F3 New Orleans

Tag: The Peltch

  • Try Athletes – from Paradox

    Does anyone else have an item on your bucket list that looks wayyyy better on paper and in your head than in reality.
    YHCs has always been the triathlon.
    The conversation goes something like this :

    12 year old YHC brain:
    bruhhhh Conquering multiple elements of human locomotion in a variety of terrains, an ultimate test. You are literally an amphibious machine. Cross that finish line while everyone cheers your name. The ladies will be lined up. This is your life’s greatest work.

    35 year old YHC brain:
    bro , chill, you get the heeby jeebies from swimming in deep water, biking always hurts your back, and your feet cramp after a two mile run. If you keep taking ibuprofen you will get an ulcer. Check yourself before you shipwreck yourself.

    And so on just like that for decades.
    But no more!
    Today we put the triathlon to bed once and for all…as a team!

    Duke put down those electrolyte gummies and roll the footage.

    12 pax beat the gloom on a beautiful summer morning at the Peltch. YHC rolled in a touch early to plant a few seeds and then met up with a growing prethang Saturday crew of Horn, Diddle and Ronnie. With a steady pace we covered topics ranging from Cardinals secret beach workouts to Horns new longboard interest group and melted away a few miles in the process. Please text YJ for all prethang details if you are interested (there’s an application and he needs to know your long term intentions and previous prethang relationship history)

    Several more pax trickled in and we had a rock solid group ready to race.

    Warmup
    Started with a ear splitting cadence of 36 SSH to honor the bday of our resident beast Enron. Full back blast sarcasm aside here, Ronnie is a cornerstone of our pax , always exhibiting a tenacious spirit and has really progressed into a force to be reckoned with physically.
    Enjoy those well earned bday jucifers brother!

    We got back into a steady warmup when YHC heard a verbal altercation brewing.
    At only 2 minutes and 39 seconds into the beatdown Sheriff Deputy of Form Yankee Joseph found his first citation. Does proper form have an age limit? not for this deputy. There is no jurisdiction when someone does a half Side straddle. He is the Law.
    Little did he know the young Coyote is highly skilled in verbal jiuJitsu and in seconds had YJ questioning his entire form police career and presenting badge and gun to Goose.
    The dust settled and a Donnybrook was avoided , Goose threatened to hose us and we moved on.

    Indian run
    Classic Sea Shanty run
    Last man Drop off 5 diamonds merkins
    We ran to tennis court for two songs to set the mood.

    Da Tanggggg

    Part 1 : Swim
    Open Ocean Jam session

    Baby Shark
    YHC set the mood with this dark and foreboding tail.
    Burpee on Shark
    SSH on song
    On about the 3rd burpee we had our first casualty as the baby shark was clearly targeting the elderly blood in the water. Further investigation underway to see if a banana peel from Coyote was the murder weapon. (But seriously rest up Jeaux, the team needs you)

    Under the Sea
    Side shuffle
    Bobby Hurley on Sea
    This one got warm pretty fast and begin to set the stage for further cardio testing.

    Buddy System
    Partner up
    Both complete 20 2 is 1 flutter kicks sprint to tennis ball bucket. Ten merkins at tennis’s ball and sprint back. (About 50 yards away)
    We all ended up with 6 tennis balls per couple but Cuz did some weird Yee Yee math and said 5 so he and partner Frankenbeans took penalty burpees.

    Part 2 : Bike
    Indian Run #2
    We hit the road in search of our bikes.
    As we crossed the ditch Horn kept us entertained with a rendition of I believe I can Fly
    He ate that dirt sandwich with a smile on his face and a song in his heart. You can’t keep a good man down.

    Last man drop off for 5 2 is 1 Freddy mercuries.
    Frankenbeanz succumbed to a leg injury halfway through and YHC deployed Horn on a life raft to check in on the growing IR list.

    Bicycle Song at Tennis court
    Freddy mercuries on bicycle
    Leg raises on other parts
    Superfun(d) began to question the amount of sugar YHC had in his cereal.

    Part 3: Run

    Tennis Ball Suicide relay
    Split into two teams
    Must run full suicide to the bucket , get tennis ball
    Full suicide back to secure tennis ball at home base
    Team with most balls wins

    Back to the flag for a little Mary

    WetTap awarded the GiGi to Coyote for his resistance to the form police. I know Coyote is already busting merkins so he can look jacked in the GiGi next Sat.
    SuperFun(d) sent the Animal back to its originator as Goose continues to pound out 4000 Bonnie Blair’s and big boys per beatdown.

    COT and WetTap prayed us out

    NMM

    YHC is an over-analyzer by nature. If you lay out 20 reps of an exercise in front of me my brain says “ok 5 slowish, 10 regular then just kinda bob around till someone else stops. Full self preservation mode. Yet some of my favorite moments in F3 happen when the beatdown overrides the system. The intensity is cranked, sweat in your eyes, minimal mental processing, just you and your team stuck solidly in the present. One tennis ball at a time till there are no more.

    You can Try for yourself
    Try for individual gains
    Try for self recognition
    And you will feel good temporarily.
    But hidden in the secret sauce of F3 is the Try for others while the “Me” takes a back seat.

    Grateful for the men of F3 as we make each other a little stronger each day.

