continuous conversation as men of all ages and capabilities gave it their all battling amongst a sea of black rubber with shimmerings of silver links, all covered in the grassy morning dew. After a couple of rounds, proving to edict that many a hands make light a work, the PAX loaded all the coupons back on the trailer from whence it came, and back to the flag we mosied.

    MARY

    With 3 minutes to spare, it was on your 6 for 20 Putins IC, 20 Flutter Kicks IC, and 100 100s OYO.

    COT

    Count and name-o-rama before naming FNG Dangerfield. Turbo prayed us out. (and Cowbell made it just in time for “Amen”)

    Gentlemen, it was a pleasure that I’ve missed, being back in the main event, and I want to thank ll of you for making F3 Northshore what it is, and allowing me the humble honor of leading you bunch of yahoos through a taste of a new chapter of my life.

    SYITG

  • Black Friday Shopping – from Jose10k

    ‘‘Twas the day after Thanksgiving and all through the house, not a creature was ….not entirely true, I was up, moving slow because I consumed way to much thanksgiving day food. But it was Black Friday, and the beat down needed a theme for such an occasion. I couldn’t disappoint the whacker of bushes, so I created a workout that mirrored the Black Friday,
    Warmups: ssh, windmills, grassgrabbers , self love , torso twists
    The thang: you can’t go shopping without coupons, so yhc brought some. He set the up in a line so as my customers were waiting to check out, they each had to perform an exercise . 1. Man makers 2. Altos. 3. Curls. 4. Windshield wipers. 5. Overhead presses. 6. Squat Thrusts. 7. Rows with two 30 pound dumbbells. Each customer exercises while one shopper bear crawls the width of the parking lot, back pedals halfway up the length of the garage, sprints the rest, bear crawls again, back pedals, and sprints. Upon returning to the line, everyone moves up a spot in line. Kept going until everyone went through once, completed 3 extra shoppers. The group helped turn in their coupons, finished off with leg raises until my nephew had to stop twice. He smoked me at the turkey trot, I had to beat him in something. Cot, hammer prayed us out with great words of thanks and appreciation. And we had an FNG… welcome Chaps.
    Thanks for allowing me to lead my brothers. SYITG

  • Alvin Kamara LITE – from Waterpik

    Scrounge around the garage for some coupons and emerge with a punching bag, a kettle bell, and some empty large pool chlorine buckets. There are some Alvin Kamara offseason training videos floating around you tube and this was an exceptionally weak attempt at replicating his workout.

    Here’s what happened.
    Strap a rope to the punching bag and drag it to the shaft on the Lakefront and back. Each Pax completed that at least once.

    YHC filled the chlorine buckets with water. Each pax competed step ups on the seawall and well as carrying the buckets the the street and back.

    Use the kettle bell for 50 reps of American hammer.

    Cot and thanks for letting me lead. Thanks to true coat for praying is out.

  • Northshore 5 year convergence – from Waterpik

    What a great day it was, as today’s experience crystallized the essence of F3 in so many ways. YHC awakened, checked my phone and noticed a text from cowbell, inquiring on the status of the beatdown on behalf of the PAX from Nola who were preparing to cross the causeway. That was at 0455! T-Claps to those guys for even considering making the trip across for the convergence. After all, and unbeknownst to them, the causeway was CLOSED at the time due to the severity of the weather.

    And don’t forget Goose, who decided to make a surprise appearance and left his home in Thibodeaux at 0445, driving through rain storms, lightning, and thunder at a mere 45 mph on the interstate before encountering the closed causeway bridge himself. T-Claps to you, Goose, for your perseverance and your faith that F3 would stick to its credo of “rain or shine”. And that we did! It was really go to see you, Goose!

    And what about Jose and Speedy and Bushwacker, who showed up at 0600, ready for the pre thing on the Lakefront? Thanks for sticking around, guys, until 0730, and for your dedication to our Organization.

    And then, despite the horrific weather over night, 15 PAX showed up the beatdown! T-claps to all of you guys who showed up for the convergence. Without a PAX, we are all sad clowns. And thanks to F3 for giving me more than I have given to it! I am definitely a better man now than I was before. That is, more dedicated, more confident, more responsible, more faithful, more resolute, more grounded, and more and more and more!

    And here’s a prayer for F3 Nation, who has had a change of leadership and has very ambitious goals to keep growing, thriving, and adapting. Those will be no easy tasks, but my prayer is that they (we) will succeed. It’s because of PAX like YOU GUYS that I have confidence that WE can do just that.

