F3 New Orleans

Tag: The Birdcage

  • Grants Tomb – from Akbar

    Mild, foggy gloom this Saturday as 10 took the red pill for Grants Tomb. In honor of Ulysses S. Grant, our 18th president who adorns the $50 bill, we would mosey around doing 50 reps up and down the Lakefront.

    Fun Fact: Grant was invited to Ford’s Theater by President Lincoln on the night of Lincoln’s assassination, but he turned him down.

    Warm up x 15 IC. SSH, Hillbilly, IW, arm circles, self love, shoulder taps, grass grabbers and other things

    Mosey to the Shaft for Grants Tomb: 25 reps on the wall, various styles of Mosey @ 25-30 yards, 25 reps at the other end, mosey back.

    George Thorogood’s, Bear Crawl, Tuck Jumps
    Freak Nasty, Sprint, Superman
    Peter Parker, Crab Walk, Donkey Kick
    Stone Mountain, Sprint, Copperhead Squat
    Squat Jump, Long Skip, High Knees
    Plank Jacks, Murder Bunny, Shoulder Taps
    Good Mornings, Sprint, Big Boy Situps
    Irkin, Sprint, Apollo Ohno’s

    Mosey toward the Gazebo for abs:

    Flutter kick, 20 s Left side plank
    Leg Raises, 20 s Right Side Plank
    Crunchy Frogs, Mountain Climbers
    Hello Dolly, Superman
    American Hammers, J’Los
    Rosalita , Scuba Steve

    Mosey to the flag for several sets of below exercises x 10 IC

    Merkins Stone Mountain, 8 count Body Builder, LBC’s, and finish with 100 100’s

    Announcements: Run Cajun Run sign up for February; Grundy’s Nightmare After Christmas end of January.

    Count, Name, and UHC prayed us out.

    SYITG,

    Akbar

  • KISS with Crucial Taunt – from Jose10k

    Late Friday evening, when everyone else was busy pretending their weekend plans were too important to sweat it out, I decided to keep it “simple stupid” and crank out a Murph at the marsh. Because why not combine the serenity of nature with a borderline masochistic workout, right?

    We kicked things off with a quick warm-up around the flag—mostly to loosen up, but also to stall and hope for a miracle excuse to skip leg day. No such luck. Straight to the marsh we moseyed, where we proceeded to grind through 20 sets of 5 pull-ups, 10 push-ups, and 20 squats.

    Now, here’s where the comedy gold begins. You’ve got Bird over there doing jump squats with a full spin like he’s auditioning for Cirque du Soleil, and Zoolander showing off with thumb-only pull-ups and one-legged inverted Bulgarian split squats. The rest of us? Oh, we were doing our own kind of heavy lifting—debating whether Guns N’ Roses could out-mosh New Kids on the Block, swapping embarrassing stories about our ‘90s crushes, and contemplating if VH1’s Behind the Music counts as cardio.

    After wrapping up the Murph and rethinking life choices, we moved on to some Lt. Dan lunge-walking—because who doesn’t love a good Forrest Gump reference in the middle of quad destruction? We finally ran into Grundy, who had been “enthusiastically” searching for us by running laps around the lakefront. (Sure, buddy. We believe you.)

    Stop signs became our new nemeses, where we busted out 20 squats at each one. At the second-to-last stop, we switched it up with two rounds of 20 penguins and 20 LBCs because nothing screams camaraderie like flapping around like aquatic birds. A few brave souls sprinted to the flag to finish strong while the rest of us casually redefined what counts as a “sprint.”

    We wrapped up with C.O.T., where Russo prayed us out, undoubtedly asking for divine intervention to heal our sore muscles and to forgive Bird and Zoolander for showing us all up.

    Thanks for letting me lead, gentlemen. Next time, let’s try something harder—like keeping a straight face when Zoolander breaks out those one-legged shenanigans again.

