F3 New Orleans

Category: New Orleans

  • The Big Picture Hurts Sometimes   (by Pope) – from Goose

    PAX: Pope, Goose, Bambam, Duke, Maneater, Jackknife, Captain D, Darrell Strawberry, Honey Suckle, Popeye, Yankee Joe
                     
                      The morning began with YHC coming downstairs to the scene of the average 10 minutes before our family’s departure for something like a doctor’s appointment or church or the like, but at 5:50 am. Reasons for our showing up at 6:27 included our inability to find a suitable cold-weather hat for Duke and an ill-timed wakeup of mini-2.0 (and YHC’s inability to find his object of pacification). Eventually we managed to get moving; we arrived and parked by the field by Bayou Road. We greeted the early PAX by 6:30 and had the usual warmup (SSH, imperial walkers, toy soldiers, windmills, WMH, arm circles, cherry pickers, self-love) then moseyed.
                      YHC jumped ahead of the PAX, grabbed five cones, and set them up in the field in pentagonal fashion, each about 10 yards apart, with a small piece of Paw Patrol diaper box with much less friendly sharpie handwriting on the blank sides. The rest of the PAX grabbed coupons out of Goose’s truck and fell in inside the pentagon. YHC proceeded to explain the circuit, with exercises corresponding to each stage of man’s journey from his origins to his return to God.
                      The routine (largely inspired by Coyote’s everything-I-hate formula) was as follows:
     
    ·      Station 1(the Trinity; the Source of all things)
                      7  8-ct blockee builders, shoulder-carry coupon to next station
    ·      Station 2 (Creation; man created in God’s image)
                     7  man-makers, rifle-carry to next station
    ·      Station 3 (The Fall; man is thrust from grace)
                      15 thrusters, murder bunny to next station
    ·      Station 4 (Redemption; Jesus’ death and resurrection)
                      15 WW3 situps (modified from 20 after one visit), coupon lunge to            next station
    ·      Station 5 (Glorification; man’s return to God)
                                        20 star jumps, block-n-bear back to station 1
     
                      The backdrop soundtrack playing during the repetition of the above routine had been laced with a few songs (covers by the Snake Charmer, distinguishable by the bagpipes at the beginning of each of the songs) that acted as circuit-breakers; upon hearing these the PAX stopped wherever they were and ran a lap around the entire field. Station 3 had a catch to it, namely that if a PAX was there doing thrusters when a circuit-breaker sounded, he would have 30, not 15, thrusters now to complete. As a result, thrusters didn’t seem to be as much of a struggle for the PAX today as they usually are.
                      All the PAX started at station 1 and went at their own pace. Naturally, Goose and Honey Suckle led the way; YHC was drained of q-drenaline, and found what motivation there was to be found in trying not to get lapped by Goose. Additionally, YHC had a realistic experience of the faith journey, frequently hounded by the mental hostility of the adversary (portrayed this morning by Jackknife, who hounded YHC like a dirty little demon in oversized gloves).
                      The PAX recovered at 7:29 and returned the coupons.
                      COT and Maneater prayed us out.
                      Happy 11th birthday to Darrel Strawberry! Congrats on entry to the 11-year-old 2.0 gang of rascals.
                      Real shoutout to the PAX who showed up this morning, as chatter continued for the entire beatdown. Wishes of abundant graces for us all this Advent.
                                                                                                                                                                      SYITG, Pope

  • Remembering Pearl Harbor – from Fracsac

    6 pax at the Mothership to remember the day that dragged the USA in WWII.
    47 degrees with a light wind and dry conditions.
    Warmup up at the peristyle.

    First fact dropped: At 6:37 a.m. on the morning of December 7th, 1941, the Wickes-class destroyer USS Ward attacked and sank a Ko-hyoteki-class midget submarine near the entrance to the harbor, officially making it not only the first shot fired on that day, but the first American shots in the War in the Pacific. The sub’s periscope was spotted above the water by the minesweeper Condor, which alerted the crew of the Ward, who opened fire on the intruder.

    Pax asked official local time the Japanese invasion started. Burpees for being wrong: On December 7, 1941, at 7:55 a.m. Hawaii time, a Japanese dive bomber bearing the red symbol of the Rising Sun of Japan on its wings appears out of the clouds above the island of Oahu.

