F3 New Orleans

Tag: Lakefront

  • We Interrupt This Broadcast – from Grundy

    Bushwacker:
    Welcome to the Zoo-rich classic everyone and thank you for tuning in! Excited is just not a big enough of a word to accurately describe how I’m feeling today.

    Jose-10k:
    You took the words right out of my mouth Wacker. Covid-19 took many things from us, but I think we can all agree that it crossed the line when it forced the Zoo-rich classic to be cancelled in 2020.

    Bushwacker:
    You got that right. It was tragic. I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say that this event might be the biggest source of hope and inspiration for America.

    Jose-10k: AND THE WORLD!

    Bushwacker: So here we are. The moment we have been waiting for for over 2 years. It is time for the Zoo-rich classic! And nothing, I MEAN NOTHING, can stop this thing from happe…

    We interrupt this broadcast to inform you that the Zoo-rich classic is currently in a weather delay and has been officially postponed until 5/1/2021. We thank you for your patience and do hope you enjoy today’s programming brought to you by the washed up wanna-be trainer Grundy.

    The Warm-Up

    We started with the following exercises in-cadence:
    * SSH
    * Seal Jacks
    * Windmills
    * Imperial Walkers
    * Cherry Pickers
    *Arm-Circles

    We continued with the warm-up by lining up on the base line in a bear crawl formation. We did a alligator crawl together across the court where we stopped to do 2 merkins every third movement.

    The next sequence turned out to be way harder than the Q anticipated. We split the group in half and each took a corner of the basketball court. We went around the court in circles doing gorilla crawls from baseline to baseline, and side crawls between the two baselines. We went for 10 minutes which worked out to be 4 trips around the court (after 2 trips we went the opposite counter clockwise). I definitely didn’t anticipate it being that difficult in my head when I made it up. Live and learn.

    The Main Event

    We walked over to grab the cinderblocks for what was the main thing the Q wanted to do that day. It was an exercise sequence first introduced to me by an Israeli personal trainer named Sagi Kalev. In it, the Q almost splashed merlot after attempting it for the first time. In the exercise Sagi gave some incredible advice, he said “When you feel like you can’t go anymore and you want to drop the weight and quit, what you need to do is… NOT QUIT!!!”

    The Q couldn’t offer any better advice to the PAX than that. Let’s do this thing!

    In this sequence the first step is to assume a lunged position over the cinderblock. Next you grab the block overhand using the opposite hand of your outstretched leg while the other hand grabs the backside underhanded. Straighten your back and try to keep the weight as much as you can to be right underneath your outstretched leg so when you straighten your leg in the lunge, the weight will hit the middle of your hamstring. As soon as you begin holding the weight underneath like that, your leg gets put into a tension that will not be relieved due to its positioning until you drop the weight. It makes it very difficult to cheat.

    The sequence then begins by doing 7 reps of the lunge by straightening your leg until the coupon hits your hamstring. After the 7 reps you go back to the starting position and begin a 10 count hold. (REPEAT SEQUENCE FOR 7 ROUNDS (COUGH COUGH sometimes 8 rounds)…

    We didn’t have enough cinderblocks for everyone to do the sequence at the same time so half the group did merkins and held a plank in the same cadence as everyone else. Rinsed and repeated on the opposite leg (and did squats and al gores the second round instead of merkins)

    Great job men!

    We walked back over to center court and did a core sequence that got named “Slot Machines” which really turned out to be quite effective.

    We went back to the monkey bars and did some forearm and grip training by hanging on a bar for different lengths of time interspersed with merkins.

    We circled up, counted off, and Waterpik closed us out.

    (Now back to your regularly scheduled programming. We thank you for your patience. Enjoy the Zoo-rich Classic)

    …ning!!!!

  • Need more 10 counts – from Waterpik

    We definitely should have had more 10 counts at the beatdown. Since there were none, we hammered through 16 sets of Tabata (30 seconds with 10 seconds rest) and about 40 minutes with the cinder block coupon. Alternate cinder block reps with an assortment of other reps (mostly pull ups). At the concluding bell, YHC was thoroughly tired. Until next time!