    SYITG
    Dox

  • The First(and Probably Last) F3 Presidential Fitness Test – from French Horn

    Four Score and 7 years ago, the founders of our nation based the core values of our nation on brotherhood, democracy, equality(eventually we got there), and most importantly; athletics. The first presidential fitness test was started by the legendary Dwight D. Eisenhower, the GOAT of World War Generals. The test was discontinued in 2013 because the new generation of liberal snowflakes couldn’t take the sheer dexterity and tenacity required for such a task. I was the last of a dying breed, the last breed of young men who attempted this test, and the impact it left on me is incermountable. As so, I thought there was nothing better to begin my Qing career than this test of sheer manliness.

    It wouldn’t be a Horn Q if YHC was fashionably late. I shot in at a crisp 6:34 as the PAX were deep into a warmup led by Goose, the man with the golden bloodline. Awaiting me in the parking lot is a highly touted FNG Andrew, someone who I warned beforehand how different this is from the weight room; he was hard headed enough to scoff at me, he will see what is to come soon. As disciples of the great marketing professor Yankee Joseph the 2nd, we know a thing or two about highly thought provoking ideas. I thought the PAX would be excited and enthusiastic about this workout when they knew about the prize I had. The F3 world championship belt. Here we go:

    The Thang:
    A good beat down includes a song, and what better song to start a hot muggy summer than some good ole Pearl Jam.
    Song: Alive with air squats through the song until the chorus when therefore we burpee.

    The Test.
    Merkins
    Big Boys
    Coupons Curls
    Shuttle Run
    Augmented Mile Run
    Montana’s Choice(I gave tana man the choice of workout as he was the reason I’m here with you fine gentlemen, and I will be forever grateful for this unit of a human)
    Pull ups
    Mosey Back

    A nice session of mary concluded with Pope becoming the champion and Coyote as 2.0 champion. As I said before, Goose has thoroughbreds as children. Slots from Katy came in 2nd, a performance for the ages, massive respect for him as he came in and out in 110% effort and was a beast for all 60 minutes. I’m also rocking the Katy F3 sticker on ole Bessie as we speak(it’s fire). 3rd place was Dox, you can always expect Dox to compete and show off his grit and wherewithal. FNG Andrew did a little better than I expected, he was a fish out of water without his pre workout and creatine, but it meant a lot to me that my brother from another mother made the trip to come to my VQ, as well as being given maybe the best name in history, Frankenbeanz(already legendary). Special mention to Wet Tap, as the F3 version of Hulk Hogan(always winning brother) suffered a weird off day, which was escpially weird as the ole taking off the shoes trick didn’t go in his favor. The animal recipient was Paradiddle, the first time I saw him at a beat down and I was extremely impressed, T-Claps to my guy. Gigi recipient was Wet Tap, it really essintiates his biceps. All things considered the beast will continue to conquer. Prayer intentions and then Wet Tap with a strong prayer out.

    I wanted to end this blast off by getting a little personal. Growing up I was a chubby kid. I was always athletic and always wanting to be active, but I was always heavyset no matter what I did. When Covid-19 hit, I was encouraged by my friends to start being active again. And so I started running(Forrest Gump voice). By the time 2021 rolled around I was chilling at 190, down from 265 in May, a massive drop. I was encouraged and happy, until I wasn’t. My dad dropped dead offshore from an aortic dissection. It was the darkest point in my life. I started making bad life choices, not having a clear path or clear sight of where life would take me. Down to 165 pounds, I was literally close to my body shutting down from lack of food. Then I had that moment where I realized I had to change. I started going to the gym and bulking up, continuing to try my best to make my dad proud along the way. The last year has still been difficult, as my mom and I’s relationship has been very shaky at best. I really have no guidance or adult prescense in my life at this point, so I was trying my best to stay afloat, at this point worse than before. One day during that roughy time while working at CC’s, I saw the great drug dealer from Napoleonville BJ Antill sipping his cup of hot coffee in visible pain. I asked him what’s up? He replied,”Cinderblocks man.” I was instantly intrigued. Then the sultan of stocks Adrien Maught realized our mutual connection to BJ. It was then they both began recruiting me, and I can say, F3 has been a blessing. It has gotten me involved with a group of amazing guys and i’m in a setting where I can be myself and do things that I love. I love and appreciate all of you gentlemen, and I hope to continue to grow and improve myself as time goes on within F3. Thank you gentlemen for everything.

    French Horn

  • The First(and Probably Last) F3 Presidential Fitness Challenge – from French Horn

    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-8zgfUK4szaMrEe3Cm7g8Stc-9dystwj6decwRhL8lY/edit

  • Move Your Feet, Work Your Meat (And Wet Concrete) – from Goose

    YHC went into this morning with much hope of being a part of a large group of F3 HIMs pushing hard together through a well curated beatdown before entering the 5K race of the year to represent in an undeniable way the benefits of F3 to the wider Thibodaux community. All would see the black-shirted clan exuding brotherhood, confidence, and joyful tenacity as we swept through the crowd singing sea shanties and laughing at one another’s clever jokes. Instead, YHC and Pope pulled into The Peltch late and stressed only to see a large, Gigi’d man and his smaller companion running toward me up the road, away from the park. Confused, YHC rolled down the window and asked Tana and Paradox where the heck they were going at 6:31am. They shared that they were the only ones there, and they figured a short mosey would get them warmed up nicely before YHC, the Q, got there. Although this was a little disheartening, the fact that Tana was wearing a headband the exact color of the Gigi lifted YHC’s spirits considerably, not to mention the promise of solid quality time with both the big man and Paradox. And, knowing that Yankee Joe (dealing with family stuff) and Wet Tap (facilitating birth) would be joining us for the run gave YHC some hope that it would be an enjoyable day even if we didn’t overwhelm the city of Thibodaux with the glory of F3.

