F3 New Orleans

Tag: Tighty Whitey

  • Fat Tuesday Tuff- Volume 2: Texaco Cat has Unfinished Business – from Paradox

    “What is a Mardi Gras?” YHC asked. Standing in the playground of Homer Elementary , YHC was at that tender age of naivety when it seems coaches have all the answers to life’s questions. My PE coach cinched up his grey Riddell shorts (you know the ones) around a considerable beer gut and confidently informed me:

    “ Yea Owens, well it’s pretty much a bunch of idiots get drunk and dress up like fools with their friends then give up bread or something ….why don’t you go cover first base and maybe ask your parents”

    9 year old YHC trotted out to first base safely tucking Mardi Gras into my “Bobby Bouche: Things That are the Devil” folder, right beside football, MTV and any activities after 8pm.
    Thankfully it didn’t stay tucked away for long as God put YHC on a path towards south La and I would soon be in a free men’s workout group where the chatter de jour was usually “how to say pirogue” or “whether potato salad and gumbo should ever touch each other”. It’s one of the many fine attributes of this thing we call F3, somedays my virgin ears hear Depeche Mode and can never regain innocence and others days if I’m the lucky downwind pax, I get a fartlek taste in the air of last night’s Cajun cuisine. So, todays beatdown would be a wild hodge-podge of Mardi Gras learned, observed and practiced from a North La transplant.

    LEGAL DISCLAIMER: In the court case filed as Mr. Ronnie Lillickk vs the Pax of F3 Thibodaux the ruling of the jury was that YHCs north La version of Mardi Gras does not represent all North La transplants. Furthermore, there are many fine intelligent people form this part of the state.

    Duke! I know you are the King of Barkus this year but you still have to roll the beautiful footage!!

    Warmup
    YHC moseyed in from deep Richman territory adorned in only the finest cheap plastic gadgetry that Houma CVS could offer. Running right into a welcome sight of none other than Tidy Whitey!! He got a few highlighter stick pops as penance for 500 plus missed beatdowns but was welcomed back with much hoopla and praise! With 8 more pax ready to roll we got down to business with the usuals as YHCs outfit could not withstand even a few SSHs, one hates to see it. A bumper/stop sign mosey was in order to get the legs pumping and begin racking up some RCR miles.

    THANG 1
    Mardi Gras Mambo –The Meters

    Traditional F3 Thibodaux style with Merkins on Mambo and Donkey Kicks on “Down in New Orleans”. This song goes down in F3 Thib lore. In its debut the line “it takes a cool cat to blow a horn” was translated (by YHCS caffeine riddled brain) into “Texaco Cat blows a horn” and the legend of Texaco Cat still lives on . YHC has always imagined Texaco Cat as a north La gas station attendant that’s strong as an ox, knows his rights and has a bumper sticker on his hemi Dodge Ram that says “kids who fish and hunt don’t steal and deal”.

    YHC gave the disclaimer that proper form would be observed and rewarded. Yankee Jeaux was locked in early and often in this beatdown and took the merkin form title easily. He was then granted the Tutu of Power and the Flashing Stick of Trust to lead us as the Grand Merkin Marshal in an Indian Run Parade with 3 drop off LBCs ( ya gotta find dat baby in da king cake shah! Piyyyyahhhh)

    Onward to the beginning of Richmans loop for “Throw me something Mister”, originating from a younger ignorant YHC speculating that maybe all those cajuns are just angrily throwing stuff around because they got all them teeth and no teethbrush (ok I’ve reached my second Waterboy reference and I promise that’s it)

    PAX partnered up with a goal of transporting both pax and 1 tennis ball to the far corner of RL. Mode of transport was mosey then catch a “throw” from your partner. Rinse and repeat with 3 “Hi 5” burpee penalty for a drop. Ended up in a two horse race with Goose/Cuz vs YJ/AB enjoying a reduced burpee penalty at the finish line. The rest of the us enjoying a 10 burpee appetizer.

    THANG 2

    Next up Mardi Gras Trivia to represent YHCs schooling years when I began to figure out the Rubiks cube holiday of mardi gras and Lent.

    Correct Answer- run/nur 1/2 road to port a jeaux
    Incorrect – run /nur full road to cones and back

    1-Name all three states in which Fat Tuesday is recognized as a State Holiday.
    ANSWER: LA, AL, FL- With a little prodding we got this correct.

    **LEGAL DISCLAIMER: In the case of Mr./Future Dr. Maught vs the people of Florida the jury has come to a decision that he was in fact “not raised here” but does at times display Floridian characteristics and is able to leverage their politicians for social media clout.

