WARMARAMA

Abe Vigodas x 10

Grass Grabbers x 10

Mountain Man Poopers x 10

SSH x 15

With everyone sufficiently warm and wondering what poor decisions brought them to Pontiff, we got to work.

THANG 1 — AROUND THE FOOTBALL FIELD

We took a little tour around the football field:

50 yards of Lunges

Right-Side Rotator Cuffs — held until everyone cried “SQUINTS!”

50-yard Bear Crawl

Low Plank — held until everyone once again cried “SQUINTS!”

Side Step across the field

50 yards of Broad Jumps

Left-Side Rotator Cuffs — held until everyone cried “SQUINTS!” for the third time.

50-yard Sprint to finish it off.

At this point, shoulders were burning, legs were questioning life choices, and Squints had heard his name enough for one morning.

THANG 2 — DERKINS & PULL-UPS

Pretty straightforward.

Derkins.

Pull-ups.

Regret.

THANG 3 — 4 BASES, 5 EXERCISES & A TON OF CONFUSION

The Q attempted to explain something involving 4 bases and 5 exercises.

Nobody really understood it.

Including, possibly, the Q.

The exercises:

WW3 Sit-ups

Curls

Burpees

Squats

Merkins

Somehow we moved around the bases. Exercises were performed. Calories were burned. Confusion was plentiful.

Mission accomplished.

THANG 4 — MARY

Finished with a round of Mary because apparently we hadn’t done enough.

COT

Another morning at The Uptowner in the books.

Plenty of work, plenty of confusion, and an unusually high number of grown men yelling “SQUINTS!” across a football field.