F3 New Orleans

Category: Backblasts

  • Gonna Have a Good Day – from Paradiddle

    YHC has recently felt the fire within and has been trying to recruit new pax to join this lovely cult that we call a club (both F3 and WHOOOPgang). You see, today was supposed to be a big day for one of our own. After a Friday evening prethang with Goldilocks, as we prepared our bodies (and thighs) to be sculpted into the most beautiful figures mankind could ever lay eyes on – thanks to YankeeJoe, Goldilocks, after a little peer pressure from YHC, agreed to VQ today. After a small but strong showing on Saturday, YankeeJoe had me convinced that all of the pax were out of town on the beach, pina-colada with tiny umbrella in hand. YHC was merely looking out for Goldilocks (locks, or is it lox?) by wanting a strong showing at his VQ. Locks agreed, even seeming excited to have a bit more time to prepare for the chaos he wishes to unleash upon us all this coming Thursday.

    YHC arrived with two minutes to spare (impressive, right?) to find a full showing of pax, coupons already unloaded, cheeks clenched, and mumble chatter strong. YHC was happy, and with a big smile, we began.

    Warmups were the usual not knowing how to count off anything in cadence and consisted of:
    – SSH
    – Imperial Walkers
    – Grass Grabbers (w/ the clap)
    – Open the Gates (bringing something new)

    Mumble chatter was strong and YHC was so distracted that he nearly just got right in to the beatdown. Thanks to Lil’ Cuz piping up, we actually stretched our arms (and we needed to):
    – Arm circles
    – Cherry pickers

    THANG ONE
    – Indian run w/ 3 caboose burpees
    DJ DOX was quick to be ready with ever faithful JBL, and YHC just about put him in the grave when the decision to run in silence was announced to the pax. Sometimes you just have to be alone with those inner demons and face them head on. The pace was set and kept for the run with the exception of the ever popular Cardinal-pace. We stopped midway back to the stage for a group circle of 30 Bonnie Blair’s so that we could get a bonus burn in the thighs.

    THANG TWO
    – Step Up’s & LBC’s w/ Coupons
    YHC’s current favorite tv character, Mr. Ted Lasso, has a way with people. His positivity is contagious, and many of his colleagues are often annoyed with his upbeat nature and attitude. I feel similar to Ted here. Some of the pax like to acknowledge my smile when running the Diddle Death March and other popular exercises. After my dear Ted got put down in GroupMe last night (not gonna name names *honk*), I was inspired with this routine.

    The song was “Good Day” by Nappy Roots – a real bop , frfr. We would do lbc’s with coupons on the verses and step up’s on the chorus for the duration of the song. This was sure to get the pax in a great mood this morning! We can make the decision to make it a good day from the moment we sit up in bed (lbc’s) and take our first steps of the day (step up’s).

    Mumble chatter and grunts were at a minimum, but Cuz did set the record for the most amount of bird poop anyone has laid in.

    THANG THREE
    – Merkin Mountain
    After Yankee Joe’s inspirational sharty beatdown on Saturday, YHC might have a new favorite exercise – the Merkin Mountain. YHC adapted this gem into what I’m now calling the Merkin Flatlands (which might just be tougher than the mountain – Dox I repent of saying this would be easier, I was wrong).

    We would begin with one merkin, take one step(?) in a bear crawl, two merkins, two steps in bear crawl , three merkins, three steps in bear crawl, etc until we reached 18 merkins (thanks to Cuz who remembered how many the mountain had, but im pretty sure he remembered because he got to the top right behind shari’ah and stomped the rest of us).

    This…proved to be difficult. After hearing Econoline’s thunderous grunts from afar, YHc had to pivot and reduce the mountain to 15 merkins. Those 51 pushups really would have ate our lunch.

    THANG FOUR
    – Dora
    – 100 overhead press w/ coupon
    – Partner runs a lap
    – 200 Bonnie Blair’s
    – Partner Murder Bunny’s to the second picnic table & back
    – 300 Squats
    – Partner does mountain climber’s til he tags out and swaps

    The pax plowed through the over head press and running portion, and YHC was downright inspired by Smooth making that coupon look like he was lifting a box of Kleenex above his head.

