F3 New Orleans

Tag: The Peltch

  • Teamwork Gumbo- Add Burpees to Taste – from Paradox

    One of the many beautiful things about F3 is that beatdowns come in all flavors. Some are slow cooked for that low heat quad burn. Some, pan fried in zoysia and leave you needing 2.5 gallons of Rouses water to lick your wounds. Others, heavy on the spice , with unknown ingredients mixed in ready to ambush you at every dollar store cone. Saturday’s beatdown needed all our pax ingredients to blend together in a synergistic gumbeaux of team building exercises
    It went a little something like this….

    Recipe for Teamwork Gumbeaux
    1 cup extra crispy Yankee Joe , variable beard length for extra masculinity
    1 oven roasted Goose , dark meat or white meat you’ll find the form impeccable
    3.18 micrograms of Spicey Enron powder (kinda like a knock off Tony Chachere’s ) to challenge the palate,- works well on slow 10 counts
    1 complaint free twice baked Perclelator , Chackbay imported only
    1 tightly wrapped Wet Tap , 10 merkins before cooking or the chest meat will be gamey
    1 Kilo of unmarked everchanging vehicles to keep the recipe fresh
    1 sprinkle of Chocolate Montana Thunder to keep the fasting glucose below 300
    1 lb of freshly chopped Piccadilly,  imported from Houma
    A dash of Coyote so we have a benchmark for speed
    A spread of Pope to keep us young and humble
    Blend all together in a roux of burpees and squatsPreheat your Peltier Park Oven to 92 , adjust to max humidity and cook for 1 hour
    Serve hot and Bone app the teeth cus it always goes down smooth

    WarmUp

    The usuals plus a few added reps while we welcomed Kilo and Montana to the fray. (T claps to Montana for his first Peltch experience)
    Got started with a Black snake Indian run with the last PAX dropping for 10 ssh.  JBL dialed up Eye of the Tiger and was thumping to keep the intensity high. PAX came out of the gate strong with speed and tenacity. Set the tone and didn’t let up. This led us to the tennis courts. 

    With a goal of solidifying pax unity before our fundraiser event YHC had some teamwork training in mind today.  First step was to identify the key pillars of an effective team then immediately put them to the test. 

    Thang 1
    Mutual respect for your teammates

    Aretha Franklin taught the boys some RESPECT
    IW on song , Squats on “just a little bit “ , Burpees on “Respect “
    Followed by a Mini ladder – 10 reps of the following exercises with descending burpees From 7
    Ranger merkins
    Elbow plank jacks
    Squats
    Peoples chair arm raises
    Easy merkins (wide)
    Carolina dry
    Terrible merkins (diamond)
    Coyote continued to challenge the land speed record for mammals and Yankee Joe kept the mumble chatter to a simmer which was his lowest possible setting. – T- claps to Goose for watching out for PAX safety on those net jumps. May have to modify those if they tighten the net. 

    Mosey to ThunderDome

    Thang 2

    Communication, Accountability and Trust
    YHC welcomed PAX to the Burpee minefield where we will build communication or suffer the consequences.
    Pax holds plank on the surrounding rectangle with scattered cones in between. 
    send one pax through blindfolded
    if he knocks over a cone , 5 squats
    Decrease time each rotation as communication improves . Goose , Montana, Wet Tap, and Coyote ran the gauntlet safely. Great teamwork and flexibility here as the PAX learned to let the next man down the line control the instructions as they are closer to the action. Penalties were minimal.

    Thang 3
    Mosey To big field For Conflict resolution training Via JBL and Anker. If you’ve been following the bayou pax backblasts you may know about this storm that’s been brewing. The feud between pax bluetooth devices has been long, bloody and flooded many well planned beatdowns with chaos. Every great team must be challenged with internal conflict. But how you respond to the conflict seperates good from great. With this lesson in mind YHC extended an olive branch to Team Anker with a goal in mind…. Pax destruction via a two headed bluetooth hydra spitting fire , thumping tubs, and striking thunder in the hearts of the pax. 

    Split into 2 teams. one to Anker, one to JBL roughly 100 yards apart
    When your team does 3 burpees run to the other song
    High knees on song
    Sprint between devices
    JBL played ACDC ,  burpees on thunderStruck
    Anker played TubThumping
    burpees on “get knocked down”

    All YHC will comment here is that an anonymous tip of Whoop data was submitted later that day with HR spikes to the 190s and unprecedented strain. 

    We put it all together with a mission to advance the kettlebell to the 100 yard cone
    All Pax in single file, pass kettle bell behind you while in al gore
    Last man takes kb and lunges to the front hands off , does 5 squats
    Every time you hand off the kb, do 5 squats. Brutal quad burn.

    Mosey back to the flag for Special Musical Mary
    With our teamwork training complete we felt like a cohesive unit , cueing up Feel so close by Calvin Harris: Alternate freddie mercuries on the chorus with wife pleasers , penguins , LBCs, big boys, flutter kicks. A great burner and the effort here was tremendous. 