  • Let’s start this party with a bang – from Jose10k

    A bunch of gentlemen got together this morning to finally put forth an epic beatdown worthy of the first day of 2025. Bushwhacker was first up, it was Round Robin style, and of course Bushwhacker started off giving a wonderful description of his beatdown. The detailed, thought out approach was mesmerizing. His intensity is legendary, however, Ten minutes later, he just simply called out 100-100s and he was done. Next up was Bird. Bird gave us his infamous yoga workout, which was unbelievably increasingly difficult. Stretches, handstands, where he walked around with three people on both of his feet while he was handstanding on one arm. Epic. Akbar kept it simple: 3 rounds of Stone Mountains increasing by 5 up the street, then decreasing by 5 back down. Grundy was up next. That’s when he brought out 2 100 pound sandbags and a spear. We each took turns trying to hit the unlucky man carrying the sandbags with the spear. Luckily, no one could hit the broad side of a barn. But we did hear Grundy yell “ If you think you want to quit, don’t quit! JV was grumble grumble, but more pissed about the pace for next years turkey trot. Next up was Einstein with Star Jacks and the. Norwegian speed skater workout. we hate him for that. Next up was Fledge with hot sauce. We always enjoy the hot sauce, it’s good stuff. BBQ was up with some, uh, Al Gore Thorough Goods, and a cadence that was very, very questionable. And of course, there was Hammer, and Hammer simply said, let’s do burpees, while giving us random 80s and 90s pop culture trivia. Shooter had donkey kicks. Hate donkey kicks. And those damn dice and jump rope. Ken from Humana will beat you down, but get you a great deal on healthcare with his own personal birthday celebrations. Shooter than called out for Steve to go next. Steve with his Bulgarian Split Squats and his cracking burpees. I’m so sick of those, Steve. The next person up on the list, well, it was Moby. Oh, Moby and that damn chain. I’m so sick of that chain. But at 74, soon to be 75, I guess he can do whatever the hell he wants. Zoolander was next up, and he doesn’t have a signature exercise, but god dang, does he not just look dapper. He was wearing those iconic aviator sunglasses and the feathered hair just in a perfect form. It’s epic. Waterpik and his perfect squats. Perfect form, and then a nice, you know, three-mile jog to warm us all up. And then while we’re doing all that, my nephew Speedy comes around the corner after running 15 miles with a four-minute, three-thirty-second pace. And then there was somebody going, huh? And that was Frank from Rommel trying to wrestle Russo down to the ground to try to convince him that Forrest Gump was the greatest movie ever made. All Russo wanted to do was a round of “Never have I ever” , and I’m still not convinced of the rules. While that was going on, Cowbell ran by on mile six of his jog this morning. We all then did our best Christopher Walken impression. All in all, none of this actually happened because Moby and I were the only two stupid idiots to get up on New Year’s Day. But I included all the gentlemen I could possibly think of to summarize the 2024 F3 beatdowns that I’ve grown to love and hate. But just wanted to give shout outs to people that if you made the list, you had of great importance to me. And if you did not mention you, I’ll just honest with you, I’m delirious on about 3 hours of sleep. SYITG

  • December Flickerball Challenge – from TruCoat

    A robust group assembled Saturday morning for some friendly strife on the Northshore Flickerball Field and a bit of personal challenge. The group began the work-out by competing in an abbreviated IronPAX 2022 Challenge, CARE BEAR SQUARED. Each competitor completed several iterations of a 100-yard course, with sets of 25 air squats, merkins, big boy sit-ups, and burpees interspersed by different forms of the bear crawl. Most hit the intended mark of 250 reps or 2.5 total iterations in the 20 minutes allotted.

    With the warm-up complete, we turned to the main event, Youth versus Beauty (Seniors) in a 25-minute game of flickerball. As expected, the Seniors built momentum early and took the lead as Zoolander whizzed one into the narrow goal. The game remained 1 to nil despite constant attacks by the Seniors, with the Youth’s star defended, Dukes of Hazzard, devoting his body multiple times to the ensure a solid defense! Dukes’ dedication sparked several inspired runs by the Youth, capped off three times by the unstoppable Brexit. With the score flipped in the Youths favor and time winding down, the Seniors launched multiple attacks to no avail. The game ended dramatically with a ball in the Lake drifting towards New Orleans. Bushwacker, aka WaterBoy-Aquaman, bravely entered the ice-cold, gator infested waters to retrieve the ball and commit to a re-match against the Youth one day. Prayer and coffee followed.

  • Bleeping Walls of Jericho, VQ – from Ballz Deep

    As the light dappled across lake Ponchartrain, it was clear in @Chewy’s eyes he regretted posting. In fact, on this day, @Ballz Deep’s VQ, I think he regretted EH’ing me 9ish months ago.