    2-Carnival comes from the Latin phrase Carne Vale meaning what?
    ANSWER: Farewell to Meat – YHC was feeling gracious after those penalty burpees and helped a bit on this one.

    3- This on screen Batman served as King Bachus?
    Michael Keaton was correct with a surprising lack of controversy that Michael Keaton was the GOAT on screen Batman. YHC was ready for a good ole donnybrook if anyone said the word Clooney.

    4- New Orleans cancelled Mardi Gras parades in 1870 due to an outbreak of this disease?
    ANSWER: Yellow fever – Correct and a very safe guess for any illness before the 20th century.

    5- Krewe of Zulu tosses what coveted Mardi Gras trinket during the parade each year?
    “Coconut” was immediately given as an answer then contested that this was incomplete and YHCs brief internet research led him to believe it was only GOLD coconuts. YHC will now award post beatdown points that this was acceptable and letters of condolence have been sent to all who ran that extra eighth of a mile.

    THANG 3

    Only in the last 3 years has YHC come to fully appreciate Mardi Gras as part of the yearly feast before we begin our Lenten fasting. After some exicon research YHC found the Cooper to be a great representation of contrasted feast/fast with some potential RCR mileage sprinkled in .
    The (mini and abbreviated ) Cooper
    *editors note- a full Cooper is 10 merkins, squats, burpees with a quarter mile run in between each round
    Fast- Run 1/4 Mile (alley/straight away/alley and back )
    Feast – 7merkins , 7burpees, 7 squats

    The crew got about 3 rounds into this before YHC realized we were a touch behind schedule and called an Omaha at the line. We finished the 5 rep and 3 rep rounds at the corners of the loop then sprinted for home.

    Counting, naming and welcoming the prodigal Tighty Whitey return!

    InVESTment given to Cuz for his willingness to wear a hat and play the part of “that guy at the parade that bases his whole life on defending Bud Light”.

    COT and Cuz prayed us out

    Grateful to show up each day and improve the mind , body, and spirit with you fellas.

    See you in the Gloom

    Paradox

  • The St. Vincent 500 – from Paradox

    Our tale begins in the spring of 2022 in a small bayou town where a community pharmacy, after taking losses from storm and plague, had great need. After decades of providing vital prescription medicine for those in need, this team of volunteers now searched for the same helping hand. The Pax of F3 Thibodaux heard the call, and a plan was devised. We consulted our sage leader for advice. This HIM had carried the torch of 3Fs from the Mandevillage many moons ago. He knew the way of the pax and was skilled in the smithing of a fine beatdown. He peered into the gloom with a thousand-mile stare and the fate of the fundraiser hung in the balance. “if you build it..they will come” Goose said with a nod and then promptly vanished into a flurry of burpees. With a team formed and a grant secured we dove into the work.
    An event was needed and a place to rally the pax. A race, but not just any race. A challenge of physical and mental strength that would call to the hearts of the Louisiana PAX. A series of pain and cardiovascular torture so intense that no self-respecting HIM of F3 Nola could resist. It was forged in the caves of .word files and hammered through the gmail circuit boards. Welded to perfection one station at a time. A burpee here, a bonnie blair there. Precious metals adorned it at every corner to award prepared pax but many traps lay waiting for poor form. It was written, and it was done and it was beautiful.

    The beacons of aid were lit! Thibodaux called for aid…and our brothers answered.
    39 PAX (including 6 FNGs!) assembled at the stage on a gorgeous bayou morning! They came from northern shores and from western banks. From uptowns and motherships. From Grannies and Lakefronts. They came in calf sleeves, mudgears and some even bare of foot! Namesakes that struck fear like Shooter and Tanked. Some that drew intrigue like Hokie and Hawg. Famed backblasters we had read for years like Steve and Akbar. Even legends of the gloom like Frac and the Reluctant Yankee, who were there when the deep magic was gifted to us from the eastern coast. They followed a lonesome bayou road and mumbled Deliverance jokes along the way. They came as one to help a great cause and lock shields with their brothers in the bayou. The course was set, pleasantries exchanged, and the only thing left to do was make a run at 500. Let’s get to it…

