F3 New Orleans

Tag: Barely Legal

  • Run For the Roses It Was Not

    With the rain clouds threatening, and the forecast looking just as ominous, YHC did not know how many PAX would brave the elements for today’s beatdown. Of course, YHC should have known better as 17 men posted on the Mandeville Lakefront despite the rainy, wet conditions. Actually, the rain combined with a nice breeze to cool things off, providing a break from the recent humidity. But of course, mornings like this one are reminders of what it means and feels like to be “alive”, as Maverick alluded to in our closing prayer.

    WARMARAMA

    SSHs, Good Mornings, Torso Twists, High Knees, Butt Kicks, all to about 15 IC

    THANG

    Hat’s off to ZooRich for his imaginative, golf-themed beatdown last Saturday on the Lakefront. From what I hear, it was legendary! With no ideas of Grandeur Dancing around in YHCs very small brain, YHC decided it was time for a downpainment (more on that later) of sorts. After a quick mosey to the east towards RIPS, it was time to circle up for some Al Gore’s (3 sets, about 30 sec hold). Sprinkle in a set of Peter Parker’s and Parker Peter’s and it was time to mosey eastward again. Before turning up Lamarque St. to head to the Milestone Marsh, the PAX hit the seawall for some: Freak Nasties, Derkins, and Step-Ups.

    Sweat pouring, the PAX headed up Lamarque St. circling up at each intersection for some exercises: Flutter Kicks, Hello Dollies, Mission Impossible, Crunchy Frogs. The neighbors must have wondered, “who are these idiots, laying in the street while its raining?”

    MILESTONE MARSH

    Circle up at midcourt for a quick Merkin Wave, then down to Chill Cut with nearly each man giving a 10 count before recovering. Before heading back to the Lakefront, YHC must have been having a flashback to a recent Bushwacker-led beatdown at the Marsh: 10 Burpees.

    Indian Run back to the Lakefront with the last man dropping for 2 merkins before sprinting to the front of the line.

    Back at the Lakefront, YHC realized he had forgotten to recognize the master 10 Burpees. After all, Bushwacker borrowed it from somebody, don’t we all do that? Yes we do; so hat’s off to Coconuts, the master of 10 Burpees at the Milestone Marsh. Here’s hoping to a return to health, my friend!

    Circle Up on Lakeshore Dr. one last time for a rapid fire series of Bear Crawls, Bunny Hops, Shuffles, Back Pedals, and Sprints back and forth to the seawall. For good measure, sprinkle in some merkins, box jumps and freak nasties.

    With no time to spare, it was time to head back to the flag for Count off, Name o rama and COT. Welcome FNG Hansel, one of Zoolander’s neighbors (how many neighbors does he have?) to F3 Northshore. I hope your experience will be as powerful as mine.

    Thanks to Maverick for praying us out.

    Thanks men for braving the elements this morning. Thanks for following my lead, despite the lack of creativity for the beatdown. I heard that no one paid the green fee at the Zoorich Classic last Saturday, so good citizens as we are, I felt F3 Northshore had to make a little downpainment with interest.

  • May Day

    At the zenith of the Cold War, the Soviet Union and its satellite states held May Day parades every May 1st to demonstrate their military might for the Free World to contemplate. Fortunately for those of us old enough to remember school time nuclear war drills in which we learned laughably to take shelter under our desks, the threat never materialized. That didn’t stop the Northshore Cold Warriors from celebrating May Day this morning, however.

    After a warmup of Seal Jacks, Good Mornings, SSHs, Windmills and Imperial Walker Squats, the PAX mosied over to Bedrock for

    19 Romanian Deadlifts with a nice sized rock

    then to the Justice Center for

    19 Bulgarian Split Squats each leg and 89 Russian Twists IC

    all to celebrate 1989, the year the Berlin Wall crumbled.

    The PAX then mosied to the front of the Justice Center to partner up for some BOMBS; that is, 50 burpees, 100 OH hand claps, 150 merkins, 200 big boy sit ups, and 250 air squats…one partner performing exercises while the other ran up the ramp and down the stairs to relieve his partner.

    Appropriately, the PAX finishing first performed isometric Wall sits instead of planks.

    Next, we made our way to the Veterans Memorial for a plank parade, lateral plank walking the Memorial semi circle there and back.

    Back to The Gipper, who certainly played his part in the collapse of the Evil Empire, to close things out with a countorama, nameorama and prayer.

    Happy May Day men and God Bless America!

  • Gipper It

    It was said that Ronal Reagan loved jelly beans, and kept a jar of them on his desk in the oval office.