    COT and Enron prayed us out 

    1 week until the SV 500!! The Stage is set and Sponsors are filled! . Check out Slack or Facebook for more info. Come see us Friday night for a burger at the Stage as well. 

    Grateful for you men and the strength we have when locking shields together
    . Thanks for the freedom to lead. 

    SYITG

     Paradox

    ◦

  • The Life of St. Vincent de Paul – from Paradox

    Bright morning sun, fresh cut grass and a few buried treasures met 10 PAX Saturday at the Peltch. The hype for the St. Vincent 500 is steadily building so YHC decided to give the PAX a history beatdown and honor the life of this great Saint.

    Standard issue warmup with some added flare. What/who is a Nancy Kerrigan? Still a mystery. During a recent beatdown intervention YHC was confronted by none other than Enron (Et tu, Brute?) about doing backwards arm circles during the time that is not clearly designated for either forward or backward arm circles. Strong opinions were laid on the table. An entire life’s work of beatdown warmups were questioned. Lines were drawn in the sand. In the end YHC acknowledged the error in his ways and gave into the authorities. Henceforth Q designates forward or backward AC. So let it be written.

    Enough Tom Foolery, to the beatdown..

    THANG 1 -The Early Life

    St. Vincent de Paul was born in a peasant village in rural France on 4/24/1581.
    PAX partnered up to get some monkey bar hang time while the partner knocked out 4 burpees, flap jack, followed by 24 LBCs, flap jack ,followed by 81 SSH. Flap jack. Tons of mumblechatter about the health attributes of a dead hang. Yankee Joe assured us his shoulder joints had actual cob webbs and Cardinal hung bravely from the short bar with worldclass form. We were all better for it. Coyote could still be hanging if he wanted to. The joint laxity is strong with 2.0s.

    A short mosey to the ball field where we continued to contemplate the hard work that St. Vincent learned while helping his family tend farm animals and plow fields. Staying in partner groups in wheelbarrow format we worked a small plot of land then had to flip the equipment for partner leg raises. Partners then swapped and one was the plow while the other provided the manpower. This was completed during the length of the classic from Jason Aldean “Amarillo Sky”. Team Goose with an impressive display of teamwork here as the 2.0s took a leg each to help Pops plow his field. Tclaps

    Mosey to the cornhole zone for a musical interlude. St. Vincent’s parents noticed his intelligence, and after many sacrifices were able to send him to study for the priesthood. After excelling in school, he was ordained as a priest at the age of 19. Due to the law at the time, he could not perform duties as a parish priest until 24 so he decided to pursue degrees in canon law and theology. Becoming a theology Rockstar was his goal but this was also a time of great spiritual turmoil for the young priest.

    PAX listened to “Party Rock” and performed Imperial walkers during the intro, seal claps on “claps” and then a cluster of
    Bonnie Blairs during the chorus. Earmuffs were applied as YHC could not find the nonexplicit version.

    Thang 2 -Seven Seas and “The Mission”

    After completing his education St. Vincent was eager to serve as a priest and put his years of learning into practice. God had other plans. He was captured by pirates and eventually sold into slavery. Through a span of 2 years he was traded from ship to ship. Instead of despair, St. Vincent used this time to learn alchemy, navigations, and continue the discernment process to find what God truly had planned for him.

    JBL played “Around the World” by Daft Punk while PAX completed around the world lunges and Moroccan night clubs during the short breaks.

    Next we headed for the seven seas. A preset course of cones directed us into stations of “treasure” on the crest of each wave. PAX started with 4x4x4 (merkins, mountain climbers SSH) as a single pax was fed into the ocean at a time. Crest stations included kettlebell OHP x10, heavy bar OHP x10 and dumbbell flies x10 while trough stations involved 5 merkins. Run between cones.

    St. Vincent eventually converted his own slave master to Christianity and won his release returning to France where he began the Congregation of the Mission and Daughters of Charity. Above all else his mission was to “be Christ among the poor “and to “see Christ among the poor”. He spent the next 30 plus years serving the poor and “left behind” population of France and allocating resources to provide for organizations to continue this work.

    We used these same 7 stations for “St. Vincent Webb’s” which consisted of increasing merkins x1 and air presses x2 until 7 merkins and 14 air presses were achieved. On the way back we did LBC x2 and American Hammers x4 in increasing fashion until 14 lbcs and 28 American hammers were complete.
    A mosey back to flag to complete the last segment of St. Vincent’s life. While afflicted with painful sores on his lower extremities St. Vincent was bound to a chair or bed until his death. He did not let this hamper his mission. He completed thousands of letters to the aristocracy of France and utilized these resources to provide for the poor and needy.

