YHC has been on this whisky journey about as long as I have been showing up at F3.
What to do with the barrels? Bourbon barrels can only be used once for bourbon (27 CFR Part 5), and after several journeys of whisky downriver from KY, YHC has accumulated a number of empties and no Scottish broker to send them on. For years YHC has wondered if the 115lb oak treasure chests could be utilized as coupons for a beatdown.
A little history first. Wooden staved containers, the forerunners of barrels, were used by Egyptians, as early as 3000 BCE. But the Celts made innovations to the wooden staves and iron hoops around 300 BCE creating the water tight transporters of precious liquids we know today – ales, meads and imported wines. (Julius Ceasar also used them as incendiary bombs from catapults!). Then Irish descendants of Celts began distilling uisce beatha as early as 1324, and the barrel was ready for filling. Later, their Scots Irish descendants would leave for the new world, hike over the Appalachian mountains and develop a thirst. Soon they would be distilling a little extra to give to friends and sell to neighbors, and eventually the even thirstier New Orleanians. The barrel made that possible.
The form and shape of barrels are made for human hands, not forklifts or cranes. Measuring 36” tall, by 21” at the head and 26” at the bilge, weighing a hefty 115 lbs empty and over 500 full, they are remarkably maneuverable and durable. When on its side, the bilge of a barrel makes a low-friction circumference that enables a human to turn and roll it as needed. The chime, which is the beveled 1” that extends beyond the head of the barrel, is easily gripped by human fingers for tilting and spinning. A few thousand years of history have delivered us an interesting coupon.
So on this gorgeous faux fall morning YHC happened to have 5 empty barrels in my truck, which I staged in front of the zoo. My admonition the night before to wear gloves did not deter the PAX as we were 29 strong at 5:30. YHC did the regular disclaimer (with a little extra warning) and we moseyed to the field across Magazine. To warm up we did 49 SSH in cadence, 25 merkins OYO, forward and reverse tie fighter arm circles, windmills and 25 more merkins OYO. We did a head count then moseyed to the truck and the barrels.
The Thang.
I had 10 pair of gloves laid out for the soft handed, and some PAX took the offer as YHC dropped barrels off the tailgate. The PAX organized into 5 groups of 5-7 and each selected a barrel.
First Task – get your barrel to the levee. Some groups opted to lift their barrel onto four shoulders like they were hucklebearers. Others tried rotations of two PAX lifting and carrying the barrel at waist height. But a couple of groups realized these things can roll and momentum was their friend. Soon we had a herd of PAX rolling and clattering through the parking lot in a chaotic scene, dodging and slapping barrels that got out of control. Across the train tracks and down the levee path. Some of the PAX were beginning to sweat.
2nd Task – At the base of the levee the PAX in each group split into 2 teams. The first teams of 2-3 had to flip the barrel end over end, up the levee to the top,while the remaining PAX did Russian twists in cadence on the path. Flapjack. Next the PAX had to roll the barrel up the levee and back down in teams. On the way down a few barrels got out of control and struck the electric poles at the bottom, shaking the eagles nests at the top of the poles – felonious habitat disturbance.
3rd Task. The PAX stood the barrels on end and each PAX took a turn balancing their six on the top while completing a 10 count core exercise. All the PAX cycled through the balancing act while the rest kept count with more Russian Twists, LBCs, and LBTs.
4th Task. The PAX had to bring the barrels back to the Audubon statue in front of the zoo. (side note – According to Audubon’s journal, he once purchased 300 barrels of whisky in Henderson KY for reselling further down the river in St. Genevieve, MO). This time, the PAX had to carry the barrels. The PAX again were innovative in their approaches, trying to achieve a quick shuffle mosey while not tripping.
5th Task. The PAX placed the edge of the barrels on the bench and then took turns doing low slow squats with a barrel for a 10 count, while the other PAX did low slow squats in cadence. Then YHC had the PAX organize for 2 spotters for each barrel, while each PAX rotated through doing 10 bench presses of the barrel. The other PAX did merkins while waiting their turn.
After that, the PAX returned the barrels to the truck and moseyed back for the COT. Grateful once again for all of these guys.
If you want to check out Skeeter’s lascivious form on the barrel squats or any of the other CSAUP ridiculousness here’s a link to badly edited video.
https://photos.app.goo.gl/DLST6QTUYT9UbPte9
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