    Goose, to no surprise after May’s ISI challenge, set the pace with the Bonnie Blair’s. This is where things got challenging. Murder Bunnies are rightly named, and the pairing with Bonnie Blair’s should have had them named something even more sinister. YHC was grateful for Pope absolutely destroying the majority of our 200.

    We timed out during the 300 squats so that we could get 60sec of Mary in.

    Leg raises and flutter kicks took us out.

    *I remain ever grateful for men that continue to push one another in their fitness and their virtue. It is not lost on me that most beatdowns go by and no one complains, no one grumbles, no one brings the spirit down. This is one of the first things that made me stick around F3. I know it is a part of our culture here in F3 Thib, and we would make Ted proud.*

    “Futbol (F3) is life!” – Dani Rojas

    SYITG,
    Paradiddle

  • Strength in numbers – from Kenna Brah

    YHC was relieved to see 3 PAX emerging from their vehicles, themselves wondering if there would be something to do.

    Obligingly, I proceed to mosey to the rock pile for warmups and surprisingly, they followed me!
    Imperial Walkers 15x
    Abe Vigoda Rx 10x
    Mtn Man Pooper Good Morning 15x
    Then worked on balance on the tracks till the train shooed us away.

    Main Thang –
    Murph Training
    With Rock:
    5 OHP
    10 Curls
    15 Rows
    Run roughly 200 Meters
    5 Rounds

    Back to the start –
    One lap around the track KOT style with a sprint for the last 50 Yards

    Ultimate Frisbee Soccer, and other Frisbee games to wrap it up
    COT
    We’re out!

  • Get Sharty – from Yankee Joe

    YHC arrived at The Peltch with high hopes of a large PAX. Sure, I only sent out five pre-hypes and sure, nobody actually HC’d. That said, nobody said they WEREN’T posting. Nobody said, “Hey, I know you are going to spend hours putting together a beatdown, and I hate to miss it, but we’re heading out of town.” As Montana would say from his vacay on the beach right now, “ya hate to see it.” I assume he’s at the beach. I have no idea.

    In planning the beatdown, I didn’t want to sell the PAX SHORT. I worked hard to ensure SHORTness of breath so that mumblechatter would be in SHORT supply. Though many of the PAX are under six feet, we make up for our SHORT stature in other ways. After seeing Goose’s seven inch vents and 3 inch inseams on his SHORTS the other day, I knew what had to be done. I couldn’t guarantee someone wouldn’t have an accident and SHART themselves, but today is all about the SHORT SHORTS or wet sharts depending on who you ask. The beatdown would celebrate four icons of short shorts.

    As I was saying, with my short shorts all up in a twist, YHC was excited to ultimately welcome five other PAX. With Paradiddle and Goldilox keeping up their posting streak and Paradox rolling in with some turquoise peeking out of his collar, the forecast looked bright. Lil’ Cuz sauntered in, but apparently couldn’t convince his M to loan him some shorts. His 10” inseams were a bit awkward. YHC was really looking forward to those pearly white legs.

    Most importantly, YHC was expecting an FNG. A former student and helluva beast first baseman for Nicholls (keep in mind, Nicholls beat the current College World Series champions this year), YHC was excited to have him in the mix. He emerged on the other end in much better condition than the rest of us, along with the new name, Shart’eh. He’s Canadian. He likes to say, “eh.” You put the rest together.

    We had 40 penalty burpees already on the books. The PAX had three trivia questions worth burpee deductions to be decided in fully transparent and biased fashion by the Q.

    Warmarama

    Side straddle hops
    Windmills
    Arm circles forward
    Arm circles backward
    Cherry pickers
    Self love
    High knees
    Mountain climbers

    Thang 1: Shartin’ to the Oldies

    Trivia #1: Where is Richard Simmons originally from?