    After a warmup of the usual suspects, we grabbed coupons and moseyed over to the Thunderdome for some Dora to score some points, log some miles, and get the legs warmed up. While one partner chipped away at 200 curls and 200 Big Boys, partner two ran around the building. This took some time, and it may have established the Broga/Yoda mat as the ideal situp platform. Tana confirmed both its springiness and its ease on the posterior, and YHC wouldn’t be surprised if more were found dragging one around for the month of May like Linus with his blue blankie.

    Next, YHC introduced these fellas to the Turbo Tax Tennis Ball Thang. Enron, YJ, and Dilly enjoyed the strain it provided last week as well as the competition, so YHC figured we’d give it another go. This time, the same partners moved from the Thunderdome to the gate by the track and back–the man with the ball can’t move, but has to throw it to his partner who can. If it was dropped, both partners had to complete 5 genuflections. Pope and Paradox came out swinging with long throws and acrobatic catches, which of course led to many drops and many genuflections. YHC and Tana went for shorter lobs and an easy rhythm, and with not a single drop, outpaced the younger team by many units of measurement. After waiting for the losing team to finally arrive after their 85th genuflection, it was time to mosey back to the flag for some pre-race stretching.

    It was here that we learned that Tana had never stretched a day in his life and couldn’t actually bend his knee more than one or two degrees on account of his quads being as tight as cold rubber. We had also learned earlier that on the previous day, Tana had run something like 8 miles around his neighborhood and played 16 straight hours of pickleball into the wee hours of the morning. We were in awe at his willingness to run a 5K after all that (though later events would prove that our awe was unfounded).

    Wet Tap arrived with Redfish with about 2 minutes left of stretching, and we followed one another to the fairgrounds. After parking, the owner of the home in front of which we had parked came out and asked how long we’d be there. He wanted to mow his yard before it rained. We promised to be out of there before 9:30, and this seemed to assuage him. On the way in, Paradox must have said about 17 times that it was his first time running an official race, and Redfish shared that he’s been in about 17 of them, starting at the age of 2.

    At the registration tent every third person had their phone out showing everyone around them the radar, which looked like a death blob flying toward us. In typical fashion, the mob just waited for someone else to tell us it wasn’t a good idea to run through a lightning storm, and since they didn’t, we lined up. We were in the middle of calculating our chances of survival when YJ sauntered up in full firefighter gear: tank, coat, hat, boots and everything. It was a sight to behold. It seemed he and his boys were gonna run this thing in 70 lbs. of firefighting gear. (That ought to rack up some points!). Not sure if he chose that himself, but what a dude.

    It was also during this time that Tana made his actual intentions clear. He let us know at the registration tent that he had to run back to his car for his credit card (though Paradox paid with cash no problem…). And, while we were lining up and looking for his head poking up over the crowd, Paradox got a text that said something like, “I got to the car, I looked at the radar, I got scared, and I peeled out. It’s every man for himself. I think the world is coming to an end. And my legs are tired.” So, it would be four of us.

    Soon, it was time to start (a bit chaotically), and we took off into the darkening horizon. After about a half a block, a lightning bolt slammed into the ground about a mile away as if to set the tone for what would be a memorable experience. Not long after that, the little bitty stinging rain started coming in sideways, and it only increased in size and quantity as the race went on. The lightning and thunder were constant, like a soundtrack for four manly men moving at a moderate pace through sheets of rain along busy highways. At one point, we were actually singing sea shanties (it seemed fitting in the driving rain), and we were enjoying one another’s company so much that the finish line snuck up on us. We pushed hard for the last hundred yards or so, but YHC felt sad that it was over. There was no possibility of winning the race, so we were able to enjoy the unique experience of running around Thibodaux in a storm with good brothers for a good cause. It was a memory maker, for sure, and I found myself wishing we had three more miles.

    We were done and headed to the cars by about 8:30, but no matter how early we were, old boy wasn’t gonna be cutting his grass today. YHC was grateful for the camaraderie, the seat covers, and even the rain this morning. The rest of you fartsackers missed out!

    SYITG,
    Goose

    FYI: The Q-sheet has reached the place where it’s basically gonna be YHC and Yankee Joe from here on out unless you start putting your name in there. It doesn’t matter if it’s close or far away, get on the schedule! Q-ing is your “down-painment” for the gift of F3 in your life!

  • Crack a Cold One and Tip it on Back to ‘Merica – from Lil Cuz

    That’s right Merica, U S and A
    We invented mud tires, aluminum cans, and freedom
    I’m from Merica, how ’bout you?
    Got that right
    In 1776, Uncle Sam and this bald eagle found Lady Liberty and her rocky mountains
    They knocked boots and yelled Yee Yee
    And boom, there it was, just like that
    Merica was born

    I’m Earl Dibbles Jr and I approve this message
    Yee yee!

