Backblast: Chuck Norris Takes the Mothership
AO: Mothership | QIC: Mr. Rodgers
PAX: A strong showing (plus one burpee enthusiast)
Conditions: Perfect for a Chuck Norris-level beatdown

Always an honor to lead the Mothership — where you’ve got to sign up months in advance just to earn the right to wreck a group of men. My time came, and I knew this one had to hit different.

Had everything planned… except Kenna Brah and the 40lb sandbag were a no-show at 6:30am.
No problem — Squints came in clutch with a 50lb medicine ball. Audible called.

Warmarama – Chuck Norris Boot Camp

Paid tribute to the legend:

“Jack was nimble, Jack was quick… but Jack still couldn’t dodge Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick.”
10 Roundhouse Kicks each leg
“Since 1940, roundhouse kick-related deaths are up 13,000%.”
10 Forward Kicks each leg (column assist)

Then:

Norris Soldiers
Low Slow Squats
Peter Parkers
Shoulder Taps
The Twist – Meet “Lucy”

Introduced the 50lb medicine ball, officially named “Lucy” in honor of Kuch.

Rules:
Lucy never touches the ground
If she does = 10 burpees for everyone

Thanks to Catfish, we logged 50+ penalty burpees.
Still unclear if that was accidental… or a lifestyle choice.

Chuck Norris can drop a medicine ball and the ground apologizes… Catfish drops it and we all do burpees.

Round 1 – “Texas Ranger Trials”

Partner WOD (3 Sets):

Pax 1: Bear crawl → backward run → forward run
Pax 2: 5 Burpees, 10 Pushups, AMRAP Squats

Then Indian Run to the Foundry, passing Lucy back — last man sprints it to the front.

Round 2 – “Walker, Foundry Ranger”

Lucy Timer: I-go-you-go squats (10 toss reps total)

Stations:

Step-ups
Pull-ups
Rows
Dips

2 Sets — upper body got properly introduced to Lucy.

Round 3 – “The Roundhouse Gauntlet”

Back to the Great Lawn with another Indian Run featuring Lucy

Partner WOD (3 Sets):

Pax 1: Long run across lawn with Lucy
Pax 2: 5 Jump Squats, 10 SSH, AMRAP Big Boys

Lucy got heavier. Nobody got stronger.

Finisher – “Ab-solute Justice” (Mary x4)

Core work to remind everyone they still had abs… somewhere.

Chuck Norris doesn’t have abs… he has an 8-pack that intimidates fat into leaving his body.

COT

Wrapped right at 7:30 on the dot.
Grateful for the opportunity to lead, lifted prayers to the Lord above, and thanked the men for showing up and getting after it.

Chuck Norris doesn’t pray for strength… strength prays to Chuck Norris.

Moleskin:

Kenna Brah = still missing in action
Squints = MVP
Catfish = burpee sponsor of the day
Lucy = chaos agent
Chuck Norris = undefeated

AYE!