F3 New Orleans

Category: New Orleans

  • Hawg’s Birthday – from Charmin

    All came out to celebrate Hawg. Some Ran, Some Rucked, others just showed up. All had a good time.

  • They are wet because they are dry – from Honeysuckle

    On a colder than usual day in the gloom, YHC returned from a warm up run to find White Meat holding warm in his truck. Not long after, Lil Cuz and Pikachu pulled up. Not wanting to miss SSHs, Safety Valve arrived shortly after and we began the warmarama.

    SSHs, Imperial Walkers, Willie Mays Hayes, Arm circles, cherry pickers, toy soldiers

    Mosey to the far gate. As is usually the case, some sort of run through the park is used to showcase some prepping. In this case, it was a pile of coupons and some cones spaced too far apart for Valve’s liking. White Meat complained that it was harder for him to see in the cold weather but that no one ever believes him. Valve said that it made perfect sense, because the eyes were dry. Then Meat said that they were wet. Then Zen Master Valve responded that they were wet because they were dry. And then proceeded to describe a feedback loop that detects dry eyes and causes tears to be dispensed (via some sort of valve opening, if you will). This, and White Meat doing his best impersonation of an eye doctor, carried us through the entire mosey and we arrived at the coupons.

    Thang 1:

    YHC then described the main event, which is some variation of Dora that may or may not be in the exicon. The coupon is to be moved incrementally from cone to cone (6 steps in all) and then back to the start line. On the way out, partner one runs to the coupon, lunge walks it to the next cone, then does 15 thrusters. The home partner starts 30 burpees. Then partner 1 runs back and helps partner 2 complete the burpees. When they are complete, partner 2 is released to move the coupon and partner 1 starts the 30 burpee counter again.

    Unrelated to any of this, YHC also admitted that this was not a Drew Carey beatdown, so perhaps it was better that Goose wasn’t there as he probably wouldn’t have been able to contain his disappointment. Rather, YHC asked why does Cleveland Rock? The best the Pax could come up with was that it’s in Ohio. YHC then revealed that Cleveland is the home of the Rock n’ Roll Hall of Fame, and today we would be listening to songs from the 2024 inductees. This included Foreigner, Ozzy Osborne, A Tribe Called Qwest, Jimmy Buffett, and Kool n the Gang.

    After the six coupon steps away from the start line are done, the coupon is moved back towards the starting line. This time, the explorer partner does 25 curls upon reaching the coupon then murder bunnies to the next cone. The home partner is doing 50 big boy situps. Again, the explorer partner helps complete the 50 BBS’s before the swap happens.

    All in all, each PAX did 45 thrusters, 75 curls, and did roughly half of the 180 burpees and 300 BBS’s.

    Somehow, after initially falling behind to team LiL Suckle, team Safety Meat pulled ahead and finished first. They were fast because they were slow?

    Thang 2:

    YHC really had no idea how long this Dora would take, but as everyone pushed through the burn and didn’t take breaks, there was still a fair amount of time left. YHC had sort of prepared for this situation, so we moseyed to the playground. Valve saw right through this and immediately knew that hanging would be involved. The same teams were kept, and the first teammate had to hang while the other did 5 merkins. Then they swapped and the teammate that was just hanging now did 6 merkins while the other teammate had to hang. And so on, adding one merkin each time.

    Given the recent time warps that have been experienced in beatdowns, with both AB and Goose messing with our mental ratios of work-to-time, White Meat realized what time it was and had to leave when this was almost over. So Honey Cuz became Lil Honey Valve and we continued until 20 merkins were reached. This burned because it was cold.

    Thang 3:

    The Pax at this point wanted to do some Mary and go home, but not today. We moseyed back to the coupons and did farmers carrys with double coupons over the 60 yard course a few times (after a few kinks were worked out). It felt like it took so long because we only had a few minutes left.

    Eventally we reached 59:30 and moseyed to the where the flags normally are for namearama, announcements, and intentions.

    Though among the Pax there were at least 3 shirts to exchange, YHC forgot his and Meat had to leave, so no awards were handed out.

    Lil Cuz prayed us out. Thanks men for venturing out in the cold after Thanksgiving, though I am sure you were really hoping for Dox dressed as Mimi.