    Mosey to the great lawn. Next fact: 37 pairs or trios of brothers were assigned to the USS Arizona. Of those, 23 sets were killed, constituting 62 men.

    5 burpees per corner with 8 burpees at last corner
    Bear crawl short sides

    Pax asked how many Americans were killed this day. Within 300 would not bring on a penalty. We did 10 x 8 count body builders. FYI: Ultimately, 2,403 Americans died in the attack. A total of 18 ships were lost or damaged, including the USS Arizona, which still leaks oil from beneath the war memorial in the harbor. All this damage was inflicted in just two short hours.

    18 big boi sit-ups then run to bridge by Cafe Du Monde. Rinse and repeat.

    Pax asked what North American country first declared war on Japan? Penalty of 10 x 8 count body builders for wrong answer. It was Canada!
    FYI: Japan’s invasion of Hong Kong began the morning of December 8th, 1941. Hawaii’s timezone is 18 hours behind, meaning that while British, Indian, and Canadian forces defended against the Japanese forces, war between Canada and Japan was already underway before the first bombs fell on Pearl Harbor. As a result of the Hong Kong invasion as well as the surprise assault on Canada’s North American ally, Prime Minister Mackenzie King (above) declared that a state of war existed with Japan, which preceded President Roosevelt’s address by mere hours.

    How long was famous FDR “Day of Infamy” speech? 7 minutes!
    3 minutes of the suck, 1 minute rest, 3 minutes of the suck.

    In Canada what is a 2-4? Wrong answer, so 10 x 8 count body builders. It’s a case of beer! 24 pack…

    Run the four corners again with 4 burpees at each corner.

    Circle up for Mary.

    COT

    It was an honor to lead!

    SYITG

  • Remembering Pearl Harbor – from Fracsac

    6 pax at the Mothership to remember the day that dragged the USA in WWII.
    47 degrees with a light wind and dry conditions.
    Warmup up at the peristyle.

    First fact dropped: At 6:37 a.m. on the morning of December 7th, 1941, the Wickes-class destroyer USS Ward attacked and sank a Ko-hyoteki-class midget submarine near the entrance to the harbor, officially making it not only the first shot fired on that day, but the first American shots in the War in the Pacific. The sub’s periscope was spotted above the water by the minesweeper Condor, which alerted the crew of the Ward, who opened fire on the intruder.

    Pax asked official local time the Japanese invasion started. Burpees for being wrong: On December 7, 1941, at 7:55 a.m. Hawaii time, a Japanese dive bomber bearing the red symbol of the Rising Sun of Japan on its wings appears out of the clouds above the island of Oahu.

    Mosey to the great lawn. Next fact: 37 pairs or trios of brothers were assigned to the USS Arizona. Of those, 23 sets were killed, constituting 62 men.

    5 burpees per corner with 8 burpees at last corner
    Bear crawl short sides

    Pax asked how many Americans were killed this day. Within 300 would not bring on a penalty. We did 10 x 8 count body builders. FYI: Ultimately, 2,403 Americans died in the attack. A total of 18 ships were lost or damaged, including the USS Arizona, which still leaks oil from beneath the war memorial in the harbor. All this damage was inflicted in just two short hours.

    18 big boi sit-ups then run to bridge by Cafe Du Monde. Rinse and repeat.

    Pax asked what North American country first declared war on Japan? Penalty of 10 x 8 count body builders for wrong answer. It was Canada!
    FYI: Japan’s invasion of Hong Kong began the morning of December 8th, 1941. Hawaii’s timezone is 18 hours behind, meaning that while British, Indian, and Canadian forces defended against the Japanese forces, war between Canada and Japan was already underway before the first bombs fell on Pearl Harbor. As a result of the Hong Kong invasion as well as the surprise assault on Canada’s North American ally, Prime Minister Mackenzie King (above) declared that a state of war existed with Japan, which preceded President Roosevelt’s address by mere hours.

    How long was famous FDR “Day of Infamy” speech? 7 minutes!
    3 minutes of the suck, 1 minute rest, 3 minutes of the suck.

    In Canada what is a 2-4? Wrong answer, so 10 x 8 count body builders. It’s a case of beer! 24 pack…

    Run the four corners again with 4 burpees at each corner.

    Circle up for Mary.