    Warmup

    Goose gave the disclaimer and race details, and pointed out key safety and strategy reminders. Each two-person pax team would start at a numbered station along the course. Once the horn was blown, they would begin at their station and advance. Each station had 3 options: bronze, silver or gold. (Worth 10, 15 and 25 points respectively. So, a perfect score of gold at all 20 stations would reach the mythical 500 points. These corresponded to the number of reps completed by a team combined. They then would grab the token and secure it in an advanced technology carrying case (Ziploc bag). Head for the next station and rinse and repeat until you have finished 20 stations or ran out of time.
    After this was explained he led a thunderous cadence of our usuals stage warmups. This was YHCs first experience with a >20 pax group and the big group energy was powerful

    THE THANG

    Pair up, line up and we were numbered off 1-19 (one team of 3). Each team headed for their station and when GI Joe hit the airhorn it was geaux time. The stations were as follows:

    STATIONS:
    1. Merkins- 40, 80, 120
    2. Bobby Hurleys—30, 60, 90
    3. Freddy Mercuries—50, 100, 200
    4. Coupon Curls—40, 60, 100
    5. SSH: 50, 100, 150
    6. Carolina Dry Docks- 40, 60, 100
    7. Big Boy Sit Ups- Partner does big boys, one partner sprints to next station and back. 100, 150, 200 situps
    8. Side lunges (2 is 1)- 40, 80, 120
    9. Coupon OHP- 40, 60, 100
    10. Burpees- 30, 50, 100
    11. LBC’s- 50, 100, 200
    12. Peter Parker Merkins- 30, 60, 90
    13. Bonnie Blair (2 is 1) 40, 60, 100
    14. Brick Back Flys- 50, 100, 200
    15. Leg Raise Dora – One partner Leg raises, one partner bear crawl to next station and run back. 50, 100 or 200
    16. Mission Impossible Plank- combined time: 1 minute, 2 minutes, 5 minutes
    17. Coupon Swings- 40, 60, 100
    18. Prisoner Squats – 50, 100, 150
    19. Mountain Climber (2:1) 50, 100, 200
    20. Arm Circles while partner crabwalks to next station and runs back. Complete 100, 200, or 400

    After 1 hour of “Pax vs St. Vincent course” the dust settled and everyone returned to the flag. Chatter was high about the difficulty of the layout, the supreme fun had traversing the course and low rumblings of scores north of 400 permeated the air. A few teams completed counting up their coins while we began the count off, and name off. YHC was impressed with the veteran naming experience of NOLA and northshore pax. Their FNG naming skills were unparalled and we left with six newly minted local PAX: Welcome Sir Lawrence, Kodiak (CodyYak), MeatSweats, One Call, Wallflower and Lambchops. Looking forward to getting yall in the mix.

    Now down to serious business. YHC and Goose dramatically unveiled the official St. Vincent 500 dual trophies for the final presentation. Imagine a 12-inch manifestation of the love child between Hulk and Stretch Armstrong, in a full rage pose. Victory is all he has ever known. After appropriate oooohhhhs and ahhhhsss Goose led a suspenseful point count-off to see who the last team was standing. In the end, the combination of Tanked Up and Speedy Gonzalez tallied 470 points and took home the first annual St. Vincent 500 trophy! T- Claps on those numbers gentlemen. Phenomenal effort. We’ll all be gunning for you next year.

    Coffeeteria after provided by our St. Vincent de Paul board and it was great to get a chance to talk shop with all the pax and compare notes on course strategy.

    YHC could not have envisioned the tremendous amount of support we would receive from both our local community and our F3 community for this cause.
    So grateful for each one of you who spent your weekend time and energy for this event.

    At the time of writing this backblast we have raised $10, 451. 51!! This goes directly to purchase of prescription medicine for those individuals in need. Praise God!

    Thank you for the oppurtunity to lead.

    SYITG,
    Paradox

  • All Aboard the Nostalgia Train – from Paradox

    Louisiana summers always remind YHC of a childhood formed by endless pool days and blockbuster movie nights. (RIP video stores and God bless my parents for raising us in the pre streaming/iPad parenting era). Nothing better than rolling into the blockbuster with 5 bucks and having to make a single VHS selection with your siblings. Eyes still hazy with chlorine you scanned the not age-appropriate aisles and left with questions but always depended on the classics to take you home. Bring that baby to the counter, get reminded to “be kind and rewind” and you were just a trip to Pizza Hut away from a golden night in 1995. All of which suggests a list of what I consider to be the most formative movies during my upbringing, and we shall honor them today.

    A muggy yet comfortable Peltch met 4 PAX eager to get stronger. After a few flex sessions in our new shirts, we were ready to roll.

