F3 New Orleans

Tag: Cowbell

  • Uranus in Retrograde – from Steve

    Some weird planetary alignment threw us into an alternate universe this morning, and not a good one.

    Cowbell showed up on time (which should’ve been our first sign that things were askew), immediately souring JV’s intention to “live his life gloriously” while Cowbell was away for a week. As the smile dropped from JV’s face, it was immediately picked up by Cowbell who came frolicking (yeah, frolicking) in with a noticeable twinkle in his eye and a pep in his step. You might think this was due to his impending wedding bliss, but no – apparently there’s some sort of college baseball finals going on right now.

    Anyway, a super chatty warmorama caused YHC to abandon cadence counting for the first time in 5 years, before finally just calling it and heading to the stage for the intended circuit routine.

    Now the night before, Bushwacker had texted Jose and me that today – the first official day of summer (yeah, right) – there would be a dazzling planetary alignment: five planets in an arc, with the crescent moon situated somewhere in the middle. So, once in the grassy knoll at the foot of the stage, we looked up. But it was difficult to see anything beyond the thick swarm of bats that had suddenly blotted out the sky. Seriously, it was like Old Testament Egypt out at the amphitheater this morning.

    One grazed JV’s face, which prompted a quick swat and a, “Get outta here.” But when one buzzed Cowbell’s face, mid-jumping rope, he let out a howl and nearly fell off the stage. Not wanting to bring Ebola or SARS down to Key West for his wedding, Cowbell was not happy about these bats. (JV, though, happily added this incident, along with Cowbell’s tire pull efforts, to his list of ammo for those occasions when he needs to defend himself.)

    Oh yeah, and we were doing some exercises out there, too: jumping rope, curls, plank toe taps with resistance bands, freak nasties, flutters, planks, hand release merkins, squat thrusters, etc, with occasional runs hoping the swarm would dissipate.

    But bats were only the first plague that descended on us this morning. The second, and arguably worse, was mosquitos. I guess it didn’t help that we were lying around in the grass complaining instead of doing said exercises, but those suckers were eating us alive. Eventually, we had the sense to move to another area that had fans going.

    All in all, there was a lot of grumbling, and in a weird reversal that must’ve been due to Jupiter’s third moon ascending, it was everyone BUT Jose who was complaining. I’m telling you, bad omens all over the place at Granny’s this morning.

    Some things that we complained about: obviously, bats, mosquitos, proper jump rope technique (double jumps??), Bypass (ok, ok – Jose did contribute a little here), airline security lines, and Richard Simmons being the most important Brother Martin alum.

    YHC nearly went over because, apparently, time flies when you’re being attacked by nature and having a good gripe session. COT, nameorama, and Jose prayed us out, with intentions for Cowbells wedding and everyone’s safe travels down there.

    Reminder, a few CSAUP’s coming up: Goose and Paradox’s St. Vincent 500 in Thibodeaux, Hammer’s yet-to-be-named standing guard at the CPC, and, of course, the fast-approaching Gnarly Nutria. Thanks guys for the entertaining morning, always appreciate getting stronger with you all.

  • Jam Elatedly Replicating Intricate Cadences Half-Obediently – from Russo

    80 degrees or so and humid to begin the morning at Granny’s. YHC was looking for a unique way to remind folks about the beatdown and draw some attention to our mid week AOs as charged by Jose, and in doing so, Zoolander taught me a new word: acrostics. Who knew it was really a word puzzle in which certain letters in words are clues that form another word (e.g. Join Everyone Running In Certain Heat
    Outdoors) and not an acrobatic mystic or an acrylic heretic?

    Early mumblechatter revolved around dinosaur movies, cars in space, Omaha, sharknados, and JVs drinking habits.

