F3 New Orleans

Category: Backblasts

  • Down With Disease – from Yankee Joe

    Prologue

    YHC arrived at the Peltch at 5:30 am on Saturday morning. We often say it was in “The Gloom,” but this morning took it to a new place. As he rolled out the tractor trailer truck tire onto the little league infield, he couldn’t help but notice how dark…and still it was. No sound of birds, no cars, no breeze in the pines. Now, YHC isn’t one to get all spooked out, but it was still a bit eerie.

    As he started hammering in the staked signs with various exercises, a heavy fog started to roll in. Not a light misting, but legit fog…and it was legit rolling, he looked around and realized that the signs I had just put in all looked like graveyard markers. Now, YHC isn’t one to get all skittish, but man it was getting weird.

    After one last trip to the awesome, cool, masculine minivan to get BAPS, YHC started walking back to the field. It was then that he looked up and through the haze, saw a hearse sitting in the thunder dome. How had he not noticed it before? Now YHC isn’t one to get all freaked out, but damn this was all starting to get…well…something.

    YHC shook it off and with 20 minutes left before the beatdown, decided to hit the men’s room. As YHC entered the bathroom to see about a fudge pop, the lights flickered. C’mon Yankee…stop being so dramatic. While sitting on the silver torpedo shell, and coming to the realization that this would be an underwhelming dumpelstiltskin, the lights turned off…completely. No sound of the door which had squealing hinges. The lights were off, YHC in the dark, quarter loaf barely pinched.

    And then, out of the darkness, as if radiating inward from the walls, the still air cold as ice, I heard the breathy, chilling voice…it said…“BEWAREEEEEEE….He’s a cheater…doing three merkins at the bottom of a buuuurpeeeeeee doesn’t count as a burpee aaaaand threeeeeee merkinssssss.”

    Now YHC isn’t one to hammer a prairie dog back in the hole, but at this, I screamed like a pickleballer and ran out into the darkness to find the PAX.

    —————————–
    YHC was both thrilled and concerned to see what would eventually make up 19 PAX at the Peltch. The beatdown had been designed for 8 to 10 PAX based on recent attendance rates. Considering all of the whining, wailing, and gnashing of teeth about doing hard things, YHC just assumed Houma-Thibodaux would be flush in dutch ovens that morning. YHC was wrong. Real wrong. 14 of 20 BYITG participants showed with the Hunt for Red Jurptober repping 100% attendance. However, I’m sure if you look back at the records for Arthur Anderson, those folks showed up to work on a regular basis too. Apparently, immorality requires solidarity.

    With six 2.0’s including a Honeysuckle duo – WELCOME Yelnats and Ewok, YHC started getting excited about how the chaos would play out over the next hour.

    —————————-

    Warmarama
    Side straddle hops
    Windmills 15 ct
    Arm circles forward 15 ct
    Arm circles backward 15 ct
    Cherry pickers 15 ct
    Self love
    High knees 15 ct
    Willy Mays Hayes
    High Knees
    Butt Kicks

    The men headed to the first field by the Apparatus to knock out the three required Jurps. The crowd was so big that the grumbling sounded like if you packed 50 constipated walruses in a locker room shower playing Adele in the background. But we got through it. During the jump squat portion, I saw some very interesting form emerge. Also during that time, it came to light that Tana had betrayed YHC to Paradox during an ongoing investigation. Did you ever see What Lies Beneath? Well, it has nothing to do with this scenario.

    We moseyed over to the baseball field and for the remaining 30 minutes, jumped into the fray.

    ——————————
    The Setup

    *Field set up with six stations around center point.
    *Two stations set 15 yards from center.
    *Two stations set 20 yards from center.
    *Two stations set 30 yards from center.
    *Each station represents a different BYITG exercise.

    All PAX start in center, do 5 burpees then tire flip (tractor trailer size) or zombie crawl to 15 yard station, 5 burpees then bear crawl to 20 yard station, or 5 burpees and bear crawl to 30 yard station. For any station, do 20 reps of exercise associated with that station. Run back, do 5 burpees, then head to the next station of your choice. AMRAP until time.