    Warmup
    The usual suspects and some cardio cleansers to get the furnace rolling. Tighty Whitey with a very respectable 6:03 arrival, Tclaps.
    SSH, GG, IW, WM, AC, Cherry Pickers, Mountain Climbers
    With a mosey to the Thunderdome we were all aboard the Nostalgia Train, transporting us back to the simpler times of our childhood…

    SpaceJam (1996) Fighting Monstars with MJ
    YHC rolled into the thunderdome in a blind panic realizing after a recent billing snafu my apple music account was not operating. Full tunnel vision set in as YHC planned humming the tune of the Space Jam theme song while an awkward 4 minutes passed by. Mumblechatter rose to a crescendo and some even blasphemed that there was trouble in JBL paradise. Goose stepped in and restored order to the beatdown with a Youtube recommendation and neurologic function returned to baseline. Its not lost on YHC that during the great Bluetooth wars of 2022 Team Anker could have used this situation for advantage but chose grace instead. There could be peace talks soon.

    Song -SpaceJam Theme Song via Youtube- Side shuffle suicides with a jump shot on SLAM and JAM. Followed by Ring of Fire Incline Merkins till we got to 96 (Space Jam Released in 1996). Yankee Joe correctly selected 1996 and seemed to have a knack for Year of movie selections for the entire beatdown.
    Mosey to Chimney and a great discussion about the definition of mumblechatter in all its forms.

    Ghostbusters (1984) Conquering our Foes with Science
    Song Ghostbusters by Ray Park: – Burpees on “GhostBusters”, IW on the rest of the song. Goose informed us that this was not Ray Park who became Darth Maul but actually Ray Park that did absolutely nothing else and we pondered how much he got in royalties from that gem.
    Partner up 200 Mountain climbers while partner does Zombie walks to the chimney and back.

    Homeward Bound (1992) Build the Bond, then put it to the test
    Partner up and completed 10 partner leg raises each x10, 3 rounds.
    Partner team went shoulder to shoulder for 10 step in lock step lunges then 10 merkins/10 squats while keeping tempo with your partner to chimney and back.

    Mosey to baseball Field via an Indiana Jones Temple of Doom run. The Last man in the Indian run drops off for 3 bonnie blairs then runs to catch up. After he “flattens” the pax, they all complete 5 merkins then repeat till we made it to the baseball field.

    Jurassic Park (1993) Hold on to your Butts!
    Partner up and one man does monkey humpers while the other does Trex lunges arond the bases. YHC intended these to be more of a skip but poor explanations had the PAX with full form lunges and everyones quads were gone pecan. (YHC was taught this phrase over the weekend and still figuring out how to use it)

    Mosey back to the flag and Yankee proclaimed He would not be endorsing YHCs dinosaur park!

    Just enough time for a little Extra Mary on the feast of her Immaculate Heart
    Dolphin Hops, Nolan Ryans, LBCs, Sweat Angels, Scuba Steve, Big Boys, Bicycles
    Announcement: Tuesdays now at Schriever Park at 6am, St. Vincent 500 registrations and station sponsorships

    Prayer Intentions
    COT and Yankee Joe prayed us out

    Great effort and some top notch mosey discussions today fellas, enjoyed it. Thanks for accommodating my schedule and allowing me to lead.

    SYITG
    PARADOX

  • A New AO? What the BLEEP?? – from Goose

    After Lumen Christi told us their retreat schedule was getting too packed to let a bunch of rowdy, burpeeing, snake biting, HIMs run around the otherwise quiet and reflective property every Tuesday morning, YHC made a quick hunt for a solution. The first choice was Schriever Park, and after making a visit on the way home from work, it was clear that it had great potential: playground equipment, benches galore, bleachers, baseball field, large fields of grass, and tennis courts. So, at 6am, 5 PAX hesitatingly made their way through the gate and into a new frontier. It doesn’t have an F3 name yet, but it certainly delivered this morning, and all were in agreement that we’d be back next Tuesday. (A little PTSD always keeps you coming back!)

    Warmup: When YHC didn’t start with SSH, the PAX had to pick their brains up off the grass, but it was premeditated; it was necessary. After starting with windmills and going through the rest of the usual routines, this time including high knees and butt kicks, YHC revealed that we’d be finishing with 29’s. It’s like 21’s, but today is Cardinal’s last day to be 29, so the theme was set.

    29’s: PAX do 29 SSH in cadence, but only the first 7 are counted out loud. Then, the rest are completed in silence, but if all the PAX didn’t stop exactly on 29, there would be a 10 burpee penalty. With 5 PAX, YHC was sure there would be burpees, especially with Enron’s tendencies with numbers. But, in one of the cleanest, most dramatic endings YHC has ever seen, all PAX stopped dead at exactly the same time. It was beautiful. It was inspiring. And we felt really good about ourselves for the last time that morning.