    Arm circlesx10forward/x10backward, hillbilly walkersx10, ass grabbersx10 (thanks @Jose 10K I need to practice that Exicon!), windmillsx10, and side straddle hopsx25 for the warmup. I empathize with @Brexit, as English is his second language, in learning cadence. That stuff is hard!!

    Mosey’d to The Shaft, where accelerated fitness awaited us.

    Main Workout: Shuttle Run “bleep test” and Wall of Jericho.

    Shuttle Run level + Wall of Jericho had to equal 12. i.e. – level 5 shuttle run finish, leaves you with 7 rounds of the Wall of Jericho workout. Wall of Jericho (7 exercises of 7 reps +1 lap around cones and The Shaft) were Plank Jacks, SMKs (2 is 1), Burpees, Air Squats, Mountain Climbers (2 is 1), American Twists (2 is 1), and Flutter Kicks (2 is 1).
    A round of 7s (mtn climbers and flutter kicks) plus Indian Run and a plank-0-rama closed us out.

    Chance, Buttsplice’s nephew, joined us! FNG named WetSocks, for his astounding ability to run from the Shaft to Homebase in a pair of socks.

    P.S – I believe I’m forgetting the 16th PAX. I’m sorry. Reply if you remember, and I’ll edit/add you.

    SYITG!

  • Great Scott!!! – from Jose10k

    10/26/1955
    Marty’s journey through time begins on October 26, 1985, when he accidentally travels back to 1955 during a mishap with the DeLorean. His adventures in the past, including meeting his teenage parents, inadvertently shape his future. Marty must ensure that his parents meet and fall in love, or risk altering the course of his own existence. His race against time makes for a thrilling and humorous story that has become a hallmark of the movie.
    Which is why I am curious, how has JV not seen this classic? Netflix homework brother.

    Warm-Up: Preparing for Time Travel (5 minutes) Power of Love by Huey Lewis and News

    Jog to Noah’s Arc: Modified Dora (Great Scott)

    Phase 1: Time for 88mph, we will 88 burpees, partner 1 runs the arc while partner 2 does burpees

    Phase 2: “1.21 Gigawatts “ What the hell is Gigawatt? Dora again, partner 1 runs a loop, while partner 2 does merkins- Team total is 121.
    1.21 Gigawatts again, this time with a twist, each person has to do 121 squats individually while their partner runs a loop. Two loops were needed.

    Phase 3: 1955 – “Skateboard Escape”
    This phase is inspired by Marty’s quick thinking and agility as he escapes Biff’s gang.

    1. Bear Crawls – ½ way up, jog the rest of the way
    Imagine you’re dodging around obstacles.
    2. Side lunges 10 on each side, at the top of the arc, rinse and repeat
    3. Walking Lunges – up the arc and back to strengthen your legs to escape Biff

    Phase 4: Enchantment Under the Sea dance-
    Johnny B Goode- SSH to the whole song of Johnny Be Good

    Phase 3: Back in Time. Time to get Marty back to the future with Reverse lunges all the way around Noah’s Arc. Back in Time by Huey Lewis and Earth Angel as well. With a minute left it was a quick run back to the flag. COT with intentions for my family with the passing of my Aunt Patty. Thanks for letting me lead, thanks for reading the back blast. SYITG

  • Celeste and Lisa’s Donkey Kick-Off on the Escalator – from Russo

    Great Saturday at the Lakefront

    Warmup (10x – 15x IC)
    Air presses
    Torso twists
    Self love
    Toe touches
    Grass grabbers
    Hillbillies
    High knees
    Seal jacks

    Thang: Mosey down Girod to the trailhead and back, stopping along the way for a round of “the escalator”, aka “Chewy’s Soduku. The concept: 10 exercises, 10 rounds. Rep count goes from 10 to 1. Next round: 10 rep count moves to 9, 9 moves to 8, rinse and repeat. At the end of 10 rounds, each of the 10 exercises will have been performed 55 times. Math!

    The exercises:
    Merkins
    Partner Merkins
    8 count body builders
    Donkey kicks
    Leg raises
    Gas pumps
    Jump squats
    Imperial squat walkers
    Star jumps
    Murder Bunnies

    Somewhere in the middle, to break up monotony and provide a little halftime entertainment, YHC challenged Bird to a “donkey kick-off”…select your winner and get it right, and you’re exempt from that round. The rules were not clear, nor was the starting gun, so despite YHC winning round 1, there was a round 2, won by Bird. Choosing to hedge the bet, we called it at a tie until further notice.