    And by the way, there was a workout. It was much of the same. You know the drill, merkins, cinder blocks, Mary, COT, special intentions and Goose to pray us out

  • Marsh Madness 2021 – from Zoolander

    Welcome to Marsh Madness 2021. Twenty-four Pax converged upon the Milestone Marsh for this second-time event1

    In the presence of the Pick Axe-entrusted Freedom Hammer, we started with a quick disclaimer, Warmorama, Bushwacker-style2 instructions, and then the THANG.

    The Pax counted off in 4’s and formed 4 x 6ish-man teams at each corner of the court with a basketball. While 1 member of each team backpedaled with their ball to half court, performed a Bobby Hurley, and drove to goal for a shot of his choosing:

    – Layup (1 point),
    – Free Throw (2 points), or
    – Three point shot (3 points)
    Zero points for missed shots

    the rest of each team completed the following series of exercises in cadence led by a rotating corner Q.
    • Burpees
    • Air Presses
    • Shoulder Tap Merkins
    • Copperhead Jump Squats
    • LBCs
    • Plank Jacks
    • Monkey Humpers
    • Flutter Kicks
    Each man – including FNGs, 2nd timers, and celebrity guests – had multiple chances to lead the cadence.

    Shooters marked their points with sidewalk chalk and fell in line to call the cadence for the next exercise. It took a few rounds before each team found its own rhythm, but after that it was like watching a philharmonic orchestra playing Mary had a little lamb.
    After “40 minutes of hell,” team member points were tallied, and the highest scoring individual from each of the 4 teams were down-bracketed to a 5-shot “Around-the-World” shoot out on their respective side of the court. The rest of the Pax performed Goofballs and Side Straddle Hops to distract the Final Four shooters.
    Grundy, with accountant like focus, out-calculated Speedy;
    Ocho outdanced Whip.

    Grundy and Ocho were then down-bracketed to compete in a best-of-10 shootout from the free throw line. As luck would have it, they tied, and we went to Sudden Death from the Three Point line. Despite Ocho’s shenanigans, Grundy stomped the Stomper and emerged as the 2021 Marsh Madness champion!

    – Trophy
    – Count-orama
    – Name-orama – Welcome FNGs Sonar (EH’d by Turbo Tax) and Gomer Pyle (EH’d by Sparky).
    – Announcements
    o Northshore 5-year convergence led by Waterpik at the Lakefront on April 10.
    o Next F3/FiA mixer is 4/29. Thank you Jose10k, some of us do have to plan ahead for weeknight workouts.
    o ZOORICH CLASSIC at the Lakefront on April 24. (See how I slipped that in there Cowbell?…never too early!)

    QIC prayed us out and group photo followed. Great job by all. We’ll see if Grundy can defend his title in 2022. Thanks for playing along men. See you in the next Gloom.

    Footnotes:
    1Seriously, footnotes in a Backblast? Why not? The first Marsh Madness was in 2019 with a small, dare I say Elite, group of 8. Bird was an FNG and drained 16 x 3-point shots. The B-ball gods did not favor him today though. And well, Corona (as it was called back then) had other plans in ‘20.

    2Bushwacker-style instructions typically include circumlocutory, sesquipedalian musings about man’s ultimate life purpose with some semblance of what the Pax should be doing for the next 40-50 minutes. They are often accompanied by Mumble Chatter and confusion by all within earshot. Bushwacker-style instructions are the exact opposite of Turbo-style instructions, which are direct, concise, and never to be interrupted without penalty.

  • First Ever Northshore F3/FiA Mixer – from Cowbell

    If you ask someone that rhymes with mushtacker when is the best time to post a back blast, he would probably say within 5 minutes of it ending. I, on the other hand, like some time, a week give or take, to reflect on what the workout meant to me and the pax.

    Just kidding, I’ve been busy, and enjoy making mushtacker wait to see in writing form what it is he did himself.

    25 pax met at the Covington trailhead for the first ever joint F3/FiA workout

    COP #1 Warm Up (all IC X20)
    SSH, Seal Jacks, IW, Arm Circles (F/B), Toe Touches, OH Arm Claps, Mtn climbers, Windmills

    The Thang
    Tabata Style (45 sec work, 25 sec rest) 6 stations

    Exercises included:
    Burpees
    Freak Nasties
    Chest press with block
    Bobby Hurley
    Big Boi Sit Ups
    J Lo’s

    Rinse and repeat

    COP #2 6MOM
    20 X Hello Dolly (Hey zoo)
    20 X LBC
    20 X Crunchy Frog

    COT: Count, Name (a lot of FNG’s), Jose Prayed us out

    We met at the Covington Tap Room for post work out beverages.