    Answer: New Orleans (nobody got it)

    Song: Short shorts (The Royal Teens) – In high plank, 2 Groiners on “short shorts”; Shoulder taps during rest

    Plank Fonda X 15 each side (Jane Fonda’s in high plank with full arm extension)
    These were really hard. YHC is adding them to every beatdown moving forward.

    Star jacks X 15 IC

    Patty cake merkins w/ partner X 15 (P1 and P2 in merkin position facing each other. Merkin in sync, slap opposite hands at top of merkin…like patty cake.

    Transport: Mosey to ED White bleachers listening to “In Da Club”

    ——————————————————————————————————–
    Thang 2: If He Dies, He Dies

    Trivia #2: In 1975, Chuck Wepner fought Muhammad Ali for the heavyweight championship. Wepner was not expected to last more than a few rounds. Wepner even knocked Ali down in a near KO. Wepner eventually got TKO’d in the 15th round. A young screenwriter was sitting in the crowd that day and subsequently, wrote the plot to his movie idea in three and half days. Who was he?

    Answers: Slyvester Stallone (Lil’ Cus saved the day)

    To celebrate the Rocky franchise, but most importantly, the movie that saved America from communism, Rocky IV, the PAX laid into two new challenges. Of course, we listened to the traditional Rocky songs, including the Rocky IV training montage. As Paradox noted, the “only training montage.”

    Lunge Mountain

    Start at the base of the bleachers and lunge up each bleacher row. On top of each bleacher, do ascending air squats. There were 20 bleacher benches, thus 20 incline lunges and 210 squats. Not that it needs to be mentioned, but Goldilox is not a man, he’s a machine. See what I did there?

    Merkin Mountain

    Start in an incline Merkin at the base of any stadium bleacher. Perform 1 merkin and climb (preferably bear crawl) until your feet are where your hands started. Perform 2 Merkins and repeat adding one Merkin for every level you go up until you reach the pinnacle. There were 19 bleacher benches, thus 190 merkins.

    The FNG methodically pulled away from the PAX seemingly not breaking a sweat. Lil’ Cuz was right on his tail. Everyone fought through the insanity of this one. I think I heard Cuz say something like, “Every champion was once a contender who refused to give up.”

    Transport: Mosey to softball fields, picking bricks up along the way – Song: “I Know You Want Me” by Peetbool

    —————————————————————————————————————-
    Thang 3: Birds of a Feather (or heatstroke)

    Trivia #3: I’m a 3X NBA champion, 3X NBA MVP in three consecutive years, 12X all-star, I went to Indiana State and in 1979, we lost the national championship, which was the first meeting of many between me and Magic Johnson. Who am I? (Larry Bird) Who did I play for? (Celtics) What was my number? (33)

    The FNG got this one right out the gates and saved the PAX from burpees. And the fact that YC forgot about them altogether.

    Also, earlier at the end of Warmarama, Paradox revealed that he was wearing our ‘ol girl, GiGi. However, it was at this point that he revealed one of his greatest moments. He dropped his shorts to reveal 3” inseam shorts, black with pink piping. The beatdown nearly derailed. I was sure that our FNG would say. “Welp, I’m outta here,” but no, but Paradox said, “If I can change and you can change, everybody can change.” Or maybe he said, “If he dies, he dies.” I have no idea…I couldn’t stop looking at the shorts.

    Webbicides

    If you’ve ever been part of a basketball practice, you most likely finished with free throws and team sprints for every miss. We didn’t do any free throws, but we did do 80 yard suicides (10 yard increments). A standard suicide but instead of touching each line the pax does an increasing number of Bobby Hurleys at each line. Run to the first line, do one BH, run back to start, run to the next line, do two BH’s, and so on until you get to 8.

    This one was a beast as well and took longer than YHC had planned. There were supposed to be two rounds, but after a continuous seven minute suicide, YHC had to move on. Paradiddle showed that endurance that only comes with 7 point strains while the rest of us are posting 14+ (it’s a Whoop thing, you wouldn’t understand).