    Back at the flag, we wrapped up with the COT, Name-o-Rama, and prayer, welcoming FNG Cankles!

    Thank you all for participating in the now yearly tradition of forgoing at least one week of IronPax.

    SYITG

  • Cakewalk – from Russo

    Warmup (10x IC)
    Air presses
    Torso twists
    Self love
    Toe touches
    Grass grabbers
    Hillbillies

    Thang
    Cakewalk as we moseyed around block by block – each year represented by the Billboard Number One song (to remain objective)

    46 IC SSHs
    2023 Morgan Wallen “Last Night”

    45 Butt kicks
    2022 Glass Animals “Heat Waves”

    44 High knees
    2021 Dua Lipa “”Levitating”

    43 seal jacks
    2020 The Weeknd “Blinding Lights”

    42 Plank Jacks
    2019 Lil Nas X “Old Town Road”

    41 goof balls
    2018 Drake “God’s Plan”

    40 squats
    2017 Ed Sheeran “Shape of You”

    39 Hello Dollies
    2016 Justin Bieber “Love Yourself”

    38 Calf raises
    2015 Mark Robson “Uptown Funk”

    37 Apollo Ohno’s
    2014 Pharrell Williams “Happy”

    36 Freak Nastys
    2013 Macklemore & Ryan Lewis “Thrift Shop”

    35 step ups
    2012 Gotye “Somebody that I Used to Know”

    34 flutter kicks
    2011 Adele “Rolling in the Deep”

    33 cherry pickers
    2010 Ke$ha “Tik Tok”

    32 Peter Parker’s
    2009 The Black Eyed Peas “Boom Boom Pow”

    31 imperial walkers
    2008 Flo Rida “Low”

    30 Shoulder taps (2 is 1)
    2007 Beyoncé “Irreplaceable”

    29 American hammers
    2006 Daniel Powter “Bad Day”

    28 Monkey Humpers
    2005 Mariah Carey “We Belong Together”

    27 Merkins
    2004 Usher “Yeah”

    26 Smurf jacks
    2003 50 Cent “In Da Club”

    25 leg raises
    2002 Nickelback “How You Remind Me”

    24 Rosalitas
    2001 Lifehouse “Hanging by a Moment”

    23 crab jacks (crab position – think reverse
    plank jacks)
    2000 Faith Hill “Breathe”

    22 groiners
    1999 Cher “Believe”

    21 Bear crawls (counting your right hand as a rep)
    1998 Next “Too Close”

    20 murder bunnies
    1997 Elton John “Candle in the Wind”

    19 Wide merkins
    1996 Los Del Rio “Macarena”

    18 Bobby Hurley’s
    1995 Coolio “Gangsta’s Paradise”

    17 crab cakes
    1994 Ace of Base “The Sign”

    16 circle ups
    1993 Whitney Houston “I Will Always Love You”

    15 Bulgarian split squats
    1992 Boyz II Men “End of the Road”

    14 durkins
    1991 Brian Adams “I Do It for You”

    13 big boy sit-ups
    1990 Wilson Phillips “Hold On”

    12 LMCs IC
    1989 Chicago “Look Away”

    11 diamond merkins
    1988 George Michael “Faith”

    10 star jumps
    1987 The Bangles “Walk Like an Egyptian”

    9 donkey kicks
    1986 Dionne Warwick “That’s What Friends Are For”

    8 wife pleasers
    1985 Wham! “Careless Whisper”

    7 merkins
    1984 Prince “When Doves Cry”

    6 Boxcutters
    1983 The Police “Every Breath You Take”

    5 Carolina dry docks
    1982 Olivia Newton-John “Physical”

    4 SMCs (2 is 1)
    1981 Kim Carnes “Bette Davis Eyes”

    3 jump squats
    1980 Blondie “Call Me”

    2 burpees
    1979 The Knack “My Sharona”

    1 minute plank
    1978
    Andy Gibbons “Shadow Dancing”

    COT, Name-o-Rama, and prayer to wrap up.