    All in all I think the first mixer was a success. looking forward to doing another one in the next month or so.

  • Walking on Sunshine

    To commerorate the 15th anniversary of Katrina, as well as the recent tragedy of Hurricane Laura, YHC crafted a beatdown that was not designed to be finished within the allotted time. The indomitable human spirit, however, persevered, and several beasts completed the task.

    We began by saying the Pledge of Allegiance, which will always begin any beatdown Q’d by YHC, and I would encourage all of us to, when Q’ing, take the 30 seconds to unite our hearts as Americans. Regardless of our views, when we can unite as Americans, we can overcome anything.

    Warm-o-rama:

    SSH x 20

    IW x 20

    Windmills x 10

    Way Backs x 10 (Intensified versions of toe touches, with a fully extended reach back upon returning to an upright position — suggested by none other than our newest PAX, my beloved son Pickaxe.

    We then moseyed to Noah’s Ark (a fitting venue for the date). Upon arrival, we paired up, with one partner running approximately halfway down Noah’s Ark while the other did burpees. Each partner took a turn, and once Partner 2 returned, they each completed 50 burpees, starting from the lowest number completed by a partner (i.e. Partner 1 does 15, and Partner 2 does 13, then they each do 37 more to get to 50 apiece. Thus Partner 1 does a little bit more). This initial exercise was designed not to be fair, but to emphasize we give our best even when things are not, and we always pick up our brothers.

    We then broke into a series of high repetition exercises with our partners:

    Cumulative:

    250 Bulgarian Split Squats

    Partner 1: BSS on the seawall

    Partner 2: Run Noah’s Ark

    500 Shoulder Taps

    Partner 1: STs

    Partner 2: Lunge Walk to/from street

    750 LBCs

    Partner 1: LBC

    Partner 2: Crab Walk to street ( I meant Bear Walk, but was told I said Crab Walk –subconciously wanting to intensify), run backwards from street

    1000 SSHs

    Partner 1: SSH

    Partner 2: Run around Noah’s Ark

    A couple of things: ANY exercise, no matter how simple, is HARD after 400 reps. Two, I’m so proud of our young PAX, ranging in age from 9-16 for hanging w/ the old folks. They manifest far greater maturity and composure than I did at that age (or now). One of the great things about F3 is that, when you show up, you are treated as an equal, regardless of age or ability. No one is above, and no one is beneath. We require not equal gifts, but equal sacrifice. Keep up the great work, gentleman, you inspire YHC!

    As stated earlier, a couple of teams finished the beatdown as Rx’d. Amazing.

    We moseyed back to the flag for COT, and welcomed 9 year old Pickaxe to the group. I have on good sourcing that as soon as he got home, he jumped into his parents’ bed and started telling his mother all about the “beatdown”. When Mrs. Hammer asked if he liked it, he responded, “Mom, nobody likes a beatdown, but you push through it.” Pickaxe also wants to make every beatdown every day of the week, even before school, and he is ready for next Saturday. I am so proud of him for coming, and I am humbled by the way each of you inspired him.

    Lastly, as I was running on the lakefront Friday evening, after the rain (intentional nod to the Nelson song), I saw a beautiful rainbow in its full arch. Such ugly weather produced something so profoundly beautiful. I was reminded that is also true in our own lives. In Katrina, we saw the worst of nature, but after, we also saw and experienced some of the best of humanity. People serving other people. We will see that with Laura as well. I am seeing that in my own life, and I hope, when the storms come, you all see it in yours as well. You just have to look.

    Except Jose’s Gallon Sweat Jug. There’s nothing beautiful about that.

  • ROOTS

    Over the past 6 months since since the quarantine, there have been many different routes / variations / themes (speedy’s sprints come to mind) taken for the weekly F3 5K. Today, YHC decided to take the 5k Scramble back to it’s roots, which is around the loop, then all the way to the end of the pier at Sunset Point. Back at the flag, we hit the workout equipment for 10 minutes of circuit training (bear crawls, freak nasties, hanging leg tucks).

    COT and thanks to Akbar for praying us out!

    SYITG

    Pik