  • Northshore 5 year convergence – from Waterpik

    What a great day it was, as today’s experience crystallized the essence of F3 in so many ways. YHC awakened, checked my phone and noticed a text from cowbell, inquiring on the status of the beatdown on behalf of the PAX from Nola who were preparing to cross the causeway. That was at 0455! T-Claps to those guys for even considering making the trip across for the convergence. After all, and unbeknownst to them, the causeway was CLOSED at the time due to the severity of the weather.

    And don’t forget Goose, who decided to make a surprise appearance and left his home in Thibodeaux at 0445, driving through rain storms, lightning, and thunder at a mere 45 mph on the interstate before encountering the closed causeway bridge himself. T-Claps to you, Goose, for your perseverance and your faith that F3 would stick to its credo of “rain or shine”. And that we did! It was really go to see you, Goose!

    And what about Jose and Speedy and Bushwacker, who showed up at 0600, ready for the pre thing on the Lakefront? Thanks for sticking around, guys, until 0730, and for your dedication to our Organization.

    And then, despite the horrific weather over night, 15 PAX showed up the beatdown! T-claps to all of you guys who showed up for the convergence. Without a PAX, we are all sad clowns. And thanks to F3 for giving me more than I have given to it! I am definitely a better man now than I was before. That is, more dedicated, more confident, more responsible, more faithful, more resolute, more grounded, and more and more and more!

    And here’s a prayer for F3 Nation, who has had a change of leadership and has very ambitious goals to keep growing, thriving, and adapting. Those will be no easy tasks, but my prayer is that they (we) will succeed. It’s because of PAX like YOU GUYS that I have confidence that WE can do just that.

    And by the way, there was a workout. It was much of the same. You know the drill, merkins, cinder blocks, Mary, COT, special intentions and Goose to pray us out

  • INFERNO – 9 CIRCLES OF HELL – from Zoolander

    The Northshore beatdown on Holy Saturday was themed around Dante’s Inferno. A group of 18 Pax, including a guest appearance from the Southshore’s SOGO, descended upon the Lakefront for 9 Circles of Hell. Warmup exercises were completed in reverse cadence (4-3-2-1) to align with the date (4/3/21) and to remind everyone it was Cowbell’s birthday. We traveled 9 blocks, circling up at each one to perform the 66 exercises illustrated below. Lots of Mumble Chatter, especially at Circle no. 2. We finished at the shovel flag with some Absolution, completing 666 total reps (or there about) for the day.

    Announcements:
    – Northshore 5 year Convergence to be led by Waterpik on Saturday 4/10.
    – Fia/F3 mixer at the Gipper on 4/29 at 6:30pm.

    Cowbell prayed us out. Happy Easter to all.

  • Marsh Madness 2021 – from Zoolander

    Welcome to Marsh Madness 2021. Twenty-four Pax converged upon the Milestone Marsh for this second-time event1

    In the presence of the Pick Axe-entrusted Freedom Hammer, we started with a quick disclaimer, Warmorama, Bushwacker-style2 instructions, and then the THANG.

    The Pax counted off in 4’s and formed 4 x 6ish-man teams at each corner of the court with a basketball. While 1 member of each team backpedaled with their ball to half court, performed a Bobby Hurley, and drove to goal for a shot of his choosing:

    – Layup (1 point),
    – Free Throw (2 points), or
    – Three point shot (3 points)
    Zero points for missed shots

    the rest of each team completed the following series of exercises in cadence led by a rotating corner Q.
    • Burpees
    • Air Presses
    • Shoulder Tap Merkins
    • Copperhead Jump Squats
    • LBCs
    • Plank Jacks
    • Monkey Humpers
    • Flutter Kicks
    Each man – including FNGs, 2nd timers, and celebrity guests – had multiple chances to lead the cadence.

    Shooters marked their points with sidewalk chalk and fell in line to call the cadence for the next exercise. It took a few rounds before each team found its own rhythm, but after that it was like watching a philharmonic orchestra playing Mary had a little lamb.
    After “40 minutes of hell,” team member points were tallied, and the highest scoring individual from each of the 4 teams were down-bracketed to a 5-shot “Around-the-World” shoot out on their respective side of the court. The rest of the Pax performed Goofballs and Side Straddle Hops to distract the Final Four shooters.
    Grundy, with accountant like focus, out-calculated Speedy;
    Ocho outdanced Whip.

