Hurpees (Hand Release Burpees) – The Gift That Keeps On Giving
Hurpees (Hand Release Burpees) – The Gift That Keeps On Giving

Hurpees (Hand Release Burpees) – The Gift That Keeps On Giving

Date:04/12/19
QIC:Willie
PAX:Organ Grinder, King Kong, Quarter Pipe, Gabarielle, Jingle Vader, Medulla Oblongata, Angie's List, Peaches, I Luv You Man, Jesus Juice, Screwtop, Sandbar, Saban, the Greek, Cow Bell, Bad Moon, Quincy, G Spot, Iron Horse, Landing Strip, Bartman, Brown Bag, Jadaveon, War Eagle, Chowda

After the PAX moseyed up to our usual WPM meeting spot in front of the Audubon Park fountains at 5:30AM, QIC asked if we had any FNGs, which we did not, and welcomed our out of town guest, Iron Horse, from F3 Tallahassee. Imagine Iron Horse’s surprise when he was informed that he came all the way to New Orleans to receive a Hurpees beat down with his F3 NOLA brothers. The disclaimer was announced, and the PAX performed 5 Hurpees on their own before moseying to the lawn in front of Tulane University for warm up. The warmup consisted of the following, all in cadence:

Imperial Walkers x 20, Windmills x 15, Arm Circles Front and Back x 10

Before greeting Touchdown Jesus on the lawn in front of Loyola University, the PAX knocked out 5 Hurpees on their own.

Once at the Loyola Lawn, the PAX partnered up to perform a 30, 60, 90 DORA consisting of Hurpees, Low Slow Squats, and Real Freddie Mercuries, respectively. While PAX 1 was exercising, PAX 2 had to cross the lawn as his favorite animal. PAX 1 and 2 alternated until all exercises were complete. QIC witnessed several Bear Crawls, Crab Walks, Bunny Hops, one Squirrel Slink, and something that resembled a wounded Duck Walk.

After a 10 count by King Kong, the PAX moseyed to the base of WPM where we split into 3 lines for an Indian Run up to the 4th floor. Even though QIC directed the left and right lines to sprint on the outside, this direction was not followed. QIC did not realize that Hurpees negatively impacted the PAX’s hearing.

Once on the 4th floor, Brown Bag was asked to indulge the PAX in a 20 count. Upon conclusion, the PAX circled up for a round of Jack Webbs. After several groans, the PAX progressed through the Jack Webbs to complete 10 merkins and 20 air presses. Before gathering to conquer the remainder of WPM, the PAX performed 5 Hurpees on their own.

The PAX continued to the top of WPM sprinting on the flats and running backwards up the inclines. Once gathered under the stars, the PAX circled up again, this time for a round robin of MARY. QIC started the festivities with a slow cadence of Penguins x 15. The remaining exercises were as follows:

War Eagle – Dying Cockroach x 15

Brown Bag – Real Freddie Mercuries x 20

Bartman – J Los x 20

Angie’s List – LBCs x 40 (ridiculous)

Quarter Pipe – I’m going to call this a low plank, reverse wife pleaser x 15 Imagine the PAX on Airline Highway, in the act of contracting a real case of Hurpees. The PAX would have been happy doing these on a crawfish farm, if you get my drift…

After five more Hurpees on their own, the PAX moseyed down the stairs and gathered in front of TDJ for a brief round of shoulder, quad, and hamstring stretches, to which Angie’s List exclaimed was the cure for our recurring case of Hurpees.

The COT commenced with a count off, name-o-rama, announcements, intentions, and a closing prayer. The PAX was then dismissed for additional treatment.