    Strolling up to the A.O., looking up at the statue of R.R., one has to wonder if all of the carnuaba wax in those jelly beans contibuted to….

    Anyways, it was a beautiful post-Easter day to work off the candy consumption. And here is how it went:

    Warm-up: all 20xIC; toe-touches, good mornings, imperial walkers, arm circles, ss hops, high knees, seal jacks, butt kicks, smurf jacks

    Mosey to justice center parking

    Lunge walk, backwards halfway, then sprint the other half…repeat to the upper deck.

    For the main event: we did 10 burpees, 10 merkins, 10 sit-ups, sprint 300 feet. Repeat in decending order 9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1. For a total of 55 burpees, 55 merkins, 55 sit-ups, and 9 sprints.

    Mosey to the N.E. corner of the upper deck, do an exercise-then run a loop across the deck-down the stairs-then up the ramp – repeat four times.

    Mosey back to the flag. Moby strolls up with his pet cat

    Bush Wacker prays us out.

    And, welcome Cowbell, hope you enjoy the Northshore PAX

    postscript; Jelly Belly makes an interesting assortment of flavored jelly beans – even a coconut one.

  • The Millennial Beatdown

    Who knew that a workout titled “The Millennial” would actually be difficult? One would assume that given the reputation of Millennials, this would be the workout equivalent of watching Netflix. That being every 5 minutes someone asks “are we still working out”? Instead, we were introduced to a series that put the PAX and YHC into survival mode.

    But before that we warmed up with (All in cadence):
    1. SSH
    2. High Knees
    3. Butt Kicks
    4. Windmills
    5. Shoulder Series

    We then moseyed to Noah’s Ark (what I think we should call the neutral ground near Rips ever since Hammer’s beatdown) for the main event.

    Like I said before, the workout routine was called “The Millennial” and this is what we had to do. The goal is to get to a total count of 2000 as a team (roughly the time period Millennials were born). 1000 reps of exercises and 1000 meters of running. It turned out the loop around Noah’s Ark is around 350 meters versus 100 and so we ended up running around 3,500 meters. But as demonstrated on Saturday, my counting was not up to even 5th grade levels (as was pointed out by Jose).

    The sequence was the full pax does 100 reps each of a called exercise, then runs a lap back to a point where they gather again for the next called exercise. There were 10 cycles, which would get you to your number of 2,000 (Or 4,500 in our case).

    Millennials are always taking credit for other’s people work so why should the workout be any different? The first nine cycles end when the FIRST person gets to 100. The last cycle, is done together because eventually Millennials need to learn that they have to pull their own weight.

    We started each set with 6 burpees (It was 5 upon initial construction but changed last minute which led to a multiplication error).

    The sets were: 1) Carolina Dry Docks; 2) Squats; 3) Russian Twists; 4) Merkins; 5) Lunges; 6) LBCs; 7) Shoulder Taps; 8) Monkey Humpers; 9) 100s; 10) Burpees (Remaining number to get to 100 after burpees from previous rounds)

    We moseyed back to the flag and arrived at 7:30 on the nose. We circled up and Hammer closed us out.

    Thanks for letting me lead gentlemen. You always make me better!!!

    Over and Out,
    Grundy

  • Easter is Coming

    Having conquered the trail on their trip to the Olympic Park in Conyers, Georgia, a trio of Ragnarians returned to The Gipper this morning for a beat down. Expecting a running adverse Q named Maverick, the PAX were crestfallen to learn that Maverick had taken ill and had roped YHC into “running” the show. Not sure what got into him, but YHC took mercy on the Ragnarians and uncharacteristically kept the running to a relative minimum while focusing on agility, strength and balance instead.

    After a warmup of Imperial Squat Walkers (10x IC), Seal Jacks (20x IC), Windmills (10x IC), Imperial Walkers (20x IC), Toe Touches (10x IC), and SSHs (20x IC), the PAX moseyed over to the Justice Center.

    With a starting line about 30 yards from the Justice Center stairs, the PAX executed the following agility sequences flawlessly: run there and back at 60%; run there at 70% and return walking down the stairs backwards with a back pedal back to the starting line; backpedal there and run 70% back to the start; crossover run there and back both directions; carioca there and bunny hop each stair to the top of the stairs then bunny hop down and carioca back; repeat facing the other direction; shuffle ten yards, reverse direction shuffle for five and then run at 95% to the top of the stairs; and finally repeat facing the opposite direction with a 100% run. (YHC didn’t say there would be NO running, just “not that much”).

    Recovery walk to the side of the Justice Center to partner up for wheelbarrows…out for 20 yards or so then switch up and return.