    Special round of Mary where we completed no leg movement core exercises. Penguins, big boy situps, Nolan Ryans, scuba steves and Australian sweat angels.
    COT and Prayer

    **Post Beatdown extra curriculars: encore version of “Party Rock” was completed while picking up cones and YHC accessories. Some say Enrons dance moves changed the course of Thibodaux history. Others were less enthused.

    Thanks for letting me lead fellas. As always I had a ball creating and attempting to execute this one. Excited to serve this community and continue the mission of St. Vincent de Paul through our upcoming fundraiser.

    Sign up your team for the SV500 and lets get those sponsorships locked down.

    SYITG
    Paradox

  • All Aboard the Nostalgia Train – from Paradox

    Louisiana summers always remind YHC of a childhood formed by endless pool days and blockbuster movie nights. (RIP video stores and God bless my parents for raising us in the pre streaming/iPad parenting era). Nothing better than rolling into the blockbuster with 5 bucks and having to make a single VHS selection with your siblings. Eyes still hazy with chlorine you scanned the not age-appropriate aisles and left with questions but always depended on the classics to take you home. Bring that baby to the counter, get reminded to “be kind and rewind” and you were just a trip to Pizza Hut away from a golden night in 1995. All of which suggests a list of what I consider to be the most formative movies during my upbringing, and we shall honor them today.

    A muggy yet comfortable Peltch met 4 PAX eager to get stronger. After a few flex sessions in our new shirts, we were ready to roll.

    Warmup
    The usual suspects and some cardio cleansers to get the furnace rolling. Tighty Whitey with a very respectable 6:03 arrival, Tclaps.
    SSH, GG, IW, WM, AC, Cherry Pickers, Mountain Climbers
    With a mosey to the Thunderdome we were all aboard the Nostalgia Train, transporting us back to the simpler times of our childhood…

    SpaceJam (1996) Fighting Monstars with MJ
    YHC rolled into the thunderdome in a blind panic realizing after a recent billing snafu my apple music account was not operating. Full tunnel vision set in as YHC planned humming the tune of the Space Jam theme song while an awkward 4 minutes passed by. Mumblechatter rose to a crescendo and some even blasphemed that there was trouble in JBL paradise. Goose stepped in and restored order to the beatdown with a Youtube recommendation and neurologic function returned to baseline. Its not lost on YHC that during the great Bluetooth wars of 2022 Team Anker could have used this situation for advantage but chose grace instead. There could be peace talks soon.

    Song -SpaceJam Theme Song via Youtube- Side shuffle suicides with a jump shot on SLAM and JAM. Followed by Ring of Fire Incline Merkins till we got to 96 (Space Jam Released in 1996). Yankee Joe correctly selected 1996 and seemed to have a knack for Year of movie selections for the entire beatdown.
    Mosey to Chimney and a great discussion about the definition of mumblechatter in all its forms.

    Ghostbusters (1984) Conquering our Foes with Science
    Song Ghostbusters by Ray Park: – Burpees on “GhostBusters”, IW on the rest of the song. Goose informed us that this was not Ray Park who became Darth Maul but actually Ray Park that did absolutely nothing else and we pondered how much he got in royalties from that gem.
    Partner up 200 Mountain climbers while partner does Zombie walks to the chimney and back.

    Homeward Bound (1992) Build the Bond, then put it to the test
    Partner up and completed 10 partner leg raises each x10, 3 rounds.
    Partner team went shoulder to shoulder for 10 step in lock step lunges then 10 merkins/10 squats while keeping tempo with your partner to chimney and back.

    Mosey to baseball Field via an Indiana Jones Temple of Doom run. The Last man in the Indian run drops off for 3 bonnie blairs then runs to catch up. After he “flattens” the pax, they all complete 5 merkins then repeat till we made it to the baseball field.

    Jurassic Park (1993) Hold on to your Butts!
    Partner up and one man does monkey humpers while the other does Trex lunges arond the bases. YHC intended these to be more of a skip but poor explanations had the PAX with full form lunges and everyones quads were gone pecan. (YHC was taught this phrase over the weekend and still figuring out how to use it)

    Mosey back to the flag and Yankee proclaimed He would not be endorsing YHCs dinosaur park!

    Just enough time for a little Extra Mary on the feast of her Immaculate Heart
    Dolphin Hops, Nolan Ryans, LBCs, Sweat Angels, Scuba Steve, Big Boys, Bicycles
    Announcement: Tuesdays now at Schriever Park at 6am, St. Vincent 500 registrations and station sponsorships

    Prayer Intentions
    COT and Yankee Joe prayed us out

    Great effort and some top notch mosey discussions today fellas, enjoyed it. Thanks for accommodating my schedule and allowing me to lead.