    Warmup (all 10-20x IC)
    – Sealjacks
    – Cherry pickers
    – Arm circles
    – SSH
    – Imperial walkers
    – Air presses

    Thang
    A Shooter favorite, the Walls of Jericho
    (7 rounds of seven exercises, followed by a mosey around Granny’s)
    – 7 merkins
    – 7 squats
    – 7 groiners
    – 7 crunches
    – 7 side squats
    – 7 shoulder tap plank jacks
    – 7 American hammers

    Thang after the Thang (which reminded some of “Never have I ever”, so that’s now back on the rotation for a beatdown)

    One round of:
    – 7 Peter Parker’s
    – 7 Bulgarian split squats
    – 7 Durkins
    – 7 freak nastys
    – 7 step ups
    – 7 Urkins
    – 7 leg raises
    – Calf raises (2 on each step) up the pilot house, with a special guest on Jose’s trip (sorry about that)

    Mary
    – 25 wife pleasers IC
    – 20 LMCs IC

    COT, Name o Rama, Announcements, and prayer closed us out.

    Announcements
    – Hammer is putting together a bible study, check Slack for info and to discuss best time/day.
    – Co-Q by pickaxe and chainsaw on Saturday (Luigi’s and Boom ShackaLackas for everyone!)
    – Gnarly Nutria is July 20th at 9 – more info to come on Slack

    Good times all around, gents, thanks for joining me. SYITG

  • Oy Vey: An Unorthodox Morning at Granny’s – from Steve

    “Saturday, Donny, is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means I don’t work, I don’t drive a car, I don’t lift cinderblocks or crawl like a goddamn bear, and I sure as shit don’t do kraken burpees!”

    -Walter Sobchak (paraphrased)

    Well, at least I tried. YHC thought maybe a pre-beatdown announcement on slack could lure in the likes of Zoolander or Shooter, but alas, they did not take the bait. No bigge, though – the Granny regulars were there, including Granny’s favorite son, Russo, who has (somewhat) recovered from throwing out his back a month ago.

    Now, not wanting to tarnish his enduring reputation for being late after a string of on-time appearances, Cowbell showed up this morning exactly five minutes after we began. What’s so crazy, and I think Hammer has pointed this out before, is that he is so precisely five minutes late every time. He’s got it down to a science, really. I mean, you’d think the guy could just set his alarm clock exactly five minutes earlier and that’d be that.

    Anyway, as he sidled up next to Jose and ignored whatever warmup exercise we were doing, he mentioned that he had a really good excuse for being late this time (and boy did he): Orthodox Jews. We’ll just let that one sit for a moment.

    Warmorama: Torso twists, self love, arm circles, windmills, side straddle hops, toe touches, 10x merkins.

    Thang: First up today, a mosey to the lakefront, stopping at each intersection for a set of 10x leg, 20x chest, and 30x core exercises. Exercises were as follows:

    Squats
    Merkins
    Flutters

    Lunges
    Diamond Merks
    LBCs

    Jump Squats
    Explosive Merks
    Freddie mercs

    Star jumps
    Hand release merkins
    Crunchy Frogs

    Sister Mary’s
    T-merkins
    Leg Raises

    Jump Knee Tucks
    Staggered Merkins
    Heel Pulses

    Before Jose could continue kvetching about helping his uncle with a stuck trailer, or about the number of merkins that were rapidly piling up at this point (130), Cowbell elaborated that some of his biggest (and best) clients are Orthodox Jews from Brooklyn. While detailing some of the interesting quirks of the orthodox, he assured us that he was a man of integrity (yeah, sure, a mensch) and that he loved those guys. In fact, he is often confused for being an orthodox Jew himself! But man, those guys sure send a lot of emails after shabbos…

    Alright, so once we reached the sea wall, it was the usual leg work:
    Step ups L x15
    Step ups R x15
    Freaks x15
    Bulgarians L x15
    Bulgarians R x15
    Derkins x15

    Then a short mosey to rips for 5 calf raises on each step before heading back to Granny’s, alternating between standard mosey and sprints every other block. COT where Hammer prayed us out, thanking God for all of our blessings and asking to open Cowbell’s heart to his people. YHC had to leave shortly thereafter, as the guys stood around discussing the soft white underbelly of America and, trust me, you don’t want to be a part of that conversation. Thank you men for the opportunity to get stronger alongside you, always appreciated!