    Rules:
    1) there cannot be more than TWO Pax at any given station at one time. If there are already two pax at your desired station after you finish your 5 burpees, you MUST immediately choose another station and bear crawl to it. NO loitering.

    2) You cannot do the same station twice in a row unless you are forced to go there for lack of options…see Rule 1.

    Stations (20 reps each):
    BBS (12 yards)
    V-up (12 yds)
    Merkins (20 yards)
    Bonnie’s (20 yds)
    Coupon curls (30 yds)
    Man makers (30 yds)
    —————————————
    Strategy (if you can call it that):

    The 12-yard stations were tempting because you could get to them quickly, knock out the relatively quick rep exercise and get back. That said, the tire flip or zombie crawl transport was hard and time consuming. The 20 yard stations were the money makers. Merkins, each worth a point, were quick reps and not excruciatingly far for a bear crawl. Bonnie’s on the other hand were far more time consuming IF you had good form. At 30 yards, the coupon curl was a trap. First, a 30 yard bear crawl straight up sucks, but to reward yourself with half-point curls for a station total of 10 points didn’t justify the time. The biggest ROI was from the man maker station at three points per rep.

    It was here that Montana outdid himself. WIth three men at the man maker station, Tana should have chosen another station. He didn’t, he began lunge walking slowly toward the man maker station with YHC loudly chastising him to turn around. Instead, he lunge walked all the way to the man-makers then headed to the coupon curl station and proceeded to do…MAN MAKERS. By this time, YHC was losing his mind. Like Bob Knight, YHC tossed his man making coupon, yelling in a high pitched voice that Tana wasn’t playing fair and calling him a doo doo head.

    COT and Goose prayed us out. We welcomed Yelnats and Ewok. The PAX got a real treat in seeing Dumbledore and family walk up. He got damn near a standing ovation. It was cool. Dumbledore, you are missed.

    All in all, the PAX earned a total of 10,000+ points. It was a wonky set up, but due to being in close proximity, the chatter was epic. I had a lot of fun. Thank you for the opportunity to lead.

    BYITG,

    Yankee Jerk

    And…stay from that Peltch bathroom. Here, there be monsters.

  • Jurptown Rides at Dawn – from Goose

    After absolutely zero interactions or responses to YHC’s hype on GroupMe last night, low numbers were expected this morning, especially after Yankee Jeaux’s thrasher on Saturday. YHC is starting to see a pattern of slim Mondays after tough Saturdays (IPC last month really nailed this home). So, Pope and I weren’t surprised to see a lone, very brightly lit truck waiting for us in the parking lot at 5:12 am. Thankfully, per usual, the PAX did not disappoint, and two more fancy trucks made their way in before the warmup was over; and thankfully, they were both inhabitants of Jurptown, USA. The ever-stalwart Safety Valve and the ever-jurping Lil’ Cuz made it a five man crew with Wet Tap and Pope repping “We Ride at Dawn” with their newly minted headbands.

    The usual warmups with lots of reps and with added high knees and butt kicks still weren’t enough to break through the soreness and stiffness from Saturday, but YHC had hopes that the first Thang could handle it.

    Thang 1: Merkin Mile
    The Merkin Mile feels like that one girl that every guy talked about for a while in 7th grade. But, after a few months, when they realized that she had already gone through “changes” and was merely annoyed by them, they just found other things to talk about, like Zelda or murder bunnies. But, with the opportunity to both loosen up and rack up a quick 150 points, it was time to resurrect an old faithful. Mile loop with 25 merkins at each quarter-mile. We stayed together as a group, just like at the 7th grade dance.