    SYITG
    PARADOX

  • “A Friggin’ Long Time” – from Goose

    The number 40 is clearly a big deal–it shows up in some of the most important events in Scripture, and it’s a turning point in the lives of most people. So, this day being that turning point for YHC, I decided to take a dive into some of those important events and make at least one of the PAX puke in the process.
    If you translate the number 40 from the original Hebrew, it technically means “a friggin’ long time,” as in, “It rained for a friggin’ long time,” or, “The Israelites were in the desert for a friggin’ long time.” Hence, the theme of the following routines (after a warmup of the usual, including suggestions of a more efficient combination of some of the favorite exercises, such as “Moroccan Self-Love,” the image of which continues to make YHC laugh out loud at inopportune times, like in church the next day):

    Noah’s Ark:
    YHC decided to honor a few of the animals who took that famous ride, and the PAX lined up in the outfield to do 40 steps forward and 40 steps backward of the following:
    bear crawls, crab walks, duck walks, and inchworm merkins.
    Backward duck walks burned, and backward inchworm merkins required more coordination than most of the PAX could muster, but they will definitely be used again in the future.

    Exodus:
    After being freed from Egypt, crossing the Red Sea on dry land, their enemies being completely destroyed, being fed miraculously every morning and evening, led by a pillar of fire by night and cloud by day, the Israelites struggled to have faith that God could lead them to inhabit the land He promised. After sending a group of spies to reconnoiter the land, they came back with a report, that despite the land being amazing, it would be impossible to take because of the large race of people living there. Because of their lack of faith and obstinance, they then had to take a roundabout route that took them 40 years to complete before faithful men finally led them to conquer and inhabit the land.
    Moseyed to the lower field, and after an explanation of the meaning and origins of the word “reconnoiter” and a challenge from Paradox to Enron to read a book every now and then, the PAX partnered up for the following:
    Partner 1–run to the outfield fence (from the outside) and do 20 squat jumps (squatting behind the city walls and leaping up to take a peek at what’s inside).
    Partner 2–chilly jacks until partner returns with news from all the reconnoitering.
    Once both partners have completed the squat jumps, it was an Indian Run to the Thunderdome, which was right behind us, but, of course, we had to take a roundabout route to the street and around the front entrance of the park first.

    Temptation of Jesus in the Desert:
    After eating nothing for 40 days and 40 nights (“a friggin’ long time”), Jesus was very hungry, and after this exercise, the PAX would be very winded. 10 burpees EMOM for 4 minutes = 40 quick burpees. YHC had originally considered more, but was grateful for only 40 after the previous exercises and in the thick humidity. Yankee Joe took this opportunity to “boot” for the first time that day (literal translation = “reconnoiter the inside of a toilet bowl”), which reminded him of his college days, and after which he jumped right back in with renewed vigor.

    40 Days between Easter and Ascension:
    During the time period after the Resurrection and before the Ascension, a few of the apostles went fishing, caught nothing, and after being directed by a mysterious person on shore (Jesus) to throw their nets on the other side of the boat, they hauled in 153 large fish. So, after moseying to the chimney, we used the letters in the word FISH, to complete 40 reps of the following:
    Frogs (Crunchy variety): OYO, 1 is 1
    Imperial Walkers: IC, 2:1
    Squats: OYO
    Hand-release Merkins: OYO (x33 to add up to 153)

    Barnabas:
    June 11 is also the feast day of the Apostle Barnabas. Though not one of the original 12, he was Paul’s main companion for most of his journeys, many of which ended in some rough treatment. So, the PAX partnered up again for three rounds of partner carries, 20 yards out, flapjack, and 20 yards back (40):
    1. Fireman’s Carry (over the shoulders)
    2. Wheelbarrow
    3. Partner Drag (wrap around from behind, heels dragging)
    Paradox claims to have a clear path to heaven now that he’s carried a priest (Cardinal) on his shoulders.

    40 Finisher:
    YHC took it right up to the limit with nine rounds of Tabata, 40 seconds work, 20 seconds rest:
    flutter kicks, squats, merkins, LBC’s, lunges (front to back), shoulder tap merkins, hello dollies, side lunges, and Maktars.
    Time got away from YHC, and we started the run back to the flag at 7:30. The PAX assumed the 40 theme was being taken to the extreme with a 7:40 finish, but despite YHC’s birthday priveleges, breaking protocol (on purpose) is prohibited.

    COT and Cardinal prayed us out.
    YHC was surprised by a gift from the PAX presented by Paradox: a gift-wrapped, monogrammed coupon! I’m not sure whether to mount it over the mantle or to use it exclusively at all following beatdowns, but I was deeply touched and continue to be grateful that these men are willing to stay the path of hard growth with me week after week. The brotherhood is deep and much appreciated, gents!
    P.S. Heck of a job, Yankee Joe! He may have “booted” multiple times, but in returning today after having been out for months, he pushed through and finished strong, and YHC is honored to now be a member of the 40-and-over club with him.