    Bleacher crawl merkins:
    Moseyed over to the baseball bleachers where all PAX crawled up one bleacher at a time completing three merkins (irkins) on each. Then, turned around and did the same thing coming down (headfirst, so three derkins on each).

    “29 Ways”:
    Moseyed to the Thunderdome 2.0 (smaller covered pavilion, but reminiscent of the large one at The Peltch). Played the song “29 Ways” by Marc Cohn, a favorite of YHC’s growing up and perfect for the day’s theme: 6 inch hold for the duration, leg raises on every “29”, and Hello Dollies for every “door” and “more”. This definitely ranks in the top 5 hardest songs this crew has done.

    BLEEP Test:
    YHC hadn’t heard of this until digging through the Exicon last night, but it seems like it’s a generally well known fitness routine/performance test. Using a Bleep Test app that beeps at shorter and shorter intervals over time, the PAX lined up on the tennis court and ran to a line 20 meters away at every beep. Anyone who couldn’t make it to the line before the next beep was “out” and had to complete continuous rounds of 29 squats, 29 air presses, and 29 toe touches until there was only one PAX remaining.
    The first few beeps were easy enough and gave the PAX plenty of time for a quick breath between runs, but that didn’t last long. It became clear pretty quickly that speed wasn’t what was needed for victory–it was oxygen. So, after one round, YHC reset the timer and lined us up for a second–there’s only one way to get better at this!
    We discussed future plans for all PAX to PR, then test again a few weeks/months later to mark improvement. Ought to be fun!

    29 burnout:
    Moseyed back to the Thunderdome 2.0, and in cadence, completed the following on the picnic tables: 29 L Leg stepups, 29 Freak Nasties, 29 R Leg stepups, 29 Irkins, 29 alternating stepups, and 29 Derkins.

    Moseyed to the flag for some Mary: 29 LBC’s IC, 29 Penguins IC, and 29 Big Boy Situps OYO (because Cardinal will be a big boy tomorrow!).

    COT and prayer with gratitude for a cool new AO, and on our way out, a walking couple stopped us to ask who we were. The guy was a Marine and law enforcement vet, and he was fired up to see us out there. Turns out, he’s also a pastor at a local Baptist church, and the likelihood is high that he’ll be FNG-ing soon, hopefully with some of his congregation to follow!

    Thanks for following my lead, guys, and for grinding it out today!
    SYITG,
    Goose

  • I Will Survive – from Paradox

    9 PAX met up at the airport of Peltier park to depart on an Alaskan moose hunt. Things started off safe enough with some casual warmup by the ball field: SSH, IW, WM, AC, cherry pickers, grass grabbers, high knees, butt kicks.
    We boarded our small engine plane and headed for the monkey bars. After a short layover to pick up Tighty Whitey (the red truck signals we are exactly 5 minutes into a beatdown) we settled in a for a nap with dreams of moose steaks dancing in our heads. That’s when all hell broke loose…

    THANG 1 STAMINA
    Your pilot had a massive MI and you have crash landed in a ravine in the middle of northern Canada. You find your friend hanging on a limb over the ravine and you must run back to the plane for supplies.
    Round1 : Partner 1 dead hang on monkey bars, Partner 2 sprint to thunder dome, 5 merkins, sprint back Flapjack
    (*Considering these dead hangs step 1/600 on our murph training journey)
    Once out of the ravine you come face to face with a pacific northwest rattlesnake and must wait while your partner runs through the jungle to get a machete.
    Round2: Partner 1 hold plank, Partner 2 10 jump squats traverse monkey bars, 10 jump squats
    Flapjack
    Your adrenaline is now torched so you stop by a stream for a sip of water andddd…..immediate dysentery. Your partner must go in search for the largest and softest leaf he can find. (shout out to Oregon Trail)
    Round 3: Partner 1 hold Al Gore, Partner 2 run to thunder dome for 10 freak nasties run back.
    Flapjack

    THANG 2 SPEED
    After recovering from dysentery you bump into a hive of Killer Bs (Canadian bees are different, its science)
    Canadian Killer B’s equal 5 Burpees, 5 BBSU, 5 Bonnie Blairs (2 is 1)
    During the duration of the song “I will survive” Gloria Gaynor

    All of this Killer bee commotion caught the attention of a grizzly bear and now the chase is on.
    Cones in Triangle formation at the Chimney
    Sprint to chimney, Nur to next cone. Bear Crawl back while Partner does R1 hillbilles, R2 MNC, R3 LBCs
    Several PAX wanted it known for the record that they would just take their chances with the bear instead of sprinting.