    Today we honored an American Legend, Earl Dibbles Jr., he’s a country boy. He wakes up, straps on his overalls and puts a good dip in. His heroes include Chuck Norris and Uncle Sam, and his hobbies include breakin’ out the cooler with a 12 pack and breakin’ line fishin’ on a creekside. YEE YEE!

    Old Fashioned Warm up with all the usuals and a little added request from the previous night’s group chat of Hillbilly Imperial Walkers. Your Welcome Yank! I hope I didn’t mess you up too much with my sporadic cadence counts.

    Thang 1: ‘Merica by Earl Dibbles Jr
    Hold Plank for duration with a slow burn Merkin for every ‘Merica. We would also do a Merkin for every “Yee Yee!” heard today.

    This was a slow burn to prepare the Pax for what was in store near the end of today’s beatdown. Everyone faired well with comedic stylings of Mr. Earl Dibbles Jr. himself paying respect to the #1 country in the whole universe. U, S of A baby! Back to Back Undefeated World War Champs!

    Thang 2: Mini IPC – Single Shot
    25 Curls for the Gurls,
    Farmer Carry Coupon across field
    25 Goblet Squats
    Farmer Carry Coupon back to Starting Point
    25 Overhead Press
    Farmer Carry Coupon across field
    25 Coupon LBC’s
    Farmer Carry back to starting point.

    This warmed the muscles of all Pax as they started to notice some signs behind us creating a little mumble chatter as to what they may be starting to recognize form last year.

    Thang 3: Workaholic by Earl Dibbles Jr.
    Hold squat at different levels (High, Mid and Low) changing level for every workin’, workaholic, and breakin’.

    After this song, YHC gave a little background on Mr. Earl Dibbles Jr, AKA Granger Smith. Granger and his wife lost their youngest son a few years back and Granger has spoken about the struggles he has dealt with this and being finally able to accept the loss of his youngest child. I cannot imagine what Granger was going through in this time and I prayed for him and prayed that I never experience this great loss. This also got me thinking about the hardest thing I have had to do in F3 since joining and of course IPC comes quickly to mind. I jumped into the middle of IPC at only my second beatdown and struggled very heavily through the entire thing. I accomplished it and still to this day I am not sure how. I’ve grown a lot since then, and so too has Granger Smith it seems. Recently, he has decided to end his music career to focus on ministry and aid other people struggling through losing a child. I cannot commend this man enough for wanting to share what God has done for him and his own healing and how he has been able to turn such a loss into a way to do God’s work here on Earth.

    Thang 4: IPC 2022 Week 4 Re-do
    Center Station of 5 Man-Makers to start and moving to each station to complete the exercise posted there and coming back to center for 5 man-makers between each station.
    1st Station: 15 Coupon Swings
    2nd Station: 10 We’re Not Worthies
    3rd Station: 20 Overhead Tricep Extensions
    4th Station: 15 Goblet Squats

    This was continued for the duration of the beatdown and lasted around 30 minutes.
    I am solidly impressed by the work the Pax put in today through this IPC re-do. All Pax took the challenge in stride, never blinked and got to work. Pouring sweat and pushing through the pain moving to the next station. I am looking forward to IPC this year and the work this group can put in to show the rest of F3 what the Thibodaux Pax are made of.

    6 Minutes of Mary, Potluck Style

    Moments to Note:
    Never Give Goose a chance to potluck Mary because Dr.W’s are coming, I promise.

    French Horn got to practice his cadence before his VQ and honestly he is already leaps and bounds better than Tana. Great Job!

    ANIMAL shirt bestowed to the Animal himself, Smooth Operator! What a beast this guy is! Always ready to work harder than anyone else around! Congrats brother!

    COT and Yankee Jeaux prayed us out. Looking forward to seeing the slo-mo video Yank! If you know, you know.

    SYITG,
    Lil’ Cuz
    YEE YEE!

  • Oops, I Hit it Again…History of Baseball, Vol. 1.4 – from Yankee Joe

    Disclaimer:

    The following is a modified replay of a beatdown and blast from October 22. Thangs have been changed to protect the innocent. Butttt…since nobody is innocent, Duke can go ‘head and roll that bean footage like he’s Randall Floyd en route to buy Aerosmith tickets.

    In reality, YHC’s 2.3 got in and out of his crib 7,348 times, so yeah…modified re-run. Deal with it.
    —————————-

    Key Takeaways from The Morning:

    – This was a baseball themed beatdown and based on the throwing warm-up, we have a lot of work to do before we start riding up on our BMX’s and accuse folks of bobbing for apples in the toilet. Coyote and Pope were the only exceptions here. Our B-Rods as it were.

    – I think Dilly pointed out that Cardinal’s otherworldly crab walk talent apparently transfers to nurring. Seriously…the guy literally moon sprinted around the bases like his hair was on fire. Sha mon, hee heee!