    SYITG,
    Honeysuckle

  • Mothership 2024-11-30 – from Catfish

    Conditions – Nice and chilly with a nice cool breeze, almost feels like Christmas!
    The Thang:
    Started with 10 OYO burpees, then a mosey to the peristyle for a warmup:
    SSH x 20 in cadence
    Imperial Squat Walkers x 20 in cadence
    8-Counts x 10 in cadence
    Peter Parker Peters x 20 in cadence
    Merkins x 20 (1 is 1) in cadence
    Took a bear-crawl half-lap around the peristyle, then switched to crawl-bear for the second half.
    Grabbed a column for a people’s chair, then did a short round of bat-wings holding the people’s chair (all exercised in cadence) – arm circles x 10, reverse arm circles x 10, overhead claps x 10, seal claps x 10, Moroccan night clubs x 10.
    Moseyed to the great lawn and partnered up for a round of BOMBS – 50 burpees, 100 overhead claps, 150 merkins, 200 big-boys, 250 squats.
    Moseyed over to the bench at the corner by the sculpture garden for alternating leg step ups (in cadence x 20) and Rocky Balboas (x 20 in cadence)
    Moseyed to the stairs on the west side of the museum for calf raises (x 20 in cadence), left leg side leg raises (x 10 in cadence) and right leg side leg raises (x 10 in cadence). Got on sixes for flutter kicks (x 20 in cadence), LBTs ( x 20 in cadence), and Dr. Ws (x 10 in cadence).
    Moseyed to Stonehenge by the entrance the sculpture garden for 8-counts (x 10 in cadence).
    Moseyed to the bandstand by Café du Monde for donkey kicks (x 10 in cadence).
    Back to flag, 5 OYO burpees to finish. COT. Coffee at the Bean Gallery because PJ’s on Canal still undergoing renovation.

  • Thankful for Modern Medicine – from Goose

    Dox reached out to YHC yesterday afternoon needing a Q sub. Apparently, he had picked up some sort of parasite from an hours-long operation wherein he was elbows deep in a badly infected toe. YHC was grateful to honor these heroics, especially since it gave YHC the opportunity to build a beatdown around a big toe that’s still recovering from surgery. There would be no running or side straddle hops, but there would still be plenty to be grateful for.

    After a warmup of slow foot movements, YHC cued up a song routine suggested by a number of his 2.0’s. The song is “Popcorn” by the Barenaked Ladies from their genius kids album, “Snacktime”. Seriously, do yourself a favor and put it on next time you’re on the road with the fam.

    The only move possible for the trigger word “pop” is Moroccan Nightclubs, so that’s we did. Can’t say it was the greatest routine (or explanation of its connection to the Thanksgiving theme) but it wasn’t the worst.

    We then grabbed coupons and walked over to the field by the big flag where we circled around Bose’ mounted on his concrete throne. YHC then rambled a bit about the difference intentionally cultivated gratitude makes, especially as a remedy for self-pity and resentment. Today we’d cultivate a little gratitude via the letters of the word “Thanksgiving”.

    Each letter stood for an exercise that we’d do three rounds each of, Tabata style (45 seconds on, 15 seconds off). It went like this:
    * Tricep presses (deep, burning foreshadowing)
    * Hand release merkins
    * American hammers
    * Nolan Ryan’s (switch halfway through the middle of the second round)
    * Kettle bell swings
    * Sit-ups, WWIII variety (to the great delight of Lil’ Cuz)
    * Goblet squats
    * Inchworm Merkins
    * V-ups (prompted my M to ask, “Which exercise has you pulling up handfuls of grass and stuffing them down the back of your shorts? What letter does that one start with?”)
    * Isometric low plank (just a low plank)
    * This is where we ran out of time, but these fine HIMS couldn’t stand not finishing, so they all agreed to see it to the end)
    * Neil Diamonds (aka Kneel Diamonds)
    * Gorilla Humpers (wide monkey humpers)

    And by the time we were done, we were all filled with gratitude. Wait, no, grass. We were all filled with grass.

    Prayers for Dox and others who are sick, and Tap prayed us out.

