5 HIMS joined at the top of the A1C, lightning off in the distance, BBQ coming in hot, on Cowbell time. We circled up, no one took the Q, but I felt something brewing in me. I have had enough. Work has been hell. Lets start this: simple warmup, no biggie.
Then we got to the actual workout, and the theme of the day was School Board Logic. We were supposed to do a standard 11s routine with Merkins at the top of the parking garage and Squats at the bottom. Simple, right? Normal human logic. But no, because the School Board got their bureaucratic, overpaid fingers into it, a direct path from Point A to Point B was strictly forbidden. That would make too much sense, and God forbid we do something that works. Instead, they rolled out the New Curriculum. After hitting our Merkins at the top, we couldn’t just walk to the stairs. We had to karaoke across to the opposite stairwell, karaoke back to the middle, and then backpedal the entire length of the parking garage like we were trying to reverse away from a bad life choice.And then, right in the middle of this nonsense, I had to yell out Pop Quiz! and make everyone drop and do random squats. Why? Because even though the actual assessment is legally mandated to happen at the bottom, administration demands we randomly test people at arbitrary times for no discernible reason whatsoever. After that, we finally got to sprint down the stairs, but as we jogged across the parking lot, we had to suddenly ramp up the pace to an all-out sprint. Why? Because even though there was an original schedule we all agreed on, some invisible middle-manager randomly changed the timeline, so now we’re panic-sprinting to the bottom stairwell just to do the official, scheduled Squats we were supposed to do anyway. Then we had to turn around, go back up the ramp, backpedal the straightaways, and finish with a desperate sprint back to the top just to race against the inevitable budget cuts. We did this chaotic, red-tape nightmare over and over again until the compliance paperwork was filled. We didn’t even have time for Mary because, shocking no one, the administrative tasks ran completely over schedule.

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