    – While we’re on Cardinal, he was rocking the ANIMAL tank today. When I say rocking, I mean dang. This dude is ripped. I challenge you to find another man in the cloth with this brand of guns. Seriously…Contarini, Law, Richelieu…these Cardinals were fartsacking Crossfit workouts two weeks in.

    – Backward lunge walks are unnervingly difficult. Unless of course, you do them Picadilly style, then it’s more of a klaw. Yeahh…you get it.

    – A combined 800 reps of ab exercises was something. That said, Wet Tap’s grin seemed to grow with each rep, no doubt due to the turquoise euro trash tank showcasing his 12-pack mural of abdominals.

    – Speaking of tank tops, only Paradiddle could pull off wearing a Kenner dress shirt and Fidel Castro’s field cap…and still look cool. ¡Viva la Revolución!

    – Apparently, the best way to shut down Enron chatter is to talk about baseball. I assume this is because he’d rather play with his own stick, cradling it, swinging it, all to keep the ball in the head and then whack at other men’s sticks to get at their balls. (Lacrosse, people. Enron played lacrosse…sheesh.)

    – Ragnar Montana switched from man bun to a pony tail. It’s pretty impressive. Looks like an eternal flame over his head like the Presence at Pentecost.

    – Goose.
    ————————————-

    Warmarama

    Mosey to baseball field for pre game warmarama
    Side straddle hops
    Windmills
    Arm circles forward
    Arm circles backward
    Cherry pickers
    High knees 15 yards, back
    Butt kick 15 yards, back
    Carioca 15 yards, back
    Extended nur 15 yards, back
    Warmup throw & catch with partner (In cadence)
    — Wild throw = 1 burpee
    — Dropped ball = 2 burpees

    ——————————————

    Chapter 1: 1830 – 1845

    How many perfect games have been thrown? 23

    There are many references that seem to allude to a crude predecessor of baseball as far back as the late 1700’s. In 1845, Alexander Cartwright, considered the true father of modern baseball and a member of the original New York Knickerbockers, wrote baseball’s first code of rules. These rules made up the core foundation of the sport we know today. Of note, you could no longer throw the object or ball at the opposing player to “put them out.” A shame, really.

    To celebrate Mr. Cartwright’s contribution in 1845:

    Pre-Thang 1: 1845’s
    – Bear crawl to first, 18 burpees;
    – Bear crawl to second 45 leg lifts;
    – Bear crawl to third, 18 Bonnie Blair’s (the hard way);
    – Bear crawl to home, 45 lbc’s

    ——————————————

    Batter Theme Song #1: Centerfield

    – Hillbilly squat walkers during verses
    – Bobby Hurley’s on refrain

    —————————————–

    Chapter 2: 1845 – 1903

    What is the distance between home plate and the pitcher’s mound? 60 feet, 6 in.

    In 1876, the National League was created. By 1901, the rules as we know it were instituted. In that same year, the American League was formed. In 1903, the first world series was played between the Boston Americans and the Pittsburgh Pirates. The Red Sox won. They won 91 games that season.

    In honor of that achievement:

    Thang 2: 91’s

    Lunge walk to first, 91 SSHs
    Lunge walk to second, 91 freddie mercuries 1:1
    Lunge walk to third, 91 LBC’s
    Lunge walk to home, 91 flutter kicks (2:1)

    —————————————–

    Batter Theme Song #2: Glory Days

    – Leg lifts during verses
    – LBC’s on refrains – try of 25 each refrain

    ——————————————

    Chapter 3: 1905 – 1945

    Who was the first team Babe Ruth played for? Red Sox

    By 1905, as baseball was being recognized as the national pastime, a commission was formed to investigate the true origin of the game. Was it based on the English game of “rounders” or the American game of “Old Cat?” It is during this investigation that Abner Doubleday mistakenly found his way into baseball founding history lore. His involvement has been firmly debunked over the past decades. Omaha missed the memo.

    Thang 3:

    Sprint relay race around bases; two teams; sprint in oppo direction (one pax toward first base and the other toward third.

    – Round 1: Normal Sprint – non runners are doing SSHs, winning team does 15 groiners; losing team does 15 burpees

    – Round 2: Nur – winning team does 25 leg raises; losing team does 100 LBC’s

    – Round 3: Backward lunge walk/frog hops – winning team does 15 bobby hurleys; losing team does 25 prisoner squats

    ———————————————–

    COT, Cardinal bestowed the ANIMAL tank upon Pope…very well deserved. Tap passed the Euro Trash (I recommend calling her Gigi moving forward) to YHC. Fortunately, turquoise works perfectly with my complexion and sporadic back hair.

    Paradiddle prayed us out.

    Even though this morning was not a true original, I had a blast. YHC’s themes are a bit of stretch, and I appreciate the PAX playing along. You never know how it’s going to turn out, so you just jump in. As Yogi Bera once said, “The future ain’t what it used to be.” Respect and Gratitude for each of you.

    SYITG,

    Boston Joe out.