    Mosey to the front of the Justice Center and circle up for: T Merkins, Nolan Ryans each side, long slow flutter kicks, copperhead Merkins, dynamic side hip planks each side, Freddy Mercury’s, Merkins, jackknives each side and finally A-B-C-D abs, all 10x IC.

    Mosey to Bedrock on our way back to the Shovel Flag for some coupon work. Partner up for torso twists with the coupon one direction for 10x OYO, then opposite direction 10x OYO, then over unders 5x OYO each direction, then rinse and repeat the torso twists.

    Final mosey to The Gipper for the Causeway sobriety balance challenge. A good parlor trick as it is much harder than it appears.

    Countorama, nameorama, and Einstein prayed us out.

    Thanks for letting me lead this morning guys and here’s hoping Maverick, Coconuts, Tanked Up! and Moby Dick conquer their respective illnesses and injuries so they can return to The Gipper soon.

  • MARSH MADNESS

    In honor of the recently completed NCAA Championship, QIC devised the inaugural F3 Northshore Marsh Madness that paid homage to none other than former U of Arkansas head coach, Nolan Richardson, whose teams’ up tempo and intense pressure defensive style was known as “40 Minutes of Hell.”

    With lighting and thunder behind us, the light rain subsiding, and many regulars crushing Ragnar, our group of 7 got started.

    Quick Warmorama around the invisible shovel flag consisted of Sweet 16 x Toe Touches, Side Straddle Hops, Bobby Hurleys, Makhtar N’ Merkins (6 count Makhtar N’Diayes followed by a Merkin). Maverick came in hot at the end of the warm up to round out the Pax of Elite 8.

    Pax moseyed ¾ miles to the Milestone Marsh, home of F3 Northshore’s Monday morning beatdown. Following instruction, Pax partnered up into 4 x 2 man teams at each corner of the court with a basketball. Each team was to complete the following exercises in sequence accumulating to total.

    • 150 x Burpees

    • 300 x Squats

    • 150 x Big Boy Sit Ups

    • 300 x Air Presses

    • 150 x Merkins

    •  300 x Lunges

    Meanwhile, 1 member of each team backpedaled with their basketball to half court, performed a Bobby Hurley, and drove to goal for a shot of his choosing: layup (1 point if sunk), free throw (2 points if sunk), or three point shot (3 points if sunk). Shooters marked their points using the first letter of their F3 name with sidewalk chalk. The competition was to end when the first team completed all exercises and all members of the team planked on the sideline and yelled “Halt!”, but no team was finished by 0715, so QIC called it in respect of time.

    Total team points and individual team member points were tallied. The SW corner represented by Bird and Sparky had the most combined points (81).

    The highest scoring individual from each of the 4 teams were Bird, Stockboy, Toto, and Zoolander. The Final Four were summoned for a 5-shot “Around-the-World” shoot out, while the rest of the Pax lined the 3-point line performing side straddle hops (so as to simulate fans in the stands trying to distract the shooter). After the 4 rounds and sinking 3 of 5 shots, Zoolander emerged as the soon to be never remembered 2019 F3 Northshore Marsh Madness champion! We’ll see if the prestigious title can be defended in a year or so.

    Time was short, so the Pax of Elite 8 moseyed back to the meeting spot.

    Counterama, Nameorama. Welcome FNG Joel who sank 16 three pointers and is now known as Bird.

    QIC prayed us out. Thanks for following my lead today men. See you in the next Gloom.

  • Northshore Convergence – 3 Year Anniversary

    We all come to F3 as individuals, men with our own past and our own unique stories.  But we all share one very similar story, which is the story of our first post to an F3 beatdown.  This story usually involves a little fear, a lot of pain, and in some cases, a splash of merlot.  My story took place at Grandmother’s House (before it had a name), and I can be honest and say it was filled with trepidation: Will I be able to make it through this?  What if I don’t like some of these guys?  Are they going to ask me to lead part of it?  And why the heck am I up so damn early???

    Everyone knows how the story goes – YHC was accepted but quickly pushed to be a better man in all aspects. That impact – an effect felt on all F3 brothers – is what we came together to celebrate on the Lakefront today. F3 has now been thriving and changing men on the Northshore for three years now.