    Grateful for these awesome dudes getting up early on a holiday, the only hype being that we’d be couponing. And, grateful for the excuse to stuff myself today.

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • 2 Weeks is 2 Long! – from Bolt

    YHC had been under the weather and traveling, leading to too many fartsacks and too many excuses. Having had enough the call was made for HCs to Waning Wednesday at The Goldmine. Boo-boo was first to answer with a choice offered: The Goldmine or Pontiff and YHC texted with Pontiff…in the event he fartsacked so as not to leave Boo-boo solo. Space Cowboy HC’d which meant The Goldmine would prevail for both pax previously destined for Pontiff!
    Having started this whole thing, YHC prepped to Q—speaker and Frac’s favorite song in hand. Disclaimer and off to the warmup pad for LSS, Abe SLOWgodas, Tie Fighter R/L, SSH, Shoulder taps, PP/PP, OH claps.

    Mosey to JPAX via shuffle each direction, karaoke each direction, KnOT walk, Mosey, switching at each light pole.

    The Thang: KISS—ascending ladder BLIMPS (Burpees, Lunges, Imperial Walkers, Merkins, Plank Jacks, Squats) with 10 step ups 2:1 after each letter:
    5 Burpees, step ups
    Add a letter and 5 reps to the count
    5 Burpees, 10 Lunges, step ups…
    …all the way to 30 Squats
    YHC had to pause several times for HR to drop below 160 before resuming as Space Cowboy lapped us, per usual.

    Mosey back to warmup pad for Mary, pax choice: LBCx30, Dying cockroachesx30, Protractor Penguins (this one sucked and WILL return)x5 at 15/90/45/15/45. Switch to AMRAP of pax choice while 30 sec. dead hang is timer: plank, xfactors, and close out time with high plank. COT

  • – from America’s Best

    A few weeks ago, YHC and a couple of other HIMs were discussing why a certain HIM (who shall remain unnamed) has not yet taken a Q. The answer from him the HIM: the bar is too damn high! YHC granted that things were out of hand. It was time to, in the words of Romanian-German new-age worldbeat musical project Enigma, return to innocence.

    But first: Warmarama

    SSH, windmills, Imperial Walkers, WMH, Toy Soldiers, Tie Fighters, Cherry Pickers, High Knees, Butt Kicks, Lafayette Night Clubs.

    Bumper mosey to pick up coupons and return for:

    Tha Thang. Just a Musical Dora.

    Partnered up, then during each song, one partner knocks out the exercise, while the other uses assigned MOT to the far sidewalk, then moseys back. Flapjack, continue. Race to get 200 reps per exercise before the song ends.

    The Songs, the Exercises, the MOT:

    1: First, Merkins, Crab Walk

    2. Seconds, V-Ups, Run a lap

    3: 3rd Stone from the Sun, Curls, Bear Crawl

    4. Positively 4th Street, Tyson Merkins, Lap

    5: A Fifth of Beethoven, American Hammers, Dragon Walk

    6: 6th Avenue Heartache, BBS, Lunge Walk

    7: Seventh Son, Wheezy Jeffersons, Crawl Bear

    8: Henry the VII, Burpees, Sprint

    It was basically impossible to get to 200 on any of these, but I felt we needed an unobtainable goal. Threw that one long Hendrix song in there just to give a glimmer of hope, and to fulfill the prophecy of “that Charlottesville hipster hookah lounge” music.

    Final Thang: Identify the songs from the beatdown. Popeye and Honeysuckle, as usual, took care of the more obscure songs. White Meat ID’d 7th Son, and Yankee Jeaux ID’d Henry VII… man those geezers know their music. (Popeye had been figuring out “Positively 4th Street” for about 2 rounds, but upon returning from his Dragon Walk he had figured it out. The man has the heart of a warrior, and the mind of a Spotify).

    3rd Stone from the Sun was the only song not identified by the PAX, so we only had to do one burpee. It was fairly obvious at this point that the songs all included ordinal numbers.

    Then just 2 minutes of Mary to get us to that sweet Sugar Mill Whistle.

    COT

    FNG became Doubtfire.

    Animal from Honeysuckle to Lil Cuz.

    Blue Tube from Wet Tap to Honeysuckle.