    Thang 3 STRENGTH
    You have successfully evaded the bear but your partner twisted his ankle and you need to get to the chopper evac zone.
    10 cones 10 yards apart
    Partner drag to cone. 5 power merkins, swap partner drag

    Care package Drop
    Another few miles and we’ll be home free.
    Indian Run, Last man drops off for 5 BBSU (care package) then catch up to front

    CHOPPER EVAC FINISHER
    While waiting on the chopper you and your partner decided to try out ice fishing and your partner fell in the lake. You have 5 minutes till the chopper arrives but you have to keep his heart rate up….

    Destinys Child- Survivor- SSH with Burpees on the word survivor. Finished very strong with the last 30 seconds of holding plank and merkins on the word survivor.

    Took the rescue chopper back to the Flag for some Mary: dolphin hops, BBSU, LBCS, penguins, Aus sweat angels, scuba steve. ALL IC X15-20

    Announcements: Continued preparations for our fundraiser the St. Vincent 500.
    Mudgear pre order coming soon.

    COT and Wet Tap prayed us out.

    I loved every minute of creating this one fellas. The effort for the JBL sponsored Survivor finisher was phenomenal. Congratulations! You all passed the Paradox survival camp and made it home to your families.

    Thanks for the opportunity to create and lead
    Till the next gloom
    Paradox

  • Coupon Love – from Goose

    YHC was too lazy to unload the coupons from the truck after yesterday, so we used them again this morning. A lot.
    PAX: Paradox, Paradiddle, Elmer’s, Tighty Whitey, and Goose

    Warmup: SSH, WM, AC, IW, SL, all while staring at the ominous pile of blocks on top of the hill.

    Thang 1: Hazy 8’s
    Partnered up at the bottom of the hill for three rounds of the following:

    -Round 1: Partner 1 did 8-count body builders until Partner 2 rifled carried his block up the hill, did 12 overhead presses, and carried it back down. Flapjack.

    -Round 2: Partner 1 did figure 8’s (swing coupon around and through the legs in a figure 8, switching hands; like with a basketball, but it’s heavy concrete with sharp corners–many jokes about clearance), while Partner 2 ran to the cross at the top of the other hill and completed 10 genuflections before running back. Flapjack.

    -Round 3: Partner 1 did Dr. W’s (8-count ab exercise–look it up), while Partner 2 did Block and Bear (bear crawl while dragging the block between the legs/arms every few steps) up the hill and ran down. Flapjack.

    Thang 2: Indian Running with a Rifle

    PAX lined up for an Indian Run, but the man in front kept a block overhead in rifle carry position until the last man in line did 5 merkins and caught up to relieve him. It was great. We’ll definitely revisit that one.

    Thang 3: Bridge of Coupon Hate, Tunnel of Coupon Love

    -Round 1: PAX on their backs, shoulder to shoulder, handed all five blocks over, conveyor belt style, back and forth a few times.

    -Round 2: PAX got shoulder to shoulder in plank position and pulled the coupons through the tunnel with one hand, and then back through with the other. Rinse and Repeat three times.

    We filled the last 5 minutes with Colt 45’s, Bolt 45’s (15 curls/goblet squats respectively from mid to high, 15 low to mid, and 15 low to high) and some Mary: gas pumps, LBC’s, wife pleasers, Australian sweat angels, and Scuba Steve’s.

    COT with lots of details on the upcoming St. Vincent 500 (Aug. 12-13 at The Stage) and lots of sizable prayer intentions. Tighty prayed us out.
    It was an awesome experience breaking these guys into some new coupon work and grinding them out together. Thanks for joining, fellas!

    See You in the Gloom,
    Goose

  • What time is it? Hill:30 – from Goose

    A solid five PAX climbed the hill on another beautiful morning at Lumen Christi, awkwardly quiet at first about YHC’s choice of a smedium Superman shirt (with velcro cape). Why? Getting dressed in the dark? Delusions of grandeur? No, just cuz it’s stupid, and it might distract a little from what we were about to endure.