  • Sweatin’ at the Krak of Dawn – from Steve

    Conditions this past Tuesday morning were such that you could step outside, do 15 side straddle hops, walk right back in to your well air conditioned home and you’d still look like you’d just given Russo an overly long bear hug (or perhaps engaged in some sort of scissoring activity with Jose). So a 45 minutes beatdown? Forget about it, we’d all be dripping in Shooter-esque proportions.

    It was no surprise then, when a sweaty, shirtless figure emerged from the shadows heading eastbound on the trace at around 0500. What was a surprise, though, was that this guy was neither an F3 dude nor part of Garfield’s crew. Furthering the mystery was that he was riding one bike while guiding a second, passenger-less bike. He seemed a little jumpy when he reached the bathrooms and disappeared for a bit, only to then re-emerge and make a very determined beeline for Hammer the second his truck pulled in. And although Hammer had probably only awakened 15 minutes prior to this moment, he unsurprisingly had enough wits about him to easily deflect the man’s urgent request for a ride to Lacombe.

    Cowbell then rolled in (completely unaware of the above) and once it was clear that it’d only be three of us, we got down to it. The usual warmorama before moseying west to the tunnel (and leaving my own bike behind, reasoning that it’d probably be difficult for one man to successfully steer three bikes to Lacombe without some help).

    Originally I had planned to stop at each intersection on the way for 10x kraken burpees, but with conversation flowing (and not wanting to immediately sour anyone on their decision to post this morning), YHC filed that one away for the journey back.

    Once at the tunnel, we did a round of B.O.M.B’s, with a backwards jog up the far end ramp between each set:

    B – x10 Burpees
    O – x20 Overhead claps (IC)
    M – x30 Merkins
    B – x40 Big Boy’s
    S – x50 Sister Mary’s (1 is 1)

    It finally felt like the right time to drop the krakens on them, so we knocked out one set right there at the base of the tunnel before starting the mosey back, completing a second set once we had emerged from the wooded area.

    Took a quick break at the bus depot to get the usual leg work in:

    12x step ups
    12 jump overs
    12x step ups
    12 jump overs
    12x bulgarians
    12x freak nasties
    12x bulgarians
    12x freak nasties

    Slow mosey over to Lafitte to complete the kraken trifecta (at this point, I think we were all wishing Russo a quick recovery so he could take the next Granny Q and relieve me of this bizarre affinity for krakens), and then finally back to the flag for some Mary. (Oh, and one last round of x20 merkins to bring our total to a nice, even 150.).

    COT where we prayed for those injured or lost in the boating accident the night before and gave thanks for another day on this earth. And thank you gents for the opportunity to lead, for putting up with my Q’s, and for getting me out there – YHC certainly wouldn’t do it without the accountability.

    Also, Jose – I essentially wrote this backblast for you. Since you’ve been posting 4-5 times a week now that school’s out, and you’re always hounding me for backblasts, I figured you would appreciate me finally writing one for the only beatdown you didn’t attend.

  • Speedy run over here, or NOT!!! – from Shooter

    With the Q sheet quite empty, site Q stepped up to take charge of 4 pax and just to confirm yes Speedy was really there this morning sir Wacker… Decided to change up things this morning, after of course we completed our warmup of 10IC self love, Abe Vogadas, and Cowbell leg swings and also 15IC Butt kicks and SSH.. We ran along East causeway approach to Golden shores entrance and completed 2 loops around the neighborhood.. On our return Speedy felt a little rebellious and decided to run along in the middle of East causeway approach as the PAX instructed multiple times to return to the shoulder but he simply wasn’t having it, so thankfully there was little traffic to contend with and avoid. Returning back to the AO we circled up by the equipment to utilize the pull-up bar for our cycling as we focused on Merkins, core and legs through 3 rounds. Each PAX completed 5 pull-up’s per round while the remainder of the PAX completed alternating staggered left/right Merkins, Diamond merkins, mission impossible and regular.
    Round 2 was core with Crunchy frogs, (while Cowbell did pull-ups just to get at him), flutter kicks , 💯s, alternating elbow to knees left/right, lil Manny crunches. Final round squats, jump squats, lunges, reverse lunges and AlGores..