  • History Lesson, by Coyote – from Goose

    If you think about a specific day, you might think, “It’s this person’s birthday,” or, “Dang it it’s tax day.” If you go on google and look up a day like that, you will then think, “This is the day that everything happened.” That was what YHC thought when YHC looked up April 15th. The Pax and YHC started the warmups, we did the normal exercises, Side straddle hops, Imperial walkers, Windmills, that kind of stuff, then we moseyed to the Titanic (The playground, also today is the day the Titanic sunk) and sailed away while jamming out to “Come Sail Away” while doing Imperial walkers and when we heard “sail away” we instinctively shot the basketball like Bobby Hurly, then we hit the iceberg and we started climbing the ladders like Goofballs, and when we were done doing that, we raced and wrestled to get to the highest part of the ship, then the lifeboats. Sadly, Superfun(d) fell and had to start swimming like Scuba Steve. We did it again and we lost our Paradox. Today is also when the great Notre Dame cathedral caught on fire, so we ran from the sinking Titanic to the Thunderdome where we where surrounded by a ring of fire while doing flying buttresses (merkin and airplane) and laying down making the steeple fall down with six inch holds and leg raises. We ran from the burning cathedral to join the Boston Marathon, (today was the bombing of the Boston Marathon). We saw the bombs, they exploded, so we got in pairs and broke out in BOMBS. One runner ran a hundred meters and back, then the two partners switched places. It went on like this for fifty burpees, one hundred overhead presses, one hundred monkey humpers, one hundred big boy sit-ups, and one hundred side straddle hops. Smooth Operater had his two 2.0s. By the time everybody was done, he was dragging the wagon and doing monkey humpers, so we helped out on the sit-ups, straddle hops, and running. While we were hammering out those, Redfish was lying on the ground resting. With all the help, we finished pretty quickly. I then mentioned that today, ninety-four people died in a soccer stampede, so we ran around the track twice, and at each goal post, we would get trampled and do ten hand-release merkins, trying to get back up but getting knocked back to the ground. We moseyed back to the flag and did some eight minute Mary. YCH let the entire circle choose an exercise to do. After that, it was count off and name off, we congratulated Tractor for his fourth birthday, Cardinal forgot the Animal shirt, and the tank top was given to WetTap, and YHC did the cooldowns alone today. This has been history lessons with Coyote.

  • Down Here, it’s Our Time: A Story of Revolution, Nerds, and Kumquats – from Yankee Joe

    Over the course of history, man has always been restless, chafing under any force that threatens his most sacred right: Freedom.

    We’ve seen the proletariat rise up against Louis XIV in France, the Bolsheviks tear down the republic to establish communist Russia, and American colonists rail against the tyranny of taxation without representation. Most recently, there’s trouble down on the bayou that includes Bluetooth factions and wayward Geese flying north for the winter.

    Though history points to a series of causes that lead up to these revolutionary movements, there are usually a couple key moments that trigger the tipping point.

    Perhaps, after years of schisms, history will cite the spark that ignited the Great Rebellion of F3 Thibodaux. Maybe it was leadership deviating from the vision. Maybe it was leadership sowing seeds of division between competing AO’s. Or maybe it was the moment leadership demanded full grown men (seeking fraternity and exercise) to wear women’s clothing.

    Of course, it could be just a function of a college professor desperately trying to maintain some shred of professional decorum in front of PAX that also happen to be his students. Though that professionalism bar is admittedly low, somehow rocking a women’s aqua athletic tank top – with a single euro trash strip in the back – seems…I dunno…a little like credibility suicide.

    Indeed, Live Oak historians will say that I am a liar, but history is written by those who have hanged heroes. Who can say where the road goes? Where the day flows? Only time.

    In our modern era, we see this gross abuse of power best personified in Hollywood. Namely, the varsity letter jacket wearing jock of the 80s and 90s. YHC showed up to the Peltch at 6:29 to find Enron and Paradox most likely planning a beatdown for two. YHC hopped out the minivan with BAPS, a Cindy, and his very own letter jacket. It looked to be a tenacious trio of varsity prowess, brotiful and stUdfast.

    Warmarama: the usual stuff, made more satisfying when, per Enron’s prediction, French Horn tore into the parking lot five minutes late. His presence would be greatly appreciated, as the Horn dismantled YHCs trivia, thus saving the PAX 31 burpees at the end.

    The Thang

    – Mosey to treehouse, nur to stations
    – After each song, sprint to treehouse (approx 100 yards), nur back
    – Complete exercise at station, all 30 reps

    Stations in 30s
    – Squat butterflies with bricks
    – Hold Al Gore, Punch ups with bricks (2:1)
    – Coupon overhead press
    – Groiners

    –———
    Songs

    Song 1
    The Breakfast Club
    Jock: Andrew Clark
    Played by: Emilio Estevez
    Song: Don’t you forget about me
    Exercise: Burpees on “don’t, down, and la,la,la”
    Ssh or IWs in between

    Song 2
    Varsity Blues
    Lance Harbor
    Paul walker
    There goes my hero
    Bird dogs (alternating)
    Chilcutt PPs on refrain

    Song 3
    Back to the future
    Biff Tannen
    Thomas Wilson
    Roll with me Henry
    Burpee on every “roll”
    Bobby Hurley’s otherwise

    Song 4
    Revenge of the Nerds
    Frederick Aloysius palowaski
    Donald Gibb
    One foot in Front of the Other
    One leg hops
    Bonnie Blairs on refrain

    Song 5
    Grease
    Danny Zuko
    John Travolta
    Summer nights
    Pickle pounder when Danny sings
    J los when Sandy sings
    Chilcutt plank jacks when both sing
    Catalinas on chorus

    Max Heart rate Song
    It is Well (with my soul)
    Burpees on “well, soul, God, Christ”

    Namorama and French Horn prayed us out.