    Grundy and Ocho were then down-bracketed to compete in a best-of-10 shootout from the free throw line. As luck would have it, they tied, and we went to Sudden Death from the Three Point line. Despite Ocho’s shenanigans, Grundy stomped the Stomper and emerged as the 2021 Marsh Madness champion!

    – Trophy
    – Count-orama
    – Name-orama – Welcome FNGs Sonar (EH’d by Turbo Tax) and Gomer Pyle (EH’d by Sparky).
    – Announcements
    o Northshore 5-year convergence led by Waterpik at the Lakefront on April 10.
    o Next F3/FiA mixer is 4/29. Thank you Jose10k, some of us do have to plan ahead for weeknight workouts.
    o ZOORICH CLASSIC at the Lakefront on April 24. (See how I slipped that in there Cowbell?…never too early!)

    QIC prayed us out and group photo followed. Great job by all. We’ll see if Grundy can defend his title in 2022. Thanks for playing along men. See you in the next Gloom.

    Footnotes:
    1Seriously, footnotes in a Backblast? Why not? The first Marsh Madness was in 2019 with a small, dare I say Elite, group of 8. Bird was an FNG and drained 16 x 3-point shots. The B-ball gods did not favor him today though. And well, Corona (as it was called back then) had other plans in ‘20.

    2Bushwacker-style instructions typically include circumlocutory, sesquipedalian musings about man’s ultimate life purpose with some semblance of what the Pax should be doing for the next 40-50 minutes. They are often accompanied by Mumble Chatter and confusion by all within earshot. Bushwacker-style instructions are the exact opposite of Turbo-style instructions, which are direct, concise, and never to be interrupted without penalty.

  • We’re Caught in a Trap, and Can’t Walk Out… – from Akbar

    Because I love y’all too much baby.

    And so it began, the 2nd annual Merkin Trap on the lakefront. Last year around this time we did 400 Merkins, could it be topped? I think so.

    18 PAX converged at the Lakefront today (without Gnats!) to make ourselves better. It could have been an even 20 if TankedUp didn’t steel Bush and Steve for a OYO Marathon.

    Gloom Factor – overcast, chilly 47 degrees

    Warm up – Nada. It’s time to get to business

    THANG – multiple exercises, mosey’s, and a lot of Merkins with a surprise thrown in mid-way. Exercises were done IC, 12,8,5 (50 reps) and some OYO.

    Starting out at the shovel flag: SSH | Merkins IC 12,8,5

    Mosey to Rips for Calf Raises on the stairs | Dirkins on the curb. 12,8,5 IC

    Mosey to the wall: Step Ups OYO in sets of 12/8/5 | Irkins OYO 24, 16, 10

    Run 2 blocks to Jefferson, stop for 10 Merkins at Claiborne. Monkey Humpers |Stone Mountain 12/8/5 IC

    Run 2 blocks to Monroe stop at Madison for 10 Merkins. Squats | Leg-up Merkins 12,8,5 IC

    Run to the Marsh, stop at Livingston for 10 Merkins

    Milestone Marsh: 50 pull ups, 50 Freak Nasties OYO – modification was supine or negative pullups

    Cowbell gave me a time check before we hit the Marsh, and after 100 reps YHC had to modify to make it back in time.

    Run back to the flag, stopping at each street for 15 Merkins.

    On the way, some father son intensification took place with Hammer and Pickaxe. Hammer carried Pickaxe most of the way piggyback style, and I took a turn for 1 leg. While Hammer and I did Merkins, Pickaxe did a Luigi (I think) – or pretty much a Merkin with no arms. At least he didn’t have to carry Shooter for 6 blocks.

    Back to the shovel flag for the wrap up.

    · Crunchy Frogs for Cowbell | Merkins 12,8,5 IC
    · LBC’s IC 12,8,5 24 Irkins OYO 8,5 FIA Merkins IC
    · Hello Dolly | Merkins IC 12,8

    500 Merkins in an hour, Advil post beatdown OYO

    Count, Name – Welcome FNG Binky!

    Announcements:

    1. F2 with FIA Thursday March 25th, 6pm at the Lakefront Gazebo and Barley Oak afterwards. Bring your wife, girlfriend, your female children, and their friends. Who wouldn’t want to attend that!