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • We saw the sign – from Percleator

    Warmuparama
    SSH, AV, AC FW/BW, CP, High knees butt kicks, IW, grass grabbers

    First thang: catch me if you can
    One lap around green at the chimney, partner performed 15 Freddie Mercurys while other partner bear crawled, catch up to partner and switch places. Second lap was lunge walk paired with 5 burpees

    Mosey to thunderdome for thang 2:
    YHC has noticed a lack of a certain genre of music for beatdowns. It’s hard to name this category but the closest thing might be “meme songs” or a “torture track”. Its the kind of song that is fun at first (in a slightly ironic sense) but will wear on you with time.
    Song 1: What’s up by Four Non Blondes
    Squats for the duration of the song. YHC called out tempo. Started out with slow 4 count squats (4 counts down 4 counts up) at different points in song YHC called out 2 and 2 count, 3 and 1, then into singles. YHC got excited and called out jump squats before the song hit its climax.
    Song 2: The sign by Ace of Base
    Start with crunchy frogs. When song changes to verse do mountain climbers, chorus do Australian sweat angels, for breakdown section back to crunchy frogs and repeat until end of song.
    YHC is of the belief that an hour of this song on repeat qualifies as cruel and unusual. No man could retain his sanity in that scenario.

    Last thang: BOMBS
    Team up 50 burpees
    75 Overhead claps from people’s chair
    100 Mercans
    150 Big Boys
    200 Squats
    The PAX pushed hard and almost finished but YHC called it and got back to flag a couple minutes late.

    Sadly no time for Mary.
    COT and Kilo sprayed us out

    Thank you for the opportunity to lead, always a pleasure with you guys
    SYITG

  • I Will Survive – from Paradox

    9 PAX met up at the airport of Peltier park to depart on an Alaskan moose hunt. Things started off safe enough with some casual warmup by the ball field: SSH, IW, WM, AC, cherry pickers, grass grabbers, high knees, butt kicks.
    We boarded our small engine plane and headed for the monkey bars. After a short layover to pick up Tighty Whitey (the red truck signals we are exactly 5 minutes into a beatdown) we settled in a for a nap with dreams of moose steaks dancing in our heads. That’s when all hell broke loose…

    THANG 1 STAMINA
    Your pilot had a massive MI and you have crash landed in a ravine in the middle of northern Canada. You find your friend hanging on a limb over the ravine and you must run back to the plane for supplies.
    Round1 : Partner 1 dead hang on monkey bars, Partner 2 sprint to thunder dome, 5 merkins, sprint back Flapjack
    (*Considering these dead hangs step 1/600 on our murph training journey)
    Once out of the ravine you come face to face with a pacific northwest rattlesnake and must wait while your partner runs through the jungle to get a machete.
    Round2: Partner 1 hold plank, Partner 2 10 jump squats traverse monkey bars, 10 jump squats
    Flapjack
    Your adrenaline is now torched so you stop by a stream for a sip of water andddd…..immediate dysentery. Your partner must go in search for the largest and softest leaf he can find. (shout out to Oregon Trail)
    Round 3: Partner 1 hold Al Gore, Partner 2 run to thunder dome for 10 freak nasties run back.
    Flapjack

    THANG 2 SPEED
    After recovering from dysentery you bump into a hive of Killer Bs (Canadian bees are different, its science)
    Canadian Killer B’s equal 5 Burpees, 5 BBSU, 5 Bonnie Blairs (2 is 1)
    During the duration of the song “I will survive” Gloria Gaynor

    All of this Killer bee commotion caught the attention of a grizzly bear and now the chase is on.
    Cones in Triangle formation at the Chimney
    Sprint to chimney, Nur to next cone. Bear Crawl back while Partner does R1 hillbilles, R2 MNC, R3 LBCs
    Several PAX wanted it known for the record that they would just take their chances with the bear instead of sprinting.

    Thang 3 STRENGTH
    You have successfully evaded the bear but your partner twisted his ankle and you need to get to the chopper evac zone.
    10 cones 10 yards apart
    Partner drag to cone. 5 power merkins, swap partner drag

    Care package Drop
    Another few miles and we’ll be home free.
    Indian Run, Last man drops off for 5 BBSU (care package) then catch up to front

    CHOPPER EVAC FINISHER
    While waiting on the chopper you and your partner decided to try out ice fishing and your partner fell in the lake. You have 5 minutes till the chopper arrives but you have to keep his heart rate up….

    Destinys Child- Survivor- SSH with Burpees on the word survivor. Finished very strong with the last 30 seconds of holding plank and merkins on the word survivor.

    Took the rescue chopper back to the Flag for some Mary: dolphin hops, BBSU, LBCS, penguins, Aus sweat angels, scuba steve. ALL IC X15-20

    Announcements: Continued preparations for our fundraiser the St. Vincent 500.
    Mudgear pre order coming soon.

    COT and Wet Tap prayed us out.