    Thang 2: 11’s. Twice.
    The first set of 11’s were in response to the mathematical reality that YHC learned on Saturday: manmakers rack up a ton of points. And, knowing that Valve and YHC share a deep love for manmakers, why not stack up 55 of them in 15 minutes? Thankfully, YHC had the wherewithal to put the manmakers first, starting with 10 and working down, otherwise we may have lost our morale for good. So, it was manmakers at the flag and v-ups at the opposite sidewalk, running there and nurring back.
    The second set brought sweet relief from the manmakers, but that relief died a quick, violent death after just one round: Bonnie Blairs at the flag and curls (2:1) at the sidewalk, carioca both ways. Bonnies to carioca and then back to carioca after not enough time curling to catch your breath was a deadly combination. 10 minutes was not enough to finish this one, though we got close.

    COT and Cuz prayed us out, but we had some jurping to do. All 5 stayed through the first round (a little slower on the back end of a beatdown than on the front end), and Tap had to roll, but the rest of us pushed through three more so we could be done for the day. And, no one wants to jurp alone.

    Incredible work by these manly men this morning. Thanks for being willing to get out of bed and post! It was a point feast, and these fellas earned every one of them.

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • Fog? Smoke? What is it? – from Waterpik

    It seemed like a perfect start to the Halloween season. A heavy, spooky fog mixed with smoke from marsh fires in the area greeted the PAX at the marsh, making visibility low. Cool temps, 60 degrees, it was peaceful on the streets of old mandeville.

    Brief warmup, then hit the playground for 5 sets of pull-ups.

    Main entree today was 4 corners. Mosey around the block stopping at each intersection for 10 merkins, 10 squats, 10 core exercises (your choice). Rinse and repeat until the closing bell.

    Announcements: Russos Halloween themed beatdown on the Lakefront Saturday. Wear a costume! Also, Bushwackers camp out in Mississippi on November 4th.

    Thanks to moby dick for praying us out.

  • Not Quite Sure What We’re Doing, But Your Legs Will Pay the Price – from Bushwacker

    YHC saw an empty Q sheet and signed up late in the game. There was every intention of putting something creative and challenging together after finally getting a spare 30 minutes, but alas, the A/C started acting up and stole away the golden hour of beatdown planning. And thus, starting with an idea for a lot of squats, it never got much further….

    WARMORAMA

    IC x10: SSH, High knees, Butt Kicks, Windmills, ….

    THANG

    After lunge walking to the nearest fire hydrant along the lakefront, the PAX did x10 IC(20actual;) Squats. Continuing sprinting, skipping, and moseying, repeating x10 IC Squats at each hydrant , the guys partnered up for some B L P I…no no, B P L M… ah yes, B L I M P S. 50 Burpees, 100 Lunges (2is1), 200 Imperial Walkers, 100 Merkins, 200 Penguins (2is1) and 50 Squats. After all of that was sort of figured out and finished, 2 lines of Indian Running took off for the flag. However, somewhere along the way one line began to crumble, and what remained merged to forge ahead (like Waterpiks full litter-pick up sprint that left even the swiftest of us in the dust). Some circling back for the 6 and Mary got underway.

    MARY

    LBCs, LMCs, Flutter Kicks, Freddy Mercuries and 100s

    COT

    Count, Name, and FNG naming. Welcome Jenny 98! F3 camping trip Saturday, November 4, see Slack. Mathlete prayed us out.

    We all await our honorary Northshore Nant’an Hog’s Breath’s release of of details on the upcoming F3 Northshore’s 3 Fs Competition throughout the month of November. Stay tuned to Slack for rules, point structure, and all the ways us mere mortals may FINALLY be able to beat Grundy at something!

    Many thanks for following my lead, guys. If you did it right, you should be in at least half as much pain as I am at the moment!

  • Casino games – from Fracsac

    8 pax showed up and got stronger at the Mothership. Here’s what went down:

    Mosey to the peristyle for a warmup consisting of regular stuff.

    Mosey to the great lawn for some BLIMPS using the corners as the markers. Mosey and lung walks were MoT.

    Partner up and play some casino games. Run to opposite corner, 5 burpees, then back to middle. Share a card number selected with non partner to keep in honest. Add cards together and team closest to 21 w/o going over wins the round and chooses an exercise. 4 rounds total.

    Ring of Fire with squats and ‘mericans

    Finish off with 21s doing LBCs and jump squats.