    2. Zoolander Q next week at the Milestone Marsh – NOT THE LAKEFRONT

    Thanks for following my lead,

    Till Next Gloom – Akbar

    Moleskin

    I first did this workout in Atlanta and loved the cadence. Last year we did it with 400 Merkins and hit 500 this year. 600 in 2022?

    Great to see Blaze back at the Mothership again.

    Zoolander had a 3 man EH. T claps for What’s That making the trip all the way from Kenner.

    T Claps to Pickaxe who hung in there, that’s a long way to run for a young man.

    Great to see Steve again at coffee and glad he’s back in the workforce.

    TankedUp is either crazy, a beast, or both. He just decided to run a marathon in Covington on his own. Maybe because Hammer called him Geriatric. T Claps brother.

  • Gnats 1 PAX 1 – from TurboTax

    It was a draw. The Gnats mobilized early and mounted a fierce attack, but the PAX persevered and evened the score with a strong showing. It all started with a burpee heavy warmup which, in all honesty, wasn’t much of a warmup at all. It was The Thang from the bell. Burpees were performed with a sprinkling of standard warmup exercises added to the mix and then it was on to the main event…PAX vs sandbag. Dividing up into teams of two and three, we moved back and forth in 10 yard increments carrying our sandbags in various fashions while bear crawling, running, burpee long jumping, etc in between rounds. We then dropped the sand bags and ran a few sprint relays wrapping things up with some Mary after returning to the Shovel Flag. Countorama nameorama and Russo prayed us out. Thanks for letting me lead guys and making us all look good for the little old lady videographer. Hammer, did you remember to give her Bushwacker’s contact info?

  • This is what happens when you don’t sign up to Q – from Amnesia

    Pre-Thang: Some of the PAX ran the 2 mile Pre-Thang to get those miles in for RCR.

    Warm-O-Rama: 25 SSH, 25 Imperial Walkers, 20 mountain climbers – we needed some warming as the temps were still below freezing.

    The Thang: YHC had signed up planning to run the whole time, as Run Cajun Run was still ongoing. After warning from some PAX as to the running abilities of other PAX, YHC had to adapt. So adapt we did! We ran to the beach, with random stops for 5 burpees OYO.

    Then we came back and completed Dora at Marigny Avenue. You know the drill: 100 merkins, 200 big boi sit-ups, and 300 squats cumulative – one partner runs while the other completes the exercises.

    I don’t blame Jose 10k…at this point he said “screw it” and left the workout to get pure running in. Which was my intent anyway.

    Next was BLIMPS…5 burpees at the shovel flag, then run a block and complete 10 lunges…continue with 15 Imperial Walkers, 20 merkins, 25 plank jacks, and 30 squats. I had the leaders complete SPMILB on their way back to the shovel flag.

    Mary: After running back to the flag, we had barely enough time for 20 each of leg lifts and hello dolly’s.

    Name-O-Rama and COT concluded the beatdown and then YHC had to skip coffeeteria as a drive to Dallas was planned for that afternoon!!

  • Boom-Shaka-Laka! And Then There Was Chainsaw! – from The Hammer

    As YHC has/am learning, a large part of being a parent is nothing more than a glorified chauffeur/ATM. If you are Pickaxe’s dad, you can add scribe into the mix. An excuse to get in my cave and crack some AC/DC while I write. So all good!

    Pickaxe has been itching to Q again since his initial Q the day after Christmas. With a dearth of Northshore PAX donating their talent to the Lakefront beatdown, no better time than the present. So off we go…

    Warm-o-Rama

    Windmills
    Waybacks (Toe Touches w/ extra stretch at end)
    IW
    SSH

    This 9 year old drill sergeant made us bear crawl towards Noah’s Ark. Along the way, he planted several Easter Eggs with exercises or candy in them. As we approached them, he had members of the PAX open and read them. On our journey to the Ark, we did:

    Jump Squats x 15
    8 count Bodybuilders x 10
    Luigis x 10 (This is a PIckaxe original spawned from a Mario video game wherein a short, fat Italian plumber falls down, does some movement only possible through coding, and arrives in an erect posture. In practice, it must be modified from its video precision, and basically looks like a burpee where you turn over on your back before you jump up.)