    Gentlemen, I write this as my last backblast for the Thibodaux PAX. I’ve kept it to myself, but my M and I are embarking on a new journey. As a former account manager at Google and Yahoo, Rebecca has accepted a job with Amazon HQ in Seattle. It’s an opportunity she can’t pass up.

    For me, as some of you may already know, I have a somewhat random passion for farming. Nothing like new beginnings to make one take a risky life plunge. That said, I’ve found a job on a small kumquat farm that specializes in organic kumquat products such as juices, jams, and face creams. It’s obviously a huge change, but I’m really excited. The name of the farm is Kumquat May. So clever…check it out. One of my jobs will include selling kumquat of the month subscriptions. Hope you’ll think of using us for some of your holiday gift ideas. Unfortunately, we don’t have much lead time, so we’re moving the family by end of April. It’s been a huge honor and pleasure getting to know each of you. I’ll be around for a few more beatdowns.

    SYITG,

    Yankee Jeaux

  • Hit ‘Dem Commitments! – from Goose

    A number of the PAX were with their wives on a married couples’ retreat with YHC over the weekend at Lumen Christi, and the rest of the PAX were gracious enough to meet us there at 6am for the official Saturday beatdown. The morning had already started with a number of awesome surprises:
    1. Two of the non-F3 retreatants came out after seemingly no interest shown the day before, one of whom had driven down from St. Louis. YHC happened to pack the trophy F3 St. Louis shirt won during the 2022 Make America Burpee Again CSAUP, and I only remembered that it was in my bag when he showed up that morning. It was an awesome “coincidence”, and the newly minted “Photoshop” will now be properly attired when he posts back home.
    2. A tall, dark, hooded being crept up silently in the cold darkness and refused to answer requests for identification until YHC recognized him when he was only about 10 feet away. Enron was ready to jump the stranger, but his wide smile and goofy laugh revealed the last Cotter we expected to see that morning–it was Cutthroat! After from swearing off F3, hills, and anything non-crossfit, he couldn’t fight that feeling anymore, and he was ready to battle the snakes, ant piles, and elevation that only this AO could deliver.
    3. Ben Naquin, to be later named “Prius”, caved to his brother-in-law, Fence Post’s pressure to get busy livin’, and despite a helluva tough year including some new physical limitations, powered out an incredible first beatdown with tenacity and perseverance matched by few.

    The joy of the 12 PAX at such a great showing was palpable, and the warmup was executed with high energy–a lot of the usuals with no arms; YHC’s shoulder is still needing some rest, so it would be lots of legs and abs today!

    The theme that would carry us through the day was the same as the retreat: Domestic Church–particularly the 7 commitments each couple chooses to improve upon over the course of their journey: individual prayer, prayer with Scripture, couple prayer, family prayer, couple dialogue, rule of life, and an annual retreat.

    Started with a combined individual prayer/prayer with Scripture, which was represented by an Indian run around the campus with the last guy dropping off for three genuflections before sprinting to the front of the line. Just like individual prayer, you gotta break the rhythm of the day to stop what you’re doing and hit your knees–it’s not gonna happen on its own!

    We stopped on top of the hill for couple prayer and partnered up for a lazy Dora. Each “couple” went back and forth offering their “prayers” in the form of splitting duty on 100 wife pleasers (the non-“praying” partner held bridge), 200 squats (other partner held Al Gore), and 300 flutter kicks (other partner held 6 inches). It was only later in the day, once the sun was up, that many of the PAX were able to see just how many ant piles were on that hill–it was truly a miracle no one laid in one or more and got munched. It really looked like we were all clear in the darkness of the gloom.

    Next was family prayer–a ring of fire with all PAX doing constant smurf jacks to represent a bunch of active kids waiting their turn to pray, or in this case, squat jump. We made it to 50 before YHC called it to make time for couple dialogue.

    Any Domestic Church veteran will tell you that couple dialogue, though typically a sleeper, is the secret sauce. This is where the real money is, where the major growth happens for the couples who take advantage of it. A couple dialogue allows a couple to make measurable progress–it takes time an effort, but if you don’t give up early, it’ll change you. It would be no different this morning–the memories and the PTSD would center around this routine: 11’s over the hill. We started on the lake side with 10 Apolo Onos and on the other did 1 gas pump–next time was 9 and 2 and so on until finishing at 1 Ono and 10 gas pumps. Transportation was nurring (running backward) up and running down (both ways). It was the nur. The nur uphill caused YHC to think more than once about calling this one early, and more than once I checked my watch to see if time would give me an excuse, but we were going too fast. Paradiddle and Wet Tap wouldn’t let YHC ease up without it being obvious–we were in it together, all in, or not at all. I’m grateful for those dudes, per usual, and for their tenacity and companionship, cuz there was no place for a tired, self-pitying Goose to hide, so I didn’t miss out on the chance for some solid growth in mental toughness.
    Huge T-claps to the two FNG’s (and Cutthroat, too) for their staying with this one–it was designed assuming we’d have nothing but veterans out there this morning, but these guys never gave up!
    Side-note–a few minutes into this is when another stranger emerged out of the gloom, this time with a bouncing phone flashlight, and tried to just enter the fray unnoticed, but his off-color, plant-worker humor gave him away, as did the 6:40 arrival time–typical Goats in the machine arrival time is 5-10 minutes late, but this time, his Lenten lack of social media usage made him 40 minutes late (didn’t check GroupMe), so he promised to do some Doras at home. Good to have you, Goats, regardless of how long we get you!