    Wet Tap prayed us out.

    SYITG,

    AB

  • Free Solo Episode VIII: There’s No Hope – from America’s Best

    A Long Time Ago, in an AO not so far away…

    It is a period of civil war.
    Rebel HIMs, feigning ignorance
    of the rules from prior beatdowns, have
    angered for the last time
    the frustrated Q.

    During the beatdown, the
    PAX managed to start by
    pretending to not understand the Q’s
    ultimate weapon, the
    FREE SOLO, a carefully-crafted
    beatdown with enough
    power to destroy an entire
    planet.

    Flummoxed by their lack of musical knowledge
    and self-awareness, Popeye
    stepped in and identified
    most songs, while the others
    were content to plod on
    through the exercises,
    continuing to climb that hill…

    The instructions were simple. The rules were the same. Nobody cared.

    While the PAX knocks out some exercises, the solo from a song is played. The song has some connection to one person in the PAX. One of three things affects the next thang:
    1. The person for whom the song tolls identifies the song during the solo. If this occurs, the PAX simply take a lap around the Civic Center.
    2. Someone else in the PAX identifies the song during the solo. The consequence of this is a MOT up the hill without a coupon, and 3 burpees at the top. Mosey back down.
    3. Nobody identifies the song, and the consequence is MOT with coupon up the hill, and manmakers at the top. Rifle carry back down.

    The exercises:
    1.Mountain Climbers- bear (block)crawl
    2.Jump squats – murder bunnies/bunny hops
    3. Merkins- El Capitan
    4.Curls – carioke/bricklayers
    5.Half WW3 sit-ups – inchworm(blockees)
    6.V-ups – killer Roos/broad jump
    7.Burpees- crab walk (with/without coupon)

    While the instructions were clearly stated, the consensus amongst the PAX was “What is going on?”
    After several rounds, most of the PAX halfway understood. I guess some people are visual learners.

    First song: a cover of Take on Me, by the band Goose. Months ago, YHC added this to a beatdown and made a point to tell Goose directly about the song, the cover, and the band. But Goose had to be Goose, and feigned ignorance so we could do more work.
    Another Song: Safety Dance by Men Without Hats. Safety Valve has been lulled into thinking if it’s not about flying, it’s not about him. And this song was recorded twenty years before he was born.
    Cherub Rock for Honeysuckle was identified by Popeye, and eventually someone knew it was for HS.
    Lawyers, Guns, and Money by Warren Zevon – unknown to everyone somehow.
    Honeysuckle texted me months ago to suggest that “All of My Love” by Led Zeppelin sure does sound a lot like “Olive, My Love.” Genius. It was obviously much too dark in the gloom to see how much everyone loved this Popeye reference. In space, no one can hear you smirk.
    “Once Bitten, Twice Shy” by Great White… Popeye quickly ID’d it, mentioning “This band is fire.” Too soon, Popeye, too soon.
    And so, amidst the confusion, Popeye and Honeysuckle identified a few songs, although nobody identified their own. But really, nobody was expected to.

    Like tic-tac-toe and Global Thermonuclear War, there’s no way to win this game. You’re not supposed to play it. That’s why the reward for actually succeeding is just running a lap. That may be exercise, but not as we know it. In the words of NORAD supercomputer WOPR, “A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.”

    And yet somehow Paradox identified Dr. Feelgood almost immediately. Somebody make him an international incident negotiator… or at least put him on my Applebees Trivia Night team.

    Thang 2: Lighting Round –
    We do burpees during a mountain-themed song until someone names the song (then they change the exercise)

    Song1: Mountain Song (Jane’s addiction)
    Popeye identified it I think; not sure if he changed anything.

    Song 2: Running Up That Hill (a Deal With God). Identified by Honeysuckle (although he didn’t realize it). Changed exercise to Freddy Mercurys , then we El Capitan’ed up the hill for the remainder. When YHC changed the lyric to “ lunging up that hill,” Pope quickly added “Make a deal with quads.”
    Good, Pope. I can feel your schmaltz. Strike me down with all your humor and your journey toward the Dad Jokes will be complete!

    Song 3: There is a Mountain by Donovan. Crowd favorite to end it.