    I loved every minute of creating this one fellas. The effort for the JBL sponsored Survivor finisher was phenomenal. Congratulations! You all passed the Paradox survival camp and made it home to your families.

    Thanks for the opportunity to create and lead
    Till the next gloom
    Paradox

  • The Dawn of Darth Kilo – from Kilo

    As YHC was prepping for his VQ the night before, an all-out manhunt was conducted in search of Lifejacket. The search spanned far and wide from the deserts of Tatooine, to the seas of Kimino, and finishing in the dreaded lava rivers of Mustafar. The treacherous search bore no fruit. YHC concluded the search with the solemn realization that Lifejacket had vanished like a cowardly sidekick when it came time for its dual against the legendary duo, Anker and JBL. YHC made his concessions and altered his plans as necessary.

    YHC pulled up at The Peltch to 6 eager, yet cautious, PAX. They had no idea what was required to properly prepare in advance for Star Wars Day, May the Fourth, but YHC had arrived to show them the way with both a red and a blue lightsaber in hand.

    Warmup: X-Wings (SSH), Darth Mauls (WM), General Grievous (AC), IW, Anakin’s Mom (Self-Love)

    Thang 1:
    Imperial March (High Knee Mosey) to the Thunderdome. Right from the start, this proved to be much more difficult than YHC expected. Worried for what was to come, Paradox made a suggestion to Mos Eisley (Normal Mosey) when it came time to depart the Thunderdome. The merciful YHC took note, but would remember the Imperial March for later use.

    Star Wars Trivia: 15 questions, each with their own exercise. A correct answer decreased that exercise by half.
    • 40 X-Wings
    • 30 Mountain Climbers (2 is 1)
    • 20 Merkins
    • 30 Freak Nastys
    • 30 Jar Jars (flutter kicks)
    • 20 Burpees
    • 30 – second mid plank
    • 40 squats
    • 20 BBS
    • 20 leg raises
    • 60 – second wall sit
    • 30 X-Wings
    • 20 Merkins
    • 30 Freak nastys
    • 30 LBCs
    YHC was generally pleased with the level of Star Wars knowledge held by the PAX, but was thoroughly impressed by Cardinal’s ability to summon the knowledge and wisdom of the Jedi Order when threatened with Burpees.

    Thang 2:
    Mos Eisley (Mosey) to the chimney.

    AT-AT Race (Bear Crawl Race): PAX AT-AT raced back and fourth multiple times between lightsaber markings (about 30 yards apart). This yielded much suffering from the Padawan PAX. Two 10-Counts were necessary to deter mass asphyxiation.

    Thang 3:
    Light Side / Dark Side: (Basically like “Never have I Ever” but begins with “Sith Lords have…”). 10 questions. Sith Lords do full exercise, Jedi do half.
    • Sprint to Chimney
    • 40 X-Wings
    • 20 Burpees
    • 20 BBS
    • 20 Jar Jars
    • 20 Burpees
    • 40 Squats
    • 20 Mountain climbers (2 is 1)
    • 20 BBS
    • 30 – Second MI Plank
    YHC was pleasantly surprised to see that the majority of PAX were on very similar moral ground.

    Mos Eisley through Thunderdome and back to the Flag for a solid 5 minutes of MARY.

    COT and Cardinal prayed us out.

    Thank you for bearing with me on my VQ. I hope it was as enjoyable for all of you as it was for me. Darth Kilo has shown his face…and Darth Kilo will return.

    See You in the Gloom,
    Kilo

  • Holy Saturday and a Visit from a Forefather – from Goose

    As the PAX slowly trickled in at the Peltch on the morning of Holy Saturday, we tried to guess whose car was pulling in as soon as we could see the headlights down the road. But one car mystified us, even as it pulled to a stop in the parking lot–was it another one of Tighty Whitey’s FNG’s showing up nervously without him? Or, was it an overly excited little league coach coming to set up his dugout a few hours early? We were way off. White hair was the first thing to become clear in the gloom, and then a Run Cajun Run shirt–could it be? Yes!! It was Reluctant Yankee! I had the distinct pleasure of directing the following proclamation to the PAX, “Gentlemen, this is the founder of F3 NOLA, and today he has deigned to join us bayou PAX for our humble beatdown at The Peltch.” YHC would have preferred to have some trumpeters, a red carpet, and a scroll to read from, but all we had was Coyote, my 10-year-old 2.0, who rattled off as many F3 terms as he could think of (“fartsack” came up multiple times).
    Ultimately, 12 PAX, including an FNG, were present as we commenced a Holy Saturday themed beatdown.

    Warmup: SSH, WM, AC, Cherry Pickers, IW, high knees, butt kicks

    Thang 1:
    Moseyed to the Thunderdome for a Flora 1, 2, 3 and a couple of songs. The theme was uncomfortable waiting–Jesus is lying dead in a dark, stone tomb, and we’re waiting with him.
    Partnered up for the Flora (waiting in uncomfortable positions while your partner completes his reps):
    1. Partners split 100 dips, each does 10 at a time while the other holds dip position (down).
    2. 200 air presses in people’s chair against the columns, 20 at a time while other holds chair position.
    3. 300 flutter kicks, 30 at a time while other holds legs six inches off the ground.