    Thank you all for joining and SYITG

  • Cakewalk – from Russo

    Warmup (10x IC)
    Air presses
    Torso twists
    Self love
    Toe touches
    Grass grabbers
    Hillbillies

    Thang
    Cakewalk as we moseyed around block by block – each year represented by the Billboard Number One song (to remain objective)

    46 IC SSHs
    2023 Morgan Wallen “Last Night”

    45 Butt kicks
    2022 Glass Animals “Heat Waves”

    44 High knees
    2021 Dua Lipa “”Levitating”

    43 seal jacks
    2020 The Weeknd “Blinding Lights”

    42 Plank Jacks
    2019 Lil Nas X “Old Town Road”

    41 goof balls
    2018 Drake “God’s Plan”

    40 squats
    2017 Ed Sheeran “Shape of You”

    39 Hello Dollies
    2016 Justin Bieber “Love Yourself”

    38 Calf raises
    2015 Mark Robson “Uptown Funk”

    37 Apollo Ohno’s
    2014 Pharrell Williams “Happy”

    36 Freak Nastys
    2013 Macklemore & Ryan Lewis “Thrift Shop”

    35 step ups
    2012 Gotye “Somebody that I Used to Know”

    34 flutter kicks
    2011 Adele “Rolling in the Deep”

    33 cherry pickers
    2010 Ke$ha “Tik Tok”

    32 Peter Parker’s
    2009 The Black Eyed Peas “Boom Boom Pow”

    31 imperial walkers
    2008 Flo Rida “Low”

    30 Shoulder taps (2 is 1)
    2007 Beyoncé “Irreplaceable”

    29 American hammers
    2006 Daniel Powter “Bad Day”

    28 Monkey Humpers
    2005 Mariah Carey “We Belong Together”

    27 Merkins
    2004 Usher “Yeah”

    26 Smurf jacks
    2003 50 Cent “In Da Club”

    25 leg raises
    2002 Nickelback “How You Remind Me”

    24 Rosalitas
    2001 Lifehouse “Hanging by a Moment”

    23 crab jacks (crab position – think reverse
    plank jacks)
    2000 Faith Hill “Breathe”

    22 groiners
    1999 Cher “Believe”

    21 Bear crawls (counting your right hand as a rep)
    1998 Next “Too Close”

    20 murder bunnies
    1997 Elton John “Candle in the Wind”

    19 Wide merkins
    1996 Los Del Rio “Macarena”

    18 Bobby Hurley’s
    1995 Coolio “Gangsta’s Paradise”

    17 crab cakes
    1994 Ace of Base “The Sign”

    16 circle ups
    1993 Whitney Houston “I Will Always Love You”

    15 Bulgarian split squats
    1992 Boyz II Men “End of the Road”

    14 durkins
    1991 Brian Adams “I Do It for You”

    13 big boy sit-ups
    1990 Wilson Phillips “Hold On”

    12 LMCs IC
    1989 Chicago “Look Away”

    11 diamond merkins
    1988 George Michael “Faith”

    10 star jumps
    1987 The Bangles “Walk Like an Egyptian”

    9 donkey kicks
    1986 Dionne Warwick “That’s What Friends Are For”

    8 wife pleasers
    1985 Wham! “Careless Whisper”

    7 merkins
    1984 Prince “When Doves Cry”

    6 Boxcutters
    1983 The Police “Every Breath You Take”

    5 Carolina dry docks
    1982 Olivia Newton-John “Physical”

    4 SMCs (2 is 1)
    1981 Kim Carnes “Bette Davis Eyes”

    3 jump squats
    1980 Blondie “Call Me”

    2 burpees
    1979 The Knack “My Sharona”

    1 minute plank
    1978
    Andy Gibbons “Shadow Dancing”

    COT, Name-o-Rama, and prayer to wrap up.

    Thank you all for joining and SYITG

  • Resist the PSL – from Sea Man

    PSL’s are coming and only a gun show will stop them!

    Mosey around the lot to pickup late arrivals Tube Steak and Willie (of course) and to the field in front of the zoo for standard warm up and Tantric Arm Circles.

    On to the statue for the Dora
    100 Shoulder Taps 2:1
    200 Dips
    300 Inclined Mercs

    Followed it up with Lunge back pedal around the loop while partner did LBCs, LBT to the Right, LBT to the left.

    Back to the field for Jack Web’s. After much whining about 10 we finished our 10 tantric Arm Circles and on to the flag.