F3 New Orleans

Tag: SwampCock

  • The Thrillabon in the Audubon

    Being an F3 Nation member for only 10 months (last race I was nothin but a gleam in a Hawg’s eye), the Gnarly Nutria was the stuff of legend. A back and forth sporting event like the world has not witnessed since Ali vs. Frazier. Two heavyweights going toe to toe for 5.4 miles with the Uptowners dominating Gnarly Nutria I and The World squeaking by with a narrow victory in Gnarly Nutria II.

    This year The World looked to overwhelm the smug Uptowners with numbers, and we have been recruiting. I was even dreaming of running the first race of my life but fell to the wayside with a calf injury on Friday. Although The World would now be missing their best runner, they still persevered and began the race with a distinct advantage in numbers.

    Following an epic lightning storm, the race began at 9:10pm. Our first finishers were a family group, and hat’s off to Sandbar who brought two of his 2.0s who finished the first lap in solid time.

    I knew the Uptowners were going to be in trouble when the first runners to not complete all three laps were Uptowners. Then the top two finishers of all three laps were both from the World and the landslide began. Like an over-the-hill Frazier against Ali, the Uptowners were no match for The World in Gnarly Nutria III.

    The final score was 446 The World and 354 Uptowners. The World is so fast, we turned off the lights in our bedrooms when we got home last night and we were in bed before the room was dark.

    We welcomed 4 FNGs into our numbers in the largest sweaty ball of man I have ever seen. I got to hand it to the runners, the names for our new members were great. We welcome Tubbs, Tramp Stamp, Right Cheek and his brother Left Cheek to F3. May we forget your real names and always refer to you by your F3 names in public.

    Here are your Gnarly Nutria top finishers:

    1. Smooth – The World

    2. Turbo Tax – The World

    3. Pony Boy – Uptowner

    4. El Guapo – The World

    5. Mulligan – Uptowner

    6. End Time – The World

    7. YSR – Uptowner

    8. Swampcock – Uptowner

    9. Cavalier – Uptowner

    10. Mahatma-Ice – The World

    11. Right Cheek – The World

    12. Nip/Tuck – Uptowner

    13. Jadaveon – Uptowner

    14. Cowbell – The World

    15. Hawgcycle – The World

    16. Thighs – The World

    17. Freedo – Uptowner

    18. Cornbread – The World

    19. El Wire – Uptowner

    20. Mariah – Uptowner

    21. Rudy – The World

    22. Rocket – The World

    23. Peppa – Uptowner

    24. Saban – Uptowner

    25. Tubba – The World

    26. Tramp stamp – The World

    27. Bubba – The World

    28. Shorty – The World

    29. Brownbag – Uptowner

    30. Landing Strip – Uptowner

    Left cheek, Bad Moon, Two Yutes, Shooter, Bushwacker, Einstein, 86, Pi, Walleye, King Kong, Triple Shift, Reluctant Yankee, and Roots fell just outside the top 30 in this order. I couldn’t keep up with the names after Roots. Congrats to all who finished and all who completed 1 or 2 laps. Thank you for helping us all be better men as we do stupid, pointless things like run for no reason in the middle of a lightning storm while chased by Jaguars.

    I’m inviting you to our next AO at “the Boxing Match” sculpture in Kenner’s Rivertown. The first Wednesday of September will be the launch of the F3 NOLA “Fight Club.”

    Your Humble Scorekeeper (I don’t plan on doing this next year, so someone else better get hurt right before the race in 2019),

    RevSox

  • Dome Patrol

    The LARC took to the streets of Downtown New Orleans for another installment of the Dome Patrol.  YHC arrived a little late, I took a shortcut to catch-up to the much faster runners that were there on time.

    The Thang

    An approximately 4.5 mile run.  Up the Dome ramp on Poydras, down the dome ramp by Champions Square and Dave Dixon Dr.  Up the Champions Square Garage 2 times.  Then we crossed Dave Dixon Dr. and ran up the Hyatt Parking Garage 3 times.  Back to the Champions Square Garage for a final climb.  We ran back to whence we came via the Dome ramps.  Here is a visual.

    Parking garages wreak a little havoc on GPS.