    A few lucky Southshore men arrived early, unaware they’d get roped into a 2 mile pre-thang. Back at the flags (four flags this morning), YHC gave a quick welcome and disclaimer, and we got this thing started:

    Warmorama:

    Three years, three sets of 8-count bodybuilders.  Founding year 2016, so 16 reps of each.  Sprinkled some standard warm-ups in between:

    • 8-count bodybuilders x16 IC
    • SSH, IW’s x20 IC
    • 8-count bodybuilders x16 IC
    • Toe Touches, Windmills x20 IC
    • 8-count bodybuilders x16 IC

    The Thang:

    3 Stations for 3 Years: Every Man Leads

    Leadership is one of the skills F3 hones that YHC is most thankful for. It’s also the thing YHC was most uncomfortable with those first few weeks. These stations were meant to honor the leadership impact that F3 spreads.

    The PAX was split into three groups, with three leaders picked for an impromptu lead at each station. The leader got two minutes to come up with a routine while the rest of the PAX circled up for Peter Parkers x15 IC, Shoulder Taps x15 IC, and Merkins x15 OYO.

    If memory serves, here’s what each leader had us performing:

    Station 1: The Gazebo, led by Sparky Time

    Freak Nasties x10 IC, Step Ups x10 IC (each leg), Squats x10 IC, repeat.

    Station 2: East Swingset Pad, led by Jose 10k

    Squats x10 IC, Jane Fondas x10 IC (each leg), Lunges x10 IC, Monkey Humpers x10 IC.

    Station 3: West Swingset Pad, led by Russo

    Little Manny Crunches x10 IC, Six-Inch Exercise x10 IC, Crunchy Frogs x10 IC. (Pretty sure there was something else in there….)

    Mental and Physical Toughness with Fracsac

    Next up, the baton was passed to Fracsac for a little taste of the Southshore. He told us of his recent Spartan Race with Triple Shift, how challenging it was, and how F3 had prepared him both mentally and physically.  So this next pearl would exemplify both. 

    The physical part was an Indian Run (PAX split into 2 groups), where the man sprinting to the front would yell out an exercise, the PAX would quickly disperse and perform 5 of said exercise (burpees, jump squats, derkins, one-armed merkins, to name a few) before getting back in line and continuing the run.  Halfway through we were stopped for the mental exercise: perform 21 SSH’s, with only the first 10 called out in cadence.  If one man fails to halt at exactly 21, there was a penalty of 30 burpees.  After some mumble chatter about who’s cadence was the correct cadence, we all performed the penalty burpees. The Indian run then headed in the opposite direction, with the same mental exercise waiting at the end of the line – this time 17 SSH and only 6 called in cadence.  Another failure and another 20 burpees were in order.

    Team Races: Pushing Each Other Forward

    YHC took the final pearl with some competitive team exercises. This section was cut short due to time, so we did one quick hopscotch race: the original three teams lined up in plank position, with the last man rising to bunny hop over the rest of his team, and then drop back into plank position. Teams finished once their last man crossed the finish line – the infamous lakefront shaft.

    The two losing teams would need to do a penalty exercise, but the true winning team would never be known because there were some last-second shenanigans on all three teams as they neared the finish line. So we all performed the penalty together: the 8-count exercise known as Absolution.

    Mosey back to the flag, where Shooter led a very abbreviated Mary of planking before we called it.

    COT: Count-o-rama, name-o-rama, naming of an FNG (welcome Stockboy!) and Triple Shift led us in a prayer of thanks.

    Coffetería brought out a few of our injured brothers, with Butt Splice, The Manny, and Tanked Up joining us. T-claps to our Southshore brothers for making it across the pond to make this a true convergence, it wouldn’t be the same without you guys. And t-claps to all the guys who led today, it’s an honor to work beside you men. SYITG.

  • AKA, Patiently-Waiting Penny

    For the nearly three years that we’ve been coming to the Justice Center parking garage, she has been there.  Waiting, presumably, to clock in across the street.  But why two hours before?  Where does she come from?  What is she doing on her phone for two hours?  And why the heck does she leave her car running even in the greatest of weather?

    These questions and many more may never be answered.  And that is as it should be.  For Patiently Waiting Penny (AKA, Smartphone Stalking Suzie, Carbon Monoxide Camille, Facebooking Fanny) is an enigma and should remain one – something for the PAX to ponder as we  shuffle backwards up the parking ramp.  As such, a portion of today’s beatdown was dedicated to our most ardent, yet involuntary, fan.

    Warmorama: 

    Arm circles x15, toe touches x15, IW’s x15, Abe Vigodas x10, air presses x25, SSH’s x20, all IC.

    The Thang:

    Started with a mosey to the Taj, to do a riff on last week’s parking garage exercise: the pax is divided in two, with each half headed in opposing directions around the building.  Bunny hop the east/west sides, bear crawl north/south.  At the meeting point on the opposite side, we did 8-count bodybuilders 10x.  Head back the same way, and did another 8-count exercise, absolution.