    CoT

    Coffeteria

    SYITG

  • Dora on the Rocks again – from Kenna Brah

    Warm (In Cadence, except when it isn’t)
    Fwd Arm Circles 20x
    5 Merkins
    Rev Arm Circles 20x
    5 Burpees
    Seal Claps 20 X
    Mtn Man Poopers 10 X
    Imperial Walkers 10x

    Mosey with Rocks to Parking Lot
    Dora – Timer – One Pax runs to Lit Light pole and back, after each set , then advance to next tree
    100 Curls
    100 Rows
    100 OHP
    100 Chest Press

    Semi Coordinated Side Shuffle R/L

    Do a little F3 Lingo talk on Accelerating and measuring against a standard
    Perform 40 hand release merkins within 2 Min is one standard

    One more Dora Rd
    100 BB Situp – Timer is 25 4 CT Flutter Kick with Rock.

    Mosey back to rock pile-
    Ring of fire with Shoulder Taps
    All Gore for way too long, sprint back to “flag”

  • Keeping the Momentum – from Mahatma

    10/17 heard the callout of WarEagle to pax to keep the Momentum of West Metairie area beatdown going. Saw a need to fill the Q – called Minuterice and got his hard commit on my drive home Tue night. Game plan was set in motion to create a beatdown that minimized running yet provided enough cardio to think you did.

    Warm up with
    Scantron x 2
    Windmills
    SSH
    Mnt Man Poopers
    Mnt Climbers
    Shoulder Taps

    Went to the playground
    4 on the bars holding a pull up with chin over the top
    2 did 5 dips
    Rotate through until all completed
    2 rounds

    Mosey to the blocks
    6 stations:
    High Plank
    Jump over burpees
    Low plank
    Jump over burpees
    Straight out curls 25#
    TriCep Extensions 25#
    Rotate through with 5 burpees as the timer
    2 Rounds

    Line up for Indian Run to the theater ramp – pax in the back farmer carry to the front place blocks wide enough for pax line to run through with last pax picking them up running to the front – continue to target location

    Now 5 stations
    Dips
    Box jumps
    Decline Merkins
    Incline Merkins
    Farmer Carry blocks to the top of the ramp and down (timer)

    Rotate through 1 time

    Intro of some new Mary: all below to cadence of different lengths – mainly 2 to 3 reps past the moaning.

    Dr W’s (not new to all)
    Elevated V’s – in the sitting position hands behind head raise legs to touch feet
    Same position – alternate left hand Tks rht foot then flip flop
    Same position raise hands straight over head – bring knees to upward tuck while bring hands down to tap knee
    Kick stand position brings knees up to chest then extend out gas pump to a V

    2 rounds of Indian Push ups with crucible finisher

    Indian block run back

    Repeat Mary from above
    Repeat pull up hang with dips from above

    One round of 3 on 3 block drag

    COT

  • 11’s at the A1C – from Einstein

    Muggy 65 degree morning for the usual minus Moby at the A1C. Warm-ups: As always, an extra long warm-u Round Robin style. We decided as a group that 11’s was the workout this morning. Burpees and suicide squats with running down the ramp, and side shuffle on the way back up. After that, it was a Round Robin Mary. Dark Wing prayed us out with intentions to Fletch’s brother who recently was diagnosed with prostate cancer. Bushwackers camping trip on 11/4, see slack for the information.

  • Second verse, (almost) same as the first – from Russo

    65 degrees this morning, so warmer than earlier this week, but overall not so bad. Is it too much to ask to be below 60 for October? Oh right, south LA, where the humidity flows like the mighty Mississippi! At least until saltwater intrusion became a thing.

    Warmup – 10x IC
    SSHs
    Toe touches
    Torso twists
    Cherry pickers
    Grass grabbers
    Self love

    Thang
    Same as Granny’s earlier this week, with the Walls of Jericho (7 count of seven exercises 7 times around the Trailhead, stopping at benches, stairs, stage, garbage cans, path, etc.), with a couple modifications thrown in.