    -Hawg

     

     

     

  • Remember Little BigHorn

    Just like Armstrong Custer yhs took charge of the Q from 86 without a clue as to what to do. So we made it up as we went with disastrous consequences.

    Headed out for real quick mosey to the bandstand where did 21 SSH followed by 10 Burpees Deconstructed
    (10 Mericans w/ 10 Squats)
    then
    21 LBCs
    10 Mericans w/ 10 Squats

    An event shorte mosey to Oak Alley Lights
    Lunge to each light then 10 Mericans w/ 10 Squats

    Got into 2 lines, should have been 3 for some “Catch Me if You Can Indian Run” to Row Bars, with last guy doing 10 mericans

    Count was 10 Row’s, with pax doing Hello Dolly, Rosalita, and Mericans

    RINSE & REPEAT cause I had to stall and had no plan.
    Count was 10 Row’s, with pax doing Hello Dolly, Rosalita, and Mericans

    Catch me if you can indian run, 2 lines with last guy doing 10 mericans

    back to Oak Alley where we repeated the Lunge to light then 10 Mericans w/ 10 Squats

    We then took the Shelter for RLSUP / LLSUP x 21
    10 Mericans
    RLPUP X21 reverse LLPUP X21
    10 Dips or 10 inverted Mericans

    Into the grass for a double ring of fire 10 -Mericans for a total of 20 Merican

    Call out circle of Mary, LBCs, Box Cutters, Peter Parkers, Russian Twist, Crunchy Frog, Penquin, and maybe some more it was hot! Back to circle where we were greeted by Chacquita recovering from hernia reconstruction!

  • And for the Beatdown, I’ll start with Shoulders and then for my entrée shoulders with a side of shoulders and for dessert…Shoulders!!!!

    Oh yes, now we are in the dog days of summer.  So not only did we have 80 degree temperature greeting us at 5:30 but let’s add 100% humidity as it rained the day before.  Fun times and time for some upper-body work.  As El Wire duly noted towards the end of our beatdown.  Every exercise except one included shoulders.  Yes El Wire they did, they surely did.  Onward to the Thang!

    Mosey to a open space by Magazine St. for Warmup:

    • Arm Circles Forward X15
    • Arm Circles Reverse X15
    • IW X20
    • Windmills X 15

    Mosey to Soccer Field for Bear Crawl Ring of Fire

    • Bearcrawl Counter-Clockwise all till Q yells halt
      • 10 merkins
    • Bearcrawl Clockwise
      • 10 diamond merks

    Let’s increase the difficulty!

    • Boo Boo Bearcrawl Counterclockwise Right Leg Up
      • 10 staggered right
    • Boo Boo Bearcrawl Clockwise Left Leg Up
      • 10 staggered left

    Mosey to street leading to statue for:

    Indian Crab Crawl to Statue – Line up in four lines of four or five PAX.  Last PAX crabwalks to front of column while other PAX does LBC’s and so on.  This exercise took a little bit longer than expected so we stopped about halfway and…

    Moseyed to the statue for:

    Dora 123 – Partner Up

    • 100 burpees
    • 200 derkins
    • 300 squats

    Ran out of time, so called it with most PAX somewhere in their Squat count.

    Moseyed to flag with one minute to spare, so, 10 Nolan Ryans each side OYO!

    Count off, Name-o-rama (one FNG, Betty Crocker as he likes to bake), announcements, intentions and prayer.

    Thank you for letting me lead!

  • Día de la cucaracha muerta

    Light crowd on a steamy Monday but the 12 PAX were up for the challenge.

    After the obligatory loop  around club parking lot, we headed for the water but an intense ladies kegel exercise class was occupying the space. No worries, a quick jump over the bandstand for the first COP:

    SSH x20, MC x20, HB x20, PP x20, Smurf Jacks x 20, PP (the other one) x20

    Line up at the lights for a intertwined bear crawl/lunge walk stopping to knock off 5 crossfit-merkin jump squat burpees at each light.

    After that fun, an Indian run to the crossbar next to the zoo.

    Four groups rotating: Eblow MC, Merkins, Elbow PP and crossfit-merkin burpee pull-ups for the count of seven.

    Back in Indian run formation hoping to spot the movie star du jour at the zoo. No luck so we trudged on to the pavilion.