    COT

    It was an honor to lead!

    SYITG

  • What a Beautiful Morning – from Heisenberg

    Warm Up – Grass Grabbers IC 15 , Windmills IC 15 , SSH IC 31, Arm Circles IC 10, Seal Claps IC 10, Moroccan Night Clubs IC 10, Burpees IC 10
    The Thing – Tabata 40 sec on 20 seconds off
    Station 1 – Speed Rope
    Station 2 – Burpees
    Station 3 – Shadow Box using Egg weights
    Station 3 – Step Ups with 20 lb plate
    Station 4 – Kettle bell swings
    Station 5 – Heavy Rope
    Station 6 – 60 lb Sand Bag Rows
    Station 7 – 15 lb Curls on stability Pad
    Station 8 – Heavy Rope
    Station 9 – Step-ups 30lb Ruck
    With 5 ish Minutes Left – Back of Museum – Sunday Mornings
    Finished with 10 burpees OYO
    COT

    Personally Curated Playlist
    Oklahoma! (Expanded Edition/Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) Gordon MacRae
    Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas (Remastered 2006) Bing Crosby
    Feliz Navidad José Feliciano
    The Christmas Song (Merry Christmas To You) (Remastered) Nat King Cole
    Blue Christmas Elvis Presley
    Run Rudolph Run Chuck Berry
    Christmas In New Orleans Louis Armstrong
    Jingle Bell Rock Bobby Helms
    Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree Brenda Lee
    It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year Andy Williams
    Santa Baby Eartha Kitt
    Caroling, Caroling Nat King Cole
    Symphony No. 9 in D Minor, Op. 125, “Choral”: IV. Finale. “Ode to Joy” (excerpt) (From “Die Hard: With a Vengeance”)
    Joy To The World Nat King Cole

  • Keeping Wednesdays Alive – from Boo-Boo

    Three PAX showed up to clear skies, no wind, air temps in the mid-40s, and commitment to keep Wednesdays at JPAX alive.

    Slowsey to the pad for a warmup consisting of Grass Grabbers, Imperial Walkers, forward and reverse arm circles, Mountain Man Poopers with Good Mornings, Parker Peter/Peter Parkers, Thai Fighters, and Abe Vigodas.

    Scantroned halfway to JPAS and mosey the remainder of the way.

    The Thang

    7 rounds (8 for Mahatma and Frac to support the 6) of 12 reps per exercise, no rest between reps, 1 minute rest after each round

    Box jumps

    V-ups

    Mountain climbers 2-1

    Freddy Mercs

    Merkins (PAX choice on variations)

    Mosey up the stairs and back down the ramp.

    PAX appreciated the new light at the stairs, but also noticed the staged coupons were exposed. After all rounds were completed, PAX slowseyed to the stairs to reorganize the coupon cache.

    Mosey to the jogging path for a burpee at each light pole (regardless of whether it was lit or not) around JPAS.

    Scantroned halfway to the flag, moseyed the other half. COT with prayers for Mahatma’s niece, Frac’s parents, Boo-Boo’s SIL, and Charmin’s family. Boo-Boo out!

  • The Best Way to Process Trauma is to Go Through it Again with All Your Friends – from Goose

    YHC got a nasty case of what seemed to be food poisoning in the afternoon of Thanksgiving Day. This provided for an excellent scenario: enjoyed all the wonderful food, gained no weight from overeating, got hours and hours of intense core exercise, and gained inspiration for the empty Monday Q slot.

    After a warmup of the usual on this chilly morning, YHC began the reenactment of that fateful Thanksgiving Day as we cued up the “Gobble Gobble” song by Matthew West that YJ introduced last year.
    Thanksgiving Day started as one would expect, overeating at the table/trough next to family members. So, we partnered up, and while the music carried us through the details of the feast, one partner planked while the other did 10 merkins before switching. It wasn’t a long song, but it was plenty long enough.

    After dinner, we began the neighborhood walk portion of the day, a tradition for many families, and this was accomplished via a simple mosey around the traditional mile route. But, at the beginning of the last quarter-mile, unexpected things began to happen. The world began to spin just a little bit, and at each lampost, we turned 90 degrees to either carioca, nur, carioca the other way, or run. Dizziness was kicking in, and something wasn’t right. Then, it hit–this was happening. It was time to sprint to the toilet/flag.