    – Freak Nastys
    – BSSs
    – Suicide squats
    – Merkins
    – Monkey humpers
    – Donkey kicks
    – Calf raises

    Mary – all 10x IC
    Crunches, Hello Dolly’s Crunchy frogs, American hammers, Gas pumps

    COT, Name-o-Rama, and prayer wrapped us up. Good chatter today involving the Saints and lowered expectations, the inverted yield curve, Hawaii, and insurance. We again came close to solving the world’s problems, but we’ll make that our goal next week.

  • Looked Better on Paper – from Goose

    YHC felt pretty proud of the continued creativity necessary to keep jurps and points rolling after almost three full weeks of beatdowns. And this morning was a particular point of pride because YHC was going to introduce the PAX to a classic routine that was a huge part of YHC’s F3 foundation while also racking up an obscene amount of points. At least, that was the plan.
    Warmup brought a welcomed razzing from YJ (the now-usual absence of he and Dox have made for some unusually quiet warmups). Then, we grabbed coupons out of the truck and made a ring around Enron (at the second sidewalk). He declined to be the center of attention, saying something about his tempo squat form, and we commenced three rounds of jurps. But, since YHC was Q-ing, the whole group had to nurse a rotator cuff injury, so we replaced the 10 groiners with 10 Bonnie Blairs (2:1). It was tough, and it definitely took longer than 10 minutes; a good bit longer.
    YHC took the opportunity to fit in a quarter-mile lap around the building while the anchors finsihed the last round to Pat Benatar’s “We Belong” cranking out of the impeccable sounds of the Oontz. And, we needed to keep half the PAX from building up points while they waited for the rest to finish–especially the ones not on YHC’s team.
    The time had come to share the foundational gift of the Classic Deck of Death. With the dawn of the newer F3 cards with a different exercise on each, the classic routine has fallen deep into the dark middle range of the Exicon. Well, not today! Today each suit represented an exercise, and it would remain that way for the duration–so, only four exercises, and the number on the card drawn would be the number of reps. But, the face cards are bad news–they mean high reps and a harder version of the exercise of their suit. The suits were assigned as follows:

    Hearts: Merkins; Face cards: 20 shoulder-tap merkins
    Clubs: V-ups; Face cards: 20 X-factors (lying spread eagle, hand goes up to meet opposite foot, like a half v-up)
    Spades: Bonnie Blairs; Face cards: 20 Goosies
    Diamonds: Curls (but 2x the rep numbers); Face cards: 40 curls
    All Aces: lap around the building

    You can imagine why YHC would have figured on racking up points, especially since YHC remembers getting almost through an entire deck during beatdowns on the Northshore. But, they didn’t do three rounds of Bonnie Blair Jurpees and a quarter-mile lap before starting. And, somehow it took an average of 30 seconds for each PAX to turn over a card, stare at it like it they were having to decipher some sort of ancient language, read it out to the group, and then half the PAX ask for him repeat it loudly because they couldn’t hear it over Chicago’s “25 or 6 to 4”. So, we only got through about a third of the deck and one other Ace, which brought the total up to a measly half mile.
    Total numbers of reps were:
    -3 jurps
    -71 Merkins
    -59 Bonnie Blairs
    -55 V-ups (2:1 x-factors counted as 1)
    -78 Curls
    And, for those who ran a couple more laps after COT, 1 mile.

    YHC appreciated the PAX’s willingness to push through, especially the Bonnies and Goosies, despite the supposed promise of some fun games of chance. (Instead, they got “Just turn over the next card and we’ll do one of four things.”) Honestly, it’s more interesting when you know you’re gonna get through the whole deck, so the torturous cards are comin’…it’s only a matter of time before your luck runs out.

    Announcements, Animal shirt went to the well-deserving Hypotenuse, whose quiet perseverance is admirable, though YHC looks forward to when he starts slinging witty mud at YJ like the rest of us. America’s Best prayed us out.
    Lastly, it was awesome as YHC was driving out to see more than one of the men accompanying the still recovering Smooth around the civic center as he refused to not complete his mile. Proud to be a part of such an awesome crew!

    SYITG,
    Goose