    Next up, mosey to the bottom of the parking garage for a SCOP (semi-circle of pain): The Penny.  The Penny consists of the stupidest and most awkward-looking exercises in the exicon.  These are the exercises that are not suitable for the public eye.  But of course, with the amount of time Patiently-Waiting Penny has already put in with the Pax, she is practically one of us.  So we opened our circle to her and performed the following:

    • Goofballs x20 IC
    • Smurf Jacks x20 IC
    • Star Jacks x20 IC (look out PAX, YHC has a new favorite!)
    • Howling Monkeys (each man performs 10X IC monkey humpers while the PAX holds their ankles)
    • Wife Pleasers x20 IC
    • Hello Dollies x20 IC
    • Rosalitas x20 IC
    • Pattycake Merkins x20 OYO

    Having amused YHC, we moseyed (then sprinted) up to the top, where we then began a Bataan Death March.  Well, more of a Bataan Death Loop as we circled until each man got his burpees and sprints in.  Then a short Indian run back to the flag for…

    Mary:  Crunchy frogs, flutter kicks, and Freddie Mercuries, all x20 IC

    COT and Shooter prayed us out.  Thank you gentlemen for the push and for indulging me today’s lead –  I appreciate it!

  • No Animal Left Behind

    We began with a brief warmup: Side Straddle Hops x 15/Windmills x10/High Knees x15/Butt Kicks x15/Imperial Walkers x 15 in cadence.  We then finished with 5 Burpees on your own. 

    QIC then had us mosey to begin our commemoration of the biblical account of Noah’s Ark.  We paired up, and while one partner ran the length of the ark (450′) out and back, the other did Mountain Climbers until each team reached a cumulative of 600 (Noah’s age when he built the ark. 

    All teams performed that task with such ease, we added 300 cumulative Merkins on the back end, much to Shooter’s chagrin. (Noah lived for another 300 years after the flood.) 

    With our chests nice and fatigued, we moved on to the animal portion.  Each partner stood 75′ apart from each other (the width of the ark), and took turns doing the following:  Bear Crawls/Crab Walk/Duck Walk/Gecko Walk/Rabbit Hop/Run.  While one partner was performing the task, the other waited by doing squats.  

    As if that were not enough, we then honored the 40 day/40 night flood by doing 40 Frek Nastys/ 40 Lunges/ 40 Monkey Humpers.  (3 sets to honor each of Noah’s 3 sons.) 

    We then moseyed back to the flag for some Mary.  Since there was no dry land for 7 days after the rain stopped, we performed 7 different exercises to finish up:  20 x Crunchy Frogs/Dying Cockroaches/Freddy Mercurys/Putins/Peter Parkers/Parker Peters/Little Manny Crunches. 

    We finished by saying the Pledge of Allegiance before Bubba prayed us out.  We then enjoyed some F2 at the Beach House, as is customary. 

  • I Am Groot-er!!!

    YHC walked up to the flag and waited for the overachievers to make their way back from their run, and as that infamous group rolled in there was one notable absentee. Shooter was not among the Mandeville crew and he was the one that was supposed to be the Q!

    It turns out that Shooter had one great reason to be out. His daughter was in the hospital about to make Shooter a grandpa!!! Grandpa Shooter, or what I would like to call him “Grooter”! I hope all is well in the family my friend.

    With the Q understandably out, we all chipped in for a round robin beatdown!

    Warmup

    Bushwacker picked up the torch first and warmed us up with some different items all IC

    Toe Touches
    Cherry pickers
    High Knees
    Butt Kicks
    Scorpion Kicks

    Bushwacker threw down the torch and Steve picked it up and we moseyed to the Justice center stairs

    The Thang

    Steve pulled out his favorite bag of tricks starting with 11’s. Bottom of the stairs was erkens, and top of the stairs was derkens.

    We then did a series of moves all IC to 12.

    Step ups (both right and left leg)
    Freak Nasties
    Albanian Split Squats (both right and left leg)
    Freak Nasties

    Turbo was next and he had some diabolical plans in the tank. We moseyed to the top of the parking garage and partnered up for a series where we traveled to opposite sides of the garage (either in side plank crawls, lunges, crab walks, or bear crawls) and went down to the bottom of the stairs and back up until you met your partner back up top.

    Killer idea there Turbo!

    Next YHC took the final leg and took us back to the Justice center where we did a yet to be named sequence where you cover a distance by taking two lunges forward and one lunge back. Tough stuff.

    We moseyed back to the flag for a quick 20 IC reverse crunches. We circled up and Bushwacker closed us out.

    Great job everyone!