    Song 1: “While I’m Waiting” by John Waller–held plank for the duration (almost 5 min.) and 3 mountain climbers (2:1) every time he said “Waiting” (90 mountain climbers total). YHC’s calves are still sore.
    Song 2: “The Final Countdown” by Europe–side straddle hops for the duration (over 5 min.) and three Bonnie Blairs (1:1) for every “Final Countdown” (over 50 total).

    Thang 2: Empty Tomb
    When the disciples saw/heard the tomb was empty, the waiting/difficulty wasn’t immediately relieved. There were questions, confusion, running, freaking out, etc. So, the PAX lined up at the first of three cones and completed 20 Chinooks (arm circles over the head) to represent the women freaking out and telling the disciples the tomb was empty, and then sprinted to the second cone to represent to apostles running to the tomb, and then army crawled from there to the third cone (crawling into the tomb to check it out).
    Repeated this 5 times (and gained some souvenir brush burns in the process).
    Then, all PAX ran backward to the last cone and back followed by carioca to the last cone and back.
    Then, partnered up and PAX 1 ran backward from the first cone to the third, and PAX 2 sprinted to try to catch him once he reached the second cone (like Peter trying to catch up with John). Flapjack and then rinse and repeat.

    Indian Run around the park gave YHC a chance to chatter with Yankee a bit about F3 leadership, followed by some substantial Mary at the flag. Tried to include 10 Absolutions, a somewhat complicated 8-count plank exercise, which failed miserably, leading to the obvious lesson that absolution (cleansing from sin) can’t be earned. Other exercises were crunchy frogs, wife pleasers, leg raises, and a couple of other things, I think.

    Count off, name off, and named our FNG Neanderthal–welcome!! Announcements included a push to hop in the clown car headed to the Northshore for the Zoorich Classic this Saturday, and Kilo prayed us out. Thanks, gents, for letting me lead, and huge thanks to Reluctant Yankee for the surprise visit!

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • TENET – from Percleator

    YHC recently saw the film Tenet. So many questions. How does time inversion work? Who is Neil really? Is Christopher Nolan the greatest director of our time? (Yes). It’s all still unclear. So YHC had the PAX reenact parts of the movie to try and figure it out. Tenet is a palindrome and a theme in the movie is things going forward and going backward.

    Warmup: SSH, AV, AC, CP, BK, HK, Self-Love, IW

    First thang: T.E.N.E.T – Dora style workout but “mirrored”
    50 T – Merkins w/ Run to the Chimney and Nur back
    100 Empirial Walkers (don’t question the spelling) w/ bear crawl then crawl bear
    300 Never Cross Dollies (hello dollies with back off the ground in up crunch position) w/ lunge walk then walk lunge
    100 Empirial Walkers
    50 T- Merkins

    Second Thang: The McGuffin Game – A McGuffin is an object in a movie that exists just to drive the action. Ex: the brief case in Pulp Fiction
    Coupons placed in the middle of field. One member gets the coupon to the other side via murder bunnies. Opposing team member runs to one end of the field, 15 Maktar Njais, run to other end, 15 Freddie Murcurys, then steals the coupon and murder bunnies in the opposite direction. Getting the coupon to your side earns a point, though after enough running, no one had a real count on the points. 2.0’s ran laps around the field w/ 8 count bb’s, then got to make the PAX perform man-makers. Was it a little confusing? Yes, but so was the movie…

    Last Thang: Tunnel of love, in forward, then reverse. PAX held plank to make a tunnel while members army crawled through one at a time. Once everyone had gone through, reverse army crawl backward through the tunnel. Call back to the tunnel at the end of the movie.

    6+ minutes of Mary: American Hammers, Penguins, Lazy Boys, Australian sweat angels, Nolan Ryans, Flutter Kicks

    Always fun when the PAX doesn’t mind being the guinea pigs. Best bit of mumblechatter at the end:
    YHC: “Well hope y’all liked it.”
    Coyote: “I didn’t.”

    COT and Cardinal prayed us out.
    Thanks for the opportunity to lead.
    SYITG

  • The Louisiana PureChest: Life, Liberty, and the Trivial Pursuit of Alligator Merkins – from Paradox

    The mindset: After a few months of baptism by fire beatdowns at the Stage YHCs first Peltier Park Q was set with great anticipation. Was the confidence there? Was my cadence on point? Enough props? What if it rains? Will Cardinal ask fine print questions? Will Goose undoubtedly question my form? The questions swirled as I pulled up to the peltch on a lovely spring morning. The JBL was charged. The props were set. Now just add PAX and its gumbeaux time.