    For the second half of our journey to Noah’s, we karaoked. Once at the Ark, our leader had us partner up for the following:

    Burpees x 120
    Freak Nasties x 240
    Crunchy Frogs x 360 (We missed you, Cowbell!)

    Cumulative, done by one while the other partner ran around the Ark.
    As an aside, the human body is not designed to do 360 Crunchy Frogs. Just an aside.

    On the mosey back, Pickaxe saved the most brutal Easter Egg for last. Another Pickaxe original that he made up one night as his father begged him not to! Boom-Shaka-Lakas! What is that you ask? It is a “different” kind of cadence exercise. While Pickaxe said “Boom-Shaka-Laka, Shaka-Laka, Shaka-Laka, Shaka-Laka, Boom…”

    Now, we started doing Merkins, then when he said Boom, we turned over into a crab-walk like position to do what can only be described as elevated Wife Pleasers (Hip Thrusters according to Pickaxe ;). Nonstop. 20 of them. There was almost Mutiny on the Bounty. Had our Q been old enough to see a PG-13 movie, there almost certainly would have been! However, his leadership and willingess to push all us old dudes is actually inspiring (if YHC does say so himself.)

    Back at the flag, we did some Mary, ran to the Gazebo and back, Name-o-Rama, COT. We had one FNG, Pickaxe’s younger brother, who happened to turn 7 on this day. He wanted to come out to F3 to support Pickaxe. His older brother gave him a ridiculously awesome name that he made his dad call him the rest of the day.

    As Pickaxe shared, his brother once cut his foot on a chainsaw…so welcome, Chainsaw! It was a special day for both Pickaxe and Chainsaw. Shooter bequeathed the Freedom Hammer to Pickaxe’s care for the time being, and the PAX sang Chainsaw Happy Birthday. Be it known that later that day, Chainsaw and his friends “played F3”, with Chainsaw as Q.

    Thank you to all for allowing yourselves to be led by a 9 year old, and for making a 7 year old’s birthday so special. Their dad just might be proud of them.

  • Intensify to Modify: Pickaxe’s First Q

    It was a frigid morning along the lakefront the 2nd day of Christmas. While 9 year old Pickaxe, in his, ahem, first Q of his young F3 career, did not give a Tujague’s recipe for the crawfish caught in Arabi (Uptown Chalmette if you’re from Da Parish), he did come bearing gifts, 12 in fact. However, these were ones we COULD wait to open, as each contained 2 various and sundry exercises for the PAX, one on the foray out, one on the way back.

    Prethang:

    Pickaxe and his dad, The Hammer, forsook the traditional 2 mile pre-thang in order to lay the 12 gifts with great care along the 1/2 mile path to the beach. The 12 packages came in different colors: red, silver, and gold. This would be important, as Pickaxe instructed the color of each package determined the number of repetitions for the exercised contained therein, as well as the mode of transportation to the next box. The directive was as follows:

    Gold: 10 reps/each exercise, Karaoke to next box

    Red: 20 reps/each exercise, sprint to next box

    Silver: 30 reps/each exercise, bear crawl to next box.

    Full Disclosure: When assisting Pickaxe with laying out the gifts, The Hammer was only thinking of the challenges on the way out. As such, the way out brought a long (read: 200 yard) sprint followed by a short bear crawl. On the way back, however, that meant a 200 yard bear crawl. As Pickaxe would say, “Intensify to Modify”.

    Each member of the PAX would take turns opening the gifts, then calling out the exercise they “unwrapped”, there being 24 in total, covering upper body, lower body, and core. A particularly tough gauntlet was a series of 30 8 count bodybuilders, with a bear crawl leading to 20 burpees, followed by a long sprint. Pickaxe insisted the exercises were blindly placed in each box so that he knew not the order, nor the quantity. This series caused some to question the 9 year old. Intensify to modify.

    When the PAX returned to the flag, we circled up for Mary, finishing up with Hello Dollies, Freddy Mercuries, 100s, and a Mission Impossible plank (SIDENOTE: The series/movies should be named Mission Improbable, not Impossible. Think about it. If true, it would’ve been a single episode series, and the ending would not have been a happy one.)

    COT, then Russo prayed us out. Pickaxe is grateful to have had the opportunity to lead, and his dad is grateful to befriend a group of men that would give him the opportunity to do so. Merry Christmas, God Bless, and SYITG!