    Mosey to flag for COT

    Thanks for putting up with it, my dudes. Always an honor to lead.

    -AB

    …and don’t worry—nobody will have to try and figure this game out again. For better or for worse, sometimes a trilogy should remain a trilogy.

  • Free Solo, Episode VIII: There’s No Hope – from America’s Best

    A Long Time Ago, in an AO not so far away…

    It is a period of civil war.
    Rebel HIMs, feigning ignorance
    of the rules from prior beatdowns, have
    angered for the last time
    the frustrated Q.

    During the beatdown, the
    PAX managed to start by
    pretending to not understand the Q’s
    ultimate weapon, the
    FREE SOLO, a carefully-crafted
    beatdown with enough
    power to destroy an entire
    planet.

    Flummoxed by their lack of musical knowledge
    and self-awareness, Popeye
    stepped in and identified
    most songs, while the others
    were content to plod on
    through the exercises,
    continuing to climb that hill…

    The instructions were simple. The rules were the same. Nobody cared.
    While the PAX knocks out some exercises, the solo from a song is played. The song has some connection to one person in the PAX. One of three things affects the next thang:
    1. The person for whom the song tolls identifies the song during the solo. If this occurs, the PAX simply take a lap around the Civic Center.
    2. Someone else in the PAX identifies the song during the solo. The consequence of this is a MOT up the hill without a coupon, and 3 burpees at the top. Mosey back down.
    3. Nobody identifies the song, and the consequence is MOT with coupon up the hill, and manmakers at the top. Rifle carry back down.

    The exercises:
    Mountain Climbers- bear (block)crawl
    Jump squats – murder bunnies/bunny hops
    Merkins- El Capitan
    Curls – carioke/bricklayers
    Half WW3 sit-ups – inchworm(blockees)
    V-ups – killer Roos/broad jump
    Burpees- crab walk (c coupon

    While the instructions were clearly stated, the consensus amongst the PAX was “What is going on?”
    After several rounds, most of the PAX halfway understood. I guess some people are visual learners.
    First song: a cover of Take on Me, by the band Goose. Months ago, YHC added this to a beatdown and made a point to tell Goose directly about the song, the cover, and the band. But Goose had to be Goose, and feigned ignorance so we could do more work.
    Another Song: Safety Dance by Men Without Hats. Safety Valve has been lulled into thinking if it’s not about flying, it’s not about him. And this song was recorded twenty years before he was born.
    Cherub Rock for Honeysuckle was identified by Popeye, and eventually someone knew it was for HS.
    Lawyers, Guns, and Money by Warren Zevon – unknown to everyone somehow.
    Honeysuckle texted me months ago to suggest that “All of My Love” by Led Zeppelin sure does sound a lot like “Olive, My Love.” Genius. It was obviously much too dark in the gloom to see how much everyone loved this Popeye reference. In space, no one can hear you smirk.
    “Once Bitten, Twice Shy” by Great White… Popeye quickly ID’d it, mentioning “This band is fire.” Too soon, Popeye, too soon.
    And so, amidst the confusion, Popeye and Honeysuckle identified a few songs, although nobody identified their own. But really, nobody was expected to.

    Like tic-tac-toe and Global Thermonuclear War, there’s no way to win this game. You’re not supposed to play it. That’s why the reward for actually succeeding is just running a lap. That may be exercise, but not as we know it. In the words of NORAD supercomputer WOPR, “A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.”

    And yet somehow Paradox identified Dr. Feelgood almost immediately. Somebody make him an international incident negotiator… or at least put him on my Applebees Trivia Night team.

    Thang 2: Lighting Round –
    We do burpees during a mountain-themed song until someone names the song (then they change the exercise)
    Song1: Mountain Song (Jane’s addiction)
    Popeye identified it I think; not sure if he changed anything.
    Song 2: Running Up That Hill (a Deal With God). Identified by Honeysuckle (although he didn’t realize it). Changed exercise to Freddy Mercurys , then we El Capitan’ed up the hill for the remainder. When YHC changed the lyric to “ lunging up that hill,” Pope quickly and even more wittily added “ make a deal with quads.”
    …Good, Pope. I can feel your schmaltz. I am defenseless. Strike me down with all your humor, and your journey towards the Dad Jokes will be complete!
    Song 3: There is a Mountain by Donovan. Crowd favorite to end it.