    At this point, the waves of nausea are making it impossible to stand upright, but also impossible to lay down comfortably. So, we lined up on the edge of the concrete and rolled around and around uncomfortably for two minutes (via the following exercises, AMRAP) before having to run to the toilet:
    10 big boy situps
    10 Nolan Ryans on the left elbow
    10 Afflecks
    10 Nolan Ryans on the right elbow

    Once two minutes were up, we ran to the “toilet”, a pair of coupons for each man about 10 yards from the concrete. Here we hovered over the toilet and wretched from all the way down in our toes before sitting on the toilet and opening a firehose. This was accomplished via 10 manmakers and 20 pooper squats (sit on the upended coupon and extend legs out front, like Jeff Daniels on Dumb and Dumber) or until 2 minutes were up. We than ran back to “bed” and did it all over again.

    For Round 2, things were really starting to go downhill. For the first 2 minutes rolling around in agony in the “bed” we replaced the BBSU with 10 wife pleasers, because now the rear faucet is out of control and is requiring that level of glute squeezing to keep the sheets clean. Nolan Ryans on the left still followed, but then the Afflecks were replaced by 10 chilly jacks (low plank jacks). Left elbow Nolan Ryans still followed, and the rolling continued until 2 minutes was up.

    This time, to get back and forth from the toilet, since we were losing fluids and strength at such a rapid rate, we had to (bear) crawl. The exercises were still manmakers and squat poopers, though–no matter how much we wanted to avoid them, the wretching is involuntary, and it (as well as the rectal peeing) comes when it will. Can’t stop that train.

    It was somewhere around this time that Cuz asked, “Why would you want to go through all this again? Cuz, Cuz–the best way to process trauma is to take some of the hair of the dog that bit the horses you and your friends rode in on and make a mat out of it to do low planks and Nolan Ryans on.

    As “Lime in the Coconut” was fading, we had time to do one last lightning round. One minute or rolling around consisted of 20 flutter kicks, 10 Nolan Ryans, 10 Australian sweat angels, and 10 Nolan Ryans. Bear crawl to the toilet again, but this time, sincere there’s really nothing left in your stomach, the manmakers become 10 burpees. And, the squat poopers are now done holding a coupong since it’s now much harder to get up off the toilet.

    Thankfullly, we were saved by the bell (zofran and Immodium), and the recovery process began. COT and the Animal shirt went to Cuz for his well-time one-liners that he was still slingin’ in the later rounds. YHC expresed gratitude for a chance to relive a version of the Turkey Day Horrors with concrete blocks and great men. And, now the whole PAX are looking forward to the Salmonella beatdown, which is sure to come once Enron can get out of the bathroon.

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • The Leading Ladies of KenarieRidge – from Charmin

    Warm-o-rama:

    Slow-vagodas x 10
    Grass Grabbers x 10
    Hill billies x 10
    Good Mornings x 10

    Arms:
    Forward x 10
    Backwards x 10
    T-clap x 10
    Seal Claps x 10
    Chinooks x 15

    It was at this point that Kennah Brah came in hot.

    Kim Jong Uns x 10
    Harry Rockettes x 10

    The thang:

    Staying at the workout pad, pax are challenged on their knowledge of the leading ladies of Kenarieridge

    They are:
    Thalia, muse of comedy
    Melpomene, muse of tragedy
    Terpsicore, muse of dance
    Euterpe, muse of music

    If a pax didn’t know the name of a muse, no repeats, then they would have to run to JPAX while the rest of us did Merkins, Frog Merkins, Hangs, Plank Jax, Low Slow Squats, & MNC’s. If a pax did know the name, then all pax would do the exercise for 2 minutes.

    We did set a world record of MNC’s for a total of, you guessed it, 89 MNC’s.

    For the second round, the Pax would have to list what each muse was the muse of, to test how well they paid attention during the first round. Same exercises as the first round.

    6 Minutes of Mary

    Freddy Mercuries x 20
    Flutter kicks x 20

    Bolt then lead Protractor Penguins x 20

    Appreciators

    COT. It was a pleasure leading this last workout before my third child was born and I hope I imparted on the PAX to begin to notice the small things everyday around them.

  • Hawg’s Birthday – from Charmin

    All came out to celebrate Hawg. Some Ran, Some Rucked, others just showed up. All had a good time.