    Waterpic graciously prayed out the PAX..

    Appreciate the post gentlemen and until the next Gloom 👍🏼👊🏼✌🏼!!

  • Fire Fighter Challenge Part Deux – from Bushwacker

    I feel I’ve been so delinquent in my commitment to F3 lately and it showed as I tried to start the warmorama. IMHO (as the kids put it), that delinquency continued right on through the beat down with my unorganized leadership, chaotic participation, and off-the-cuff modifications. But YHC brought the coupons, set the games in motion, and we all watched with little surprise as the former Marsh Madness champion and current King of Distain quite literally ran away with the Badaxe award this go ’round. Nonetheless, all men (regardless of age) put forth an effort most valiant indeed!

    WARMORAMA
    As previously mentioned, QIC felt entirely out of practice, forgetting exercise names, miscalling cadences, and generally flubbing my return. But PAX kept showing up until the ranks grew to a respectable number. Even after out our mosey to the shaft, Grundy popped up to fiddle around with our tires.

    THANG
    Farmer’s Carry
    Sledge Hammer Tire
    Tire Flip
    Tire Pull
    Prisoner’s Carry
    Tire Drag
    Chain of Doom
    Lunge Walk

    Teams of 2-3 did 3 1 minute rounds switching between the coupon and plank or al gore. We kept this up until, with 5 minutes remaining, the 4 bad asses competing for the Badaxe award ran the tire drag for time. As previously mentioned, our own reverend pastor preacher man took home the prize… until next time!

    COT
    On the spot we carried out count/nameorama, with zoo having departed prematurely. I appreciate you guys. I cherish my time with you guys. Many many thanks!

  • Trilogy completed – from Shooter

    YHC signed up for 5 AOs two weeks ago and today concluded the trilogy of his thoughts.. With the Marsh and the A1c both experiencing the 2 min drill the Gipper was all that remained.. YHC was rewarded by 2 other PAX in Akbar and Moby getting a second dose and newcomers Barely legal, BBQ and Cowbell were able to get a sample of a simple 2 min interval workout that can prove to be effective..

    Simple warmup of 15IC Cherry Pickers, Moracans, Self Love, Grass grabbers, SSH and Butt kicks with a Mosey around the block..

    Work consisted of Jump rope, plate swings, squat thrusters (block), chest press (block), curls (block) and eight count body builders (block).. In between intervals ran down the the ole railway and around the trolly..

    YHC prayed out the PAX with prayer intentions for BBQs mother Jan with her upcoming procedure and prayers of safety for the journey of Cowbell to Boulder CO and fellow PAX Grover for his trip to AR..

    Appreciate the post gentlemen and until the next Gloom 👍🏼👊🏼✌🏼!!

  • Old reliable – from Russo

    70 degrees and humid this morning for a group of 6 to conquer the semi-regular (when I have put less thought into Q than I’d like) deck of death. Old reliable was supposed to be the deck, but it also meant:

    – JV and Cowbell continuing their verbal sparring / encouragement
    – Hammer coming up with yet another brilliant analogy
    – Sweat angels from YHC that confounds Bushwhacker

    Warmup – all IC 10x -20x

    – Sealjacks
    – Arm circles
    – Toe touches
    – Grass grabbers
    – High knees

    Thang – Deck of Death (count and exercise based on card turned over)

    Split the deck into 3 groups for rounds. Rounds included:
    Spades – Wide merkins
    Clubs – crab cakes
    Diamonds – jump squats
    Hearts – circle ups

    Spades – shoulder tap merkins
    Clubs – calf raises (2 is 1)
    Diamonds – SMCs
    Hearts – Crunchy frogs

    Spades – Freak nastys
    Clubs – Monkey Humpers
    Diamonds – side squats (2 is 1)
    Hearts – box cutters / Cowbell Saturday Night Special (size of boxes varied)

    Mary (with bonus definition of Mary for the Pax from Bushwhacker):

    – 20 freak nastys
    – 20 shoulder tap plank jacks
    – American hammers 10 IC
    – Wife pleasers 20 IC
    – Gas pumps 10 IC
    – Hello Dollie’s 10 IC
    – 10 donkey kicks (what’s up Shooter?!?!)