    The mission: Take the PAX on a geographical, historical and cultural journey through the time and space of Louisiana history while giving multiple muscle systems two options: Fight or Run.
    The Pax: An impressive display of Gentleman with scattered 2.0s to make up 13.
    The warmup: 18 for all IC- (LA joined the US as the 18th state) SSH, IW, WM, Cherry Pickers, Self Love, High Knees, Butt Kicks
    Disclaimer was given for those recently minted PAX and reminders of modifications and safety were given for all. Lets get to it.

    THANG 1
    Mosey to the Thunder dome for a Cajun classic warm up. Louisiana Saturday Night- Tin Soldiers the entire song, Bonnie Blairs (boths sides) on “Louisiana Saturday Night”. We got down the fiddle, we got down the bow but most of all we danced in the kitchen.

    Next YHC explained that the LA Purchase doubled the size of the US. I could not gift the men land but I did promise a certified Louisiana PureChest after todays beatdown merkin variety (I worked on this dad Joke for months and the laughter was minimal, PAX were lazer focused). We assumed ring of Fire formation and completed 100 incline merkins, 75 Decline merkins, and 50 diamon merkins.

    Capped this off with Calling Baton Rouge just to make sure everyone had the juices flowing. High knees during whole song, Burpee on “Baton Rouge”, “Operator”, and “Louisiana”.

    THANG 2
    Mosey to the Football field for the Main event: Paradox Trivia. 4 cones set up 25 yards apart in a square. Each corner would be a trivia question. If correct we complete the associated exercise (see below). If incorrect we complete the exercise plus the punishment by traveling to the middle gumbo pot. When we arrive at the gumbo pot the PAX make a group decision to take 5 burpees or pick from the pot. (soon to learn the pot had some extra bay leaves). Mode of travel between all corners is 10 alligator merkins followed by bear crawls. Disclaimers: YHC used a childrens LA history website and Wikipedia for all sources and discrepancies were dismissed immediately.

    1. Who is LA named after? King Louis 14- Wide Merkins- Correct!
    2. How long is the causeway bridge? 24 miles. No mercy for 23.6 miles so the PAX had the first incorrect. (YHC wanted to test the gumbo pot). 50 SSH were selected and performed.
    3. How many parishes in LA? Local Theologian Goose came in strong with 64 and saved the PAX. 64 shoulder presses in squat position.
    4. Edwin Edwards # of terms and prison years? 4 terms, 8 prison years. Incorrect so we did 8 prisoner squats and alligatored to the pot for a selection. 10 diamond merkins
    5. How much $ for LA purchase? Pope came in with early correct answer (15 million) BUT was questioned by the PAX. Learned a lesson about listening to the quiet confidence in a group. PAX selected 17 million and paid with a trip to the gumbo pot for 15 carolina dry docks.
    6. NO is how far below sea level? 8 feet: 8 Jump squats. Pax guessed 12 and took another gumbo trip. This time fear of the spice was growing, and PAX accepted the 5 burpee offer.
    7. Highest point in LA? Mount Driskell- 535 ft. PAX got this correct and unlocked a special Paradox challenge. JBL whipped up a tune and the pax were instructed to start mountain climbers. If they can guess the song, artist, AND movie the song was played in they would reduce the pain to 1 minute. In a moment of pure astonishment our beloved parish priest came through with “miley Cyrus, The Climb andddd The Hannah Montana Movie” only 10 seconds into the work. Cardinal is truly gifted at reducing the pain for the PAX at all costs, even embarrassment.
    8. Name the distinguishing characteristics of alligator vs crocodile? Answered correctly and we advanced for the last set of alligator merkins.
    9. This LA animal recently transitioned from Endangered to Threatened list: La black bear. This pax again got this one down and earned bear crawls to the next cone.
    10. Official state song of LA: you are my sunshine. Enron shamed 318 by labeling Jefferson Davis as the artist of the song but quickly corrected to Jimmy Davis. (all is forgiven). YHC showed off some rather shakey sunshines (seated position with hands behind head and touching elbow to the ground) and an even shakier cadence. Promise I will shelf that one for a while
    11. Official boat of LA: Correct- Pirogue- 25 Scuba steves
    12. LA state dog: Correct- Catahoula leopard dog: 13 carolina dry docks
    13. La state fruit: Correct – Strawberry- alternate 25 superman and banana boats

    Circled up for the FINISHER***
    The Cajun Classic “Jumbalaya” with burpees on Bayoooo, calf raises on the rest.

    Mosey back to the flag for COT and Cardinal prayed us out.

    Moleskin: This one produced some great mumble chatter as the PAX worked on communication to get a “final answer”. Learning that correct answers can often come with early confidence from some of the younger or less experienced voices.

    An absolute joy to bring this one together and share it with the PAX.
    The opportunity to lead you men is a blessing.

    SYITG