  • Hawg’s Birthday – from Charmin

    All came out to celebrate Hawg. Some Ran, Some Rucked, others just showed up. All had a good time.

  • They are wet because they are dry – from Honeysuckle

    On a colder than usual day in the gloom, YHC returned from a warm up run to find White Meat holding warm in his truck. Not long after, Lil Cuz and Pikachu pulled up. Not wanting to miss SSHs, Safety Valve arrived shortly after and we began the warmarama.

    SSHs, Imperial Walkers, Willie Mays Hayes, Arm circles, cherry pickers, toy soldiers

    Mosey to the far gate. As is usually the case, some sort of run through the park is used to showcase some prepping. In this case, it was a pile of coupons and some cones spaced too far apart for Valve’s liking. White Meat complained that it was harder for him to see in the cold weather but that no one ever believes him. Valve said that it made perfect sense, because the eyes were dry. Then Meat said that they were wet. Then Zen Master Valve responded that they were wet because they were dry. And then proceeded to describe a feedback loop that detects dry eyes and causes tears to be dispensed (via some sort of valve opening, if you will). This, and White Meat doing his best impersonation of an eye doctor, carried us through the entire mosey and we arrived at the coupons.

    Thang 1:

    YHC then described the main event, which is some variation of Dora that may or may not be in the exicon. The coupon is to be moved incrementally from cone to cone (6 steps in all) and then back to the start line. On the way out, partner one runs to the coupon, lunge walks it to the next cone, then does 15 thrusters. The home partner starts 30 burpees. Then partner 1 runs back and helps partner 2 complete the burpees. When they are complete, partner 2 is released to move the coupon and partner 1 starts the 30 burpee counter again.

    Unrelated to any of this, YHC also admitted that this was not a Drew Carey beatdown, so perhaps it was better that Goose wasn’t there as he probably wouldn’t have been able to contain his disappointment. Rather, YHC asked why does Cleveland Rock? The best the Pax could come up with was that it’s in Ohio. YHC then revealed that Cleveland is the home of the Rock n’ Roll Hall of Fame, and today we would be listening to songs from the 2024 inductees. This included Foreigner, Ozzy Osborne, A Tribe Called Qwest, Jimmy Buffett, and Kool n the Gang.

    After the six coupon steps away from the start line are done, the coupon is moved back towards the starting line. This time, the explorer partner does 25 curls upon reaching the coupon then murder bunnies to the next cone. The home partner is doing 50 big boy situps. Again, the explorer partner helps complete the 50 BBS’s before the swap happens.

    All in all, each PAX did 45 thrusters, 75 curls, and did roughly half of the 180 burpees and 300 BBS’s.

    Somehow, after initially falling behind to team LiL Suckle, team Safety Meat pulled ahead and finished first. They were fast because they were slow?

    Thang 2:

    YHC really had no idea how long this Dora would take, but as everyone pushed through the burn and didn’t take breaks, there was still a fair amount of time left. YHC had sort of prepared for this situation, so we moseyed to the playground. Valve saw right through this and immediately knew that hanging would be involved. The same teams were kept, and the first teammate had to hang while the other did 5 merkins. Then they swapped and the teammate that was just hanging now did 6 merkins while the other teammate had to hang. And so on, adding one merkin each time.

    Given the recent time warps that have been experienced in beatdowns, with both AB and Goose messing with our mental ratios of work-to-time, White Meat realized what time it was and had to leave when this was almost over. So Honey Cuz became Lil Honey Valve and we continued until 20 merkins were reached. This burned because it was cold.

    Thang 3:

    The Pax at this point wanted to do some Mary and go home, but not today. We moseyed back to the coupons and did farmers carrys with double coupons over the 60 yard course a few times (after a few kinks were worked out). It felt like it took so long because we only had a few minutes left.

    Eventally we reached 59:30 and moseyed to the where the flags normally are for namearama, announcements, and intentions.

    Though among the Pax there were at least 3 shirts to exchange, YHC forgot his and Meat had to leave, so no awards were handed out.

    Lil Cuz prayed us out. Thanks men for venturing out in the cold after Thanksgiving, though I am sure you were really hoping for Dox dressed as Mimi.

    SYITG,
    Honeysuckle