    COT, name-o-rama, announcements and prayer closed us out. Special intention for those traveling.

    MVP to JV for accepting constructive criticism and encouragement from Cowbell with grace and style.

    Thanks for joining, gents, and yet ANOTHER all star krewe this week.

  • “Scissor me Softly” by Jose 10k – from Shooter

    Being out of sync with attendance the last few weeks YHC was refreshed to post at Grandmas on this Gloom..Since the start of the new year most credit goes to Russo for rejuvenating attendance at one of the Northshores original AOs… T👏🏼 to his dedication and persistent posting in leading our F3 brethren on the Northside.. As I recently signed up for multiple AOs over the weekend my brain 🧠 was in constant taught on what to bring or do on this gloom.. With the trusted Exicon and some assistance from Cowbell anything is possible… Hopeful of a Bushwacker showing, YHC figured the PAX would stay in proximity of the Firehouse in case of course there might be an A.L.A.R.M… With No Bushwacker in sight, the only alarmingly moment of the day would be Jose 10k suggesting some scissor ✂️ action with the Q on the benches while completing get this “Freak Nasties” by the Treen center.. He has most obviously gained great knowledge of recent Inclusion training, appreciate the compliment 10k 🤗😉…
    Enough of that so here is the breakdown…

    Warmup
    15IC Cherry Pickers, Moroccans, Toe Touches, Abe Vagodas, Grass grabbers and Imperial walkers…

    Thang
    1st A.L.A.R.M (Bus stop)
    25 rep count Incline Merkin, Step ups, Donkey kickoffs, run to the stop sign and return to the bus stop for Merkins. (Cowbell)
    2nd A.L.A.R.M (Treen center)
    25 rep count Freak Nasties, Squats, American Hammers run around the building and finish with Monkey Humpers. (Cowbell)
    3rd A.L.A.R.M (Rusty Pelican)
    25 rep count Carolina dry docks, Box jumps, LBCs run to stop sign towards the Marsh and return for 3x 10 sec Mission impossible hold. (Cowbell)
    4th A.L.A.R.M (Trailhead)
    25 rep count Burpees, Lunges, 2/1 Mountain climbers, run around the trailhead and concluded with a Monkey crawl up the steps..

    4 mins remaining PAX completed 15IC Crunchy frog, Oblique cross crunch, 💯s and Flutter kicks Cowbell style..

    Thanks to Murdock for traveling down from Pearl River and congrats on the new job as he closed us out with COT…

    Appreciate the post gentlemen and until the next Gloom 👍🏼👊🏼✌🏼!!!

  • Clean and clear – from Shooter

    After a cleansing rain over night 4 PAX posted at the Scramble. With Easter break upon us we had a Northern guest in Jose 10k join us on this mild gloom. YHC arrived with he and Zoolander waiting in the darkness.. Planted flag and commenced with a warmup of 10IC Windmills, Grass grabbers, Torso twists, Cherry pickers, Touch touches and as Cowbell arrived we grabbed a tree for some leg swings forward /back and side to side OYO. Lizard 🦎 stretch and down dawg before Moseying our normal route through Mandeville adding an additional loop. Jose 10k with EarPods in tow moseyed about at his own pace, while the remainder of the PAX cruised at a modest pace. Returned and closed with down dawg stretch and another Lizard 🦎 stretch.

    Announce, count, COT

    Thanks for the post gentlemen and until the next Gloom 👍🏼👊🏼✌🏼!!