    Mosey to flag for COT
    Thanks for putting up with it, my dudes. Always an honor to lead.

    AB

    And don’t worry—nobody will have to try and figure this game out again. For better or worse, sometimes a trilogy should remain a trilogy.

  • Bears, Monkeys, and Donkeys at the Mothership – from Triple Shift

    With Thanksgiving on my mind, I wanted to make sure that the NOLA Pax knew how thankful I was to Q the Mothership. My watch shows 6:30 am and I launch into my necessary disclaimer and go over the 5 core principles of F3. From there we head to the Peristyle for the low slow warm ups with the form police out in full force.
    WARMARAMA
    10 Squats, 10 Merkins, 10 Peter Parkers, 10 Shoulder Taps, 10 Tie Fighters (forward and backward) with 15 Burpees. Everything was in a slow cadence and the form police had to issue citations for not getting past 90 degrees on the squats. Not being in a plank position for the Peter Parkers and Shoulder Taps (Saw too much A Frame going on) and not getting the chest to the ground on the Merkins and Burpees.

    THE THANG
    I inform the PAX of my desire to go around the great lawn on the pavers by performing the Gorilla, Bear Crawl and Crawl Bear. Specifically, we start on the pavers in front of the small monument and we are always facing north. We proceed to Monkey to the right all the way to the covered structure. From there, we bear crawl north to the covered structure. Once we reach that location, we Monkey to the left to the covered structure then Crawl Bear south to the covered structure. Once we reach the last covered structure, we Monkey to the right to where we started. That routine took about 20-25 minutes.
    We cross the street to the use the benches in front of the Peristyle for 10 low slow Bulgarian Split Squats (each leg), 10 low slow dips and some reverse plank time with our feet on the benches and shoulders making contact with the ground.
    With time running short I lead the Pax in the JackAss Webb routine which is a one burpee / 2 donkey kick exercise. We do 5 burpees IC /10 DK, 7 burpees IC /14 DK and 10 burpees IC / 20 DK.
    Finish up the last 10 minutes with stretching.

    COT
    Had the countoff, namerama and shared the importance of being grateful not just thankful. Being thankful was more of a thought or feeling while being grateful compels us to action. Specifically, gratitude is incomplete if there is no expression of your gratefulness. So, this Thanksgiving season, show your gratitude by expressing it in a concrete way. Maybe, sign up to Q a workout to express your gratitude for F3 and what it has done in and through your life.

  • Wednesdays at JPAX are Back!!! – from Boo-Boo

    A party of three showed for the compound movement, block beatdown that’s been delayed several times due to a lack of attendance on Wednesdays.

    A mosey to JPAS for a warmup, which included Abe Vigodas, Grass Grabbers, Mountain Man Poopers, Thai Fighters, Mountain Climbers, Merkins, the Kenner Bra famous Parker Peter Peter Parkers, and so on.

    Next, to the Possum Nest for coupons; then to the ramp of the loading dock.

    THE THANG:

    Man Makers x 5

    Scantron (formerly known as Bernie Sanders) 1/4 way up the ramp, run back to your brick; Scantron halfway up the ramp, run back to your brick; Scantron to the top of the ramp, run back to your brick

    
• Man Makers x 5; Thrusters (squat press) x 10

    Scantron shuttle run

    
• Man Makers x 5; Thrusters (squat press) x 10; KB swings x 15

    Scantron shuttle run

    
• Man Makers x 5; Thrusters (squat press) x 10; KB swings x 15; skull crushers x 20 sqcurls

    Scantron shuttle run

    
• Man Makers x 5; Thrusters (squat press) x 10; KB swings x 15; skull crushers x 20; sqcurls x 25

    Scantron shuttle run

    
• Man Makers x 5; Thrusters (squat press) x 10; KB swings x 15; skull crushers x 20; sqcurls x 25; elf on shelf x 30

    Scantron shuttle run

    Return the coupons, mosey to the flag, and COT. It’s great to be back and always an honor to lead! Boo-Boo out!