    RLSU x25, Dips x20, LLSU x25, Derkins x10

    Mosey to lights for another COP lighting round of Mary: Dying Cockroach x10 > quick change > Flutter Kick x10 > DC x10 > Hello Ds x10 x DC x10 > High Dolly x10 > DC x10 > RT X10 >DC x10

    Lastly enough time for another intertwined bear crawl/lunge walk with 5 merkins at each light

    Back to flag for a count-0-rama & prayer.

    Good start to the week…Thanks

     

     

     

     

  • Oh the Terror

    This Q had me shaking in fear like night. I was not intending to Q this morning. I had made plans with Hawg to swap Qs. I would take his birdcage Q in early April, and he would take my Q in early June. I filled in admirably for him in the spring, but this week he informed me that he was running out of town to Arizona to avoid filling in for me. After eight weeks of missing birdcage workouts (family vacation, sickness, and trip to Israel), I did not feel ready to Q in my first F3 at this location since my April, but God gives grace to the weak and I faced my terror of leading a workout while feeling woefully out of shape.

    We started with 15 at the imaginary flag and following the disclaimer, we moseyed over to the WWI flag for a warm-up.

    SSH – 20

    Hillbillies – 20

    Peter Parker – 20

    Windmills – 21

    We ended by cleaning up with 20 Annies

    We did an Indian Run back past our starting spot and over to the monkey bars. We did a 4 part rotation with 10 pull-ups as the count Freddie Mercury, Merkins, and Big Boy Sit-ups with the other three stations. We did two rotations.

    We moseyed over to the open field in front of the zoo for the Suck. We did two rounds. 3 minutes each time to see how many reps of 7 SSH, 7 merks, and 7 squats we could each knock out.

    Following the Suck, we moseyed down Constance St. to the levee. My goal was to do elevens at this point. I think I sapped too much of our time and endurance with the 2nd suck, because we only finished half of the exercise before we needed to mosey back to the flag. The elevens started with 10 burpees on the bottom and 1 jump squat on the top. Most men finished the round with 5 burpees and 6 jump squats.

    We moseyed back to the flag. I hate Mary and tried to arrive right at 6:15, but we arrived about 90 seconds early. We did a round of American Hammers and then a round of Wife Pleasers to get ready for Father’s Day and my watch said we were done.

    We counted to 15, said our names, and called it a day.

    Thanks for putting up with my anxiety over my lack of recent attendance. The workout beat me down, and I hope all of the pax felt the same.

     

  • Did I mention the ISI Challenge….

    So as 23 PAX gathered in the short-lived gloom, YHC reminded everyone that this month’s ISI challenge is 10,000 Merkins in one month.  Quite the task as that equates to an average of 333.33 merkins/day for those who are mathematically challenged.  Merkins were promised and as you will soon see,  Merkins were delivered.  After the standard disclaimer, we were off!

    Mosey around entrance to Golf Club and then to front of bandstand for Warm Up:

    • Hillbillies X 20 IC
    • Windmills X 15 IC
    • Imperial Walkers X20
    • Forward Arm Circles X15
    • Reverse Arm Circles X15

    Then short Mosey to Oak Alley for Red Barchetta (went deep in Exicon for this one).  Apparently it’s supposed to get your heart racing like a “Rush song”.

    • Start at 1st light run to last light for 100 SSH
    • Run back to starting point
    • Run to 2nd to last light for 75 Mountain Climbers
    • Run back to starting point
    • Run to 3rd to last light for 50 LBC’s
    • Run back to starting point
    • Run to 4th to last light for 25 merkins
    • Last is 10 Burpees

    I agree the routine got the heart racing, but even though I’m a fan of Red Barchetta, I think this Rush song seems more appropriate:

    Here’s to all you Working Men! Or is it Working #HIM?  BTW, where’s all the merkins?  That’s only 35 including the burpees…

    Next Mosey to Kickball Field for Merkin Ladder.  There they are!!!

    • Start on one side and do 20 merkins sprint to other side and do 19 back to starting point for 18 and so forth until you hit 1. 210 merkins total if you’re counting.  Now we’re cooking…or at least our chests are burning.

    Quite a bit of mumblechatter during this routine.  I even think I heard some comment about t-rex arms that help some of the PAX do push-ups faster… All I got to say is sometimes it’s good to be short…or short-armed.