    Warmup: the usual faves–SSH, WM, AC, cherry pickers, IW, self-love

    Thang 1: 30’s
    YHC had some exercise ideas, all utilizing the hill, but we needed a theme. The date was 4-26-22, so for the first Thang, we just added 4 + 26 to get 30. That’ll do!
    Round 1, nonstop: 15 Hand Release Merkins at the bottom of the hill, then run over and 15 at the other side; 15 jump squats at the bottom, 15 on the other side; and 15 big boy situps on each side.
    Starting to love the hill! So, Round 2, nonstop: 10 Hurpees (hand-release burpees) at the bottom, 10 at the top, and 10 on the other side; 10 Bonnie Blairs at the top, 10 at the bottom, and 10 back at the top; then 10 crunchy frogs at the other side, at the top, and at the bottom.

    Thang 2: 52’s
    Now that we felt intimately connected to the hill, we chose to remain there and added the number of the year to the total (4 + 26 + 22 = 52), partnered (and throupled) up to complete the following, Dora fashion:
    52 Hurpees
    52 Step-ups on the picnic bench (2:1)
    52 shoulder/toe taps (plank and tap each shoulder and each toe = 1)
    While Partner 1 hammered away at these reps, Partner 2 ran up the hill backward and back down forward (though after the hurpees, we switched to running forward up and down).

    Mary: 20 leg raises, 20 wife pleasers, and 30 penguins.
    The cape remained velcroed in place throughout the workout providing many performance enhancing benefits despite early mumblechatter suggesting otherwise.

    COT and Paradiddle prayed us out. Lots to pray for, and lots to be grateful for. Thanks for posting, fellas, and for pushing hard together!

    See You in the Gloom,
    Goose

  • Holy Saturday and a Visit from a Forefather – from Goose

    As the PAX slowly trickled in at the Peltch on the morning of Holy Saturday, we tried to guess whose car was pulling in as soon as we could see the headlights down the road. But one car mystified us, even as it pulled to a stop in the parking lot–was it another one of Tighty Whitey’s FNG’s showing up nervously without him? Or, was it an overly excited little league coach coming to set up his dugout a few hours early? We were way off. White hair was the first thing to become clear in the gloom, and then a Run Cajun Run shirt–could it be? Yes!! It was Reluctant Yankee! I had the distinct pleasure of directing the following proclamation to the PAX, “Gentlemen, this is the founder of F3 NOLA, and today he has deigned to join us bayou PAX for our humble beatdown at The Peltch.” YHC would have preferred to have some trumpeters, a red carpet, and a scroll to read from, but all we had was Coyote, my 10-year-old 2.0, who rattled off as many F3 terms as he could think of (“fartsack” came up multiple times).
    Ultimately, 12 PAX, including an FNG, were present as we commenced a Holy Saturday themed beatdown.

    Warmup: SSH, WM, AC, Cherry Pickers, IW, high knees, butt kicks

    Thang 1:
    Moseyed to the Thunderdome for a Flora 1, 2, 3 and a couple of songs. The theme was uncomfortable waiting–Jesus is lying dead in a dark, stone tomb, and we’re waiting with him.
    Partnered up for the Flora (waiting in uncomfortable positions while your partner completes his reps):
    1. Partners split 100 dips, each does 10 at a time while the other holds dip position (down).
    2. 200 air presses in people’s chair against the columns, 20 at a time while other holds chair position.
    3. 300 flutter kicks, 30 at a time while other holds legs six inches off the ground.

    Song 1: “While I’m Waiting” by John Waller–held plank for the duration (almost 5 min.) and 3 mountain climbers (2:1) every time he said “Waiting” (90 mountain climbers total). YHC’s calves are still sore.
    Song 2: “The Final Countdown” by Europe–side straddle hops for the duration (over 5 min.) and three Bonnie Blairs (1:1) for every “Final Countdown” (over 50 total).

    Thang 2: Empty Tomb
    When the disciples saw/heard the tomb was empty, the waiting/difficulty wasn’t immediately relieved. There were questions, confusion, running, freaking out, etc. So, the PAX lined up at the first of three cones and completed 20 Chinooks (arm circles over the head) to represent the women freaking out and telling the disciples the tomb was empty, and then sprinted to the second cone to represent to apostles running to the tomb, and then army crawled from there to the third cone (crawling into the tomb to check it out).
    Repeated this 5 times (and gained some souvenir brush burns in the process).
    Then, all PAX ran backward to the last cone and back followed by carioca to the last cone and back.
    Then, partnered up and PAX 1 ran backward from the first cone to the third, and PAX 2 sprinted to try to catch him once he reached the second cone (like Peter trying to catch up with John). Flapjack and then rinse and repeat.

    Indian Run around the park gave YHC a chance to chatter with Yankee a bit about F3 leadership, followed by some substantial Mary at the flag. Tried to include 10 Absolutions, a somewhat complicated 8-count plank exercise, which failed miserably, leading to the obvious lesson that absolution (cleansing from sin) can’t be earned. Other exercises were crunchy frogs, wife pleasers, leg raises, and a couple of other things, I think.