    We ended on the far side of the hill for rule of life and the annual retreat. For rule of life, we picked on of YHC’s household rules, no phones on the toilet. This was represented by 15 mountain man poopers, increasing in speed as the reps increased representing how quickly YHC can get in and out of the bathroom now.
    The retreat is a chance for us to pack up our wives and kids and drag them to a far off location in hopes that it will do us some good. So, we grabbed our partners and piggy-backed them up the hill, then dropped them, ran down, and flapjacked. This is where the highlight of the morning happened–Ben (“Prius”) was first carried by Superfun(d), who is not a small man, but when they flapjacked, YHC assumed there would be some modifications, but once Smooth dropped me at the top and I turned around, there was Ben, moving quick up the hill, a determined smile on his face. All our legs were dead at this point, but he wanted to see if he could do it. His digging deep blew the whole PAX away, and they erupted, cheering wildly as he topped the hill with his mustached rider. It was a thing of beauty.

    We moseyed back to the flag for 7 minutes of Mary, 20 IC of the following: crunchy frogs, leg raises, J-Lo’s, pickle pounders (excellent mumblechatter from Cutthroat and Cardinal about potential publicity issues with this), and Jane Fondas to go with Yankee Joe’s Donna Summers comments. Held plank for the last minute, and then called it.
    COT with some FNG naming fun, the Animal shirt going to the indomitable Paradiddle, and then Superfun(d) prayed us out. It was an awesome addition to the retreat, and another great shot in the arm for the F3 Thibodaux crew.

    SYTIG,
    Goose

  • Praying for a Pickle by Piccadilly – from Goose

    It was a beautiful and perfect morning at the Pelch as YHC anxiously arrived to deliver good long overdue VQ. If any of you have listened to the podcast on the first Q webpage, link will be at the bottom, I’m the guy he speaks of at the end. I’ve been coming to F3 for some time now and never had my Virgin Q, I allowed it to get in my head and I kept pushing it away for no good reason. Like me, I hope the PAX that attended enjoyed our time together this morning as much as I did.

    Thanks to Enron for the drawing board, Tana for the cones and SONOS for the gut shot as she decided to not wake up this morning. She’ll be back to redeem herself…promise you that. As I got over SONOS not connecting, I wiped the tear from my eye and gathered the PAX to get started. It was also a pleasant surprise to have G.I. Joe grace us with his presence this morning. For many of us that was our first beatdown together. Enjoy suffering in the soreness tomorrow with me!!

    Warm o Rama –
    SSH
    Arm circles
    Cherry pickers
    Grass grabbers with clap
    Self love
    High knees
    Butt kicks

    Indian run to thunder dome…start EMOM timer-5 kraken burpees at every 5 minute interval.

    As YHC dealt with covid this past week, he completely fell off the wagon with Exodus 90 as he didn’t want to add any more suffering to the misery. I now wish I would have sucked it up buttercup. The evil one has no boundaries when it comes to him battling to separate us from the LORD! I needed this song and the PAX to suffer with me during it to get me back on track…

    Thang #1 Kraken burpees= burpee with 3 hand release push ups at the bottom

    Come Follow Me – Brother Isaiah 5:20
    Air squats during verse-1st half song
    Kraken burpees during chorus
    Plank during verse-2nd half

    Mosey to field…

    Thang #2 – BC=bear crawl, KE=karaoke

    Introduction to one of my favorite sports, acronyms to bring the pain. My intention was to do 2 rounds of this but time didn’t allow. It was delightful yet painful as YJ respectfully reminded those, including me, of our impeccable form during this session.

    P-20 pickle pounders BC 10 yds Nur back
    I-10 inch worms KE 20 yds Nur back
    C-10 captain Thors 1BBS 4 American hammers/2 is 1, 30 yds BC Nur back
    K-10 kraken burpees 40 yds KE Nur back
    L-20 LBC 50 yds BC Nur back
    E-empty wheelbarrows, partner up, crabwalk w partner holding feet up 60 yds KE
    B-20 Bonnie Blair’s 70 yds KE Nur
    A-20 air squats 80 yds KE Nur
    L-lunges 90 yds Nur back
    L-5 LL Cool J’s alternating lunges burpee then jump squat KE Nur

    Mosey to tennis court…

    Thang #3

    A little teaser to the sport that no other sport has come close to the amount of fun PICKLEBALL delivers. I hope to find time in the future to play again with the PAX.

    Group 1&2
    Pickleball rally points to 3
    Winner 5 burpees, loser court suicides
    If you weren’t playing you were planking.

    Thanks for the support and comradery as we sledged through Dilly’s VQ! I look forward to future Qs bring out in me and the PAX!!

    SYITG

    Piccadilly