    Next mosey to shelter for

    • Incline Merkins X15 IC
    • Right Leg Step Ups X15 IC
    • Decline Merkins X15 IC
    • Left Leg Step Ups X 15 IC
    • Merkins X15 OYO

    Next mosey to right outside shelter for

    Mary

    • Flutter Kicks x 15 IC
    • Penguins X 20 IC
    • Tin Snips X 15 IC
    • Nolan Ryans X5 each side OYO

    Mosey to Flag for Count-Off, Name-o-rama, Intentions and Prayer.  PAX, don’t forget about NOTC 2-miler this Wednesday.  Should be some good F2 and recruiting opportunities.

    So, for those counting, that’s 320 merkins to get your ISI Challenge day started.  Keep ‘em coming and Go Team Gabrielle!

    Thanks for letting me lead.

  • Core Crunch

    My first Q in a while was core-focused.  I rolled in hot and was the last one to join the PAX.  We kicked things off with some warm-ups in place:

    -20 x SSH

    -20 x plank jacks

    -20 x mountain climbers

    Then we moseyed over to fairway near the pull up bars.  The sprinklers were on, but it didn’t seem like they’d hit us where we circled up…but then they did.  Whoops.  We did a J-Lo Ring of Fire, with exercises up to 5 while the rest of the PAX planked.

    We then Indian Ran to the benches at the front of the park.  We did a Dora 1-2-3 with 100 LBCs, 200 Nolan Ryans and 300 LBTs.  Time was running out though, so we modified our last exercised and headed on.

    We ran 1 x running man jog, 2 x running man sprint to a green spot near the row bars next.  We circled up and did some more core exercises:

    -20 x Hello Dollys

    -20 x Rosalitas

    -20 x Dying Cockroach

    -20 x J-Lo

    Then back to the flag to count/name off.  Good to get back in the swing of things, Q-wise.

  • The Dome Patrol

    Nip/Tuck has been leading a band of merry Blue Ridge Runners in a parking garage training run downtown by the dome.  We decided to make it official.  So if you want to attend F3 New Orleans newest AO, meet near the dome at the corner of Poydras and LaSalle.

    This weeks run consisted of the Arena parking garage (3 times) and the Hyatt Parking Garage (3 times).  In all we ran 4.6 miles and my Garmin tells me we climbed 186 ft.  To Tinkle’s point, seems like 6 garages would be a little more elevation, but probably not a lot.  The mileage and elevation gain are approximately equal to leg 9 of the BRR.  In case you were wondering, it’s one of the easy legs.

    We finished up on time and had a COT to make it official.  Come join us.

     

  • sometimes you eat the bear and sometimes the bear eats you

    The PAX gathered at the AO ….

    Standard disclaimer and mosey around the track with a left turn across Magazine St, past the Audubon Zoo sign and into the green parking lot.

    Warm up COP

    5 burpees OYO , SSH x20 IC, Peter Parkers x20 IC, Sealjacks x16 IC (sealjacks are boring), Mountain Climbers x20 IC, 5 burpees OYO.

    Mosey across the parking lot and through the gates to the Southeast Louisiana Flood Control System (aka the levee). Line up on the path for 7’s. Catalina wine mixers at the bottom and 2 leg lunges at top. OYO.

    PAX moseyed to the molehill at the end of the fly soccer fields. Pair up. Partner 1 bear crawls over the mountain, down the other side, does 30 LBCs, then moseyed back around the mountain.  Partner 2 holds a low plank until 1 gets back.  Flapjack twice.

    Mosey to the fly playground, divide into rough groups of five to rotate through pullups, incline merks, decline merks, dips, and plankjacks.  Pullup group had the count of 10.

    Fast mosey to the labyrinth for quick Mary. Russian Twist x10 IC, Hello Dolly x10 IC, LBCs x10 IC.

    Times up.

    Mosey to the flag and one minute over.  Yankee is likely drafting the email of admonishment as YHC types.

    Count off and Name-O-Rama.  With such a large group today we missed an FNG, who stealthily invented his own name.  That would not stand, however, and our friendly canadian  was named “Bieber.”

    Announcements, intentions and close.

    Thanks to all for putting up with YHC’s fumbled organization on the exercises. The Pax ate the Bear, but the Bear ate YHC.