    Count off, name off, and named our FNG Neanderthal–welcome!! Announcements included a push to hop in the clown car headed to the Northshore for the Zoorich Classic this Saturday, and Kilo prayed us out. Thanks, gents, for letting me lead, and huge thanks to Reluctant Yankee for the surprise visit!

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • All Around the Mulberry Bush – from Goose

    Three PAX gathered for another gorgeous morning on the hill at Lumen Christi after YHC came rolling in two minutes late (still figuring out how to pad time for lines of extremely slow trucks on bayou highways). So, no time was wasted jumping right into some SSH, WM, AC, SL, IW, high knees, and butt kicks.

    Thang 1: All Around the Mulberry Pond

    Moseyed to the edge of the small lake and partnered (throupled) up.
    -Round 1: Partner 1–Nur (run backward) while Partner 2 completes 5 flutter kicks and then sprints to catch up and take over nurring. Partner 1 then drops and does 5 flutter kicks before sprinting to catch, etc.
    -Round 2: Partner 1–carioca, Partner 2–5 scuba steve then sprint to catch
    -Round 3: P1–lunge walk, P2–10 mountain climbers then sprint
    Not easy, but not as hard as expected, so we added a nice, long 3-person Indian run back to the bottom of the hill.

    Thang 2: Jackass Webb
    Each PAX did ascending ratio of 1 donkey kick to 4 air presses up to 10 donkey kicks and 40 air presses. Fun! Donkeys were looking pretty lame toward the end.

    20 left leg step-ups followed by 20 right leg step ups before heading up the hill for some serious, non-stop Mary: gas pumps, big boys, flutters, wife pleasers, penguins, dying cockroaches, Nolan Ryans, and Jane Fondas.

    COT and YHC prayed us out.
    Grateful for the camaraderie and the beautiful weather. Thanks for pushing, guys!
    SYITG,
    Goose

  • And, For The Next Round… – from Goose

    Spared once again from forecasted rain, four PAX gathered on another unexpectedly beautiful morning to top the hill and plant the flag at Lumen Christi. YHC had designed this particular beatdown around Paradiddle’s recent comment revealing a desire for more running (and probably less hill crawling). Alas, there was no Paradiddle, but his absence was honored by a beatdown filled with both running and hill crawling.

    Warmup: SSH, Slooooooww Vigodas (after yesterday’s lumberjack trauma), arm circles, cherry pickers, imperial walkers, self-love

    Thang 1: Sticky Ninjas

    YHC had a good time coming up with a new way to move the PAX up and down the hill. With fond memories of those little plastic ninjas with sticky hands and feet that you throw against the wall and watch them crawl/flip down, the PAX made their way down the hill via 180 crawling arcs with one hand or foot fixed in place. Right hand stays put while the rest of the body crawls down in an arc around it; then, left leg, then left hand, etc. Picture bear crawl or plank position, spinning slowly down the hill with one hand stuck in place until a full 180 arc is completed, then switch to the next foot, etc.
    Going down was kind of fun. Going up was a different kind of fun… Definitely keeping that one in the back pocket!

    Thang 2: Round and Round We Go:

    Round 1: While each PAX takes turns running alone around the big lake (about a quarter mile), the rest complete continuous sets of 7 jump squats, 7 merkins, 7 LBC’s. Once all PAX have run…

    Round 2: PAX run two at a time around the big lake, the rest completing continuous sets of 5 burpees, 10 plank jacks, 15 flutter kicks. Once all PAX have run…

    Round 3: Each PAX runs around the lake alone, and the rest complete continuous sets of 15 squats, 10 dying cockroaches, 5 Maktar’s (plank walks). Sent the last two together so we’d have time for the final event.

    Thang 3: Imperial Walker Dance

    For the Duration of “Baba O’Reilly” by The Who, PAX did Imperial Walkers in cadence with the rhythm (some PAX’s rhythm is better than others, especially toward the end). The song lasts exactly 5 minutes, which was enough time for an in-depth lesson on all things CSI from Cardinal. YHC had no idea that all three CSI series used Who songs for the them (Baba O’Reilly was CSI: New York). Cardinal’s favorite is CSI: Miami because the main character is his doppleganger, but with cooler sunglasses.

    COT and prayers for families. It was a great morning! Thanks for being out there, fellas, and for sticking with it!

    See You in the Gloom (SYITG),
    Goose