    ———————————————————————————————————————
    Thang 4: The ‘Ol Coach Got Balls

    In this last exercise, YHC shared some items from his personal life…

    You see, YHC moved to Florida with his Dad when he was in elementary school. He happened to play little league with Florida Governor, Ron DeSantis. In fact, we were born two weeks apart. You could say we’ve been on similar life tracks.

    For example,

    – He’s a graduate of Yale where he was the captain of a Division I baseball team. I sometimes started for a D3 team that won 4 games. So, same.

    – Then got his law degree from Harvard. Big deal…I went to Lynchburg, Va and taught Spanish grammar to 9th graders and coached JV soccer. Same again.

    – He then was a commissioned officer in the Navy. Big whoop…during the same time, I ran a half marathon. Same, same, same.

    – He was elected to the House of Representatives and then Governor of Florida. Child’s play…during the same time, I qualified for a high interest loan to finance my truck. It’s like we’re the same person.

    – He recently announced his bid to run for President of the United States. Me? Well, I traded in that truck for a minivan and then tried to kill it by driving it into a concrete crevasse. Also, Poor guy. He must have fallen in with a bad crowd.

    Butttt…that’s not the Thang….

    One of those years, maybe 7th grade, Gov Ron and I played on the same little league team. On the first day of practice, we gathered in the parking lot outside of the Dunedin National Little League fields. We all sat down. Coach was wearing the good ‘ol polyester short short coaching shorts. They were short. Coach squatted down. As a 12 year old, I wasn’t sure what was happening, but polyester, the amazing apparel innovation that it is, can only hold so much and well…one ball slooowlyyy popped out the side. We were silent. He was silent. We were silent. He stood up and rearranged himself. We moved on.

    So, we will move on too… but not before always checking ourselves a few times to make sure all baggage is properly stored in the above compartment.

    The ‘Ol Triple check

    Teams of three. First man holds in freestyle peoples chair (knees together in seat position, no wall), arms straight up, second man in front of him doing Bonnies Blair’s, third man sprints 80 yards and back with bricks, rinse and repeat until time. We aimed for nine runs…each man cycling through three times. We succeeded, finishing by 7:29:58. The men REALLY pushed themselves here, especially on the brick sprints. In fact, it seemed like they were only getting faster.

    COT, GiGi was bestowed upon the Diddle. Our FNG was named.

    Lil’ Cuz prayed us out.

    Safe travels to everyone this weekend.

    SYITG,

    Yankee Jeaux

  • Kenna Brah showed up – from Kenna Brah

    7 hearty souls showed up to see for themselves that the Q actually showed up.
    As a reward for their morbid curiosity, I invited the to a little fat melting exercise:
    Warmups –
    Properly Slow Abe Vigodas x 13
    Arm Circle Circuit x 13
    Imperial Walkers x13
    Mtn Man Pooper Good Morning x13

    Main Event:
    Paired with a fellow gloom buster, they faced opposite directions and when they met, they did:
    Cumuluative count:
    100 Merkins in sets of 25, after each set – run till you meet again. Got it?
    200 Air Squats sets of 50
    300 LBS in sets of 75

    Fun times:
    Red Light/Green Light game
    Then 7 min of Mary.
    COT

  • Gorilla Instincts – from Jose10k

    After spending two days in Pensacola swimming with my nephew, I got in at 9 last night. Tired, sunburned,and very sore. But that’s never an excuse to miss the A1C. 78 degrees outside, 92% humidity, still not a reason to skip the A1C. I was thinking about taking it easy, however, a traveler from far away (Slidell) rolled up at exactly 5:15. Anyone who travels that far, deserves a quality beatdown. To be honest, I hadn’t planned a workout. I was planning on making it up as we went. Warm-up: you know how it goes
    The Thang: Mosey over to the butterfly garden to pick up a coupon each. Mosey over to the side of the courthouse for a Shooter inspired Gorilla workout. But while walking there, a wise voice came over me. YOU INTENSIFY TO MODIFY. Y’all know who this wise voice is, wisdom beyond his years: that’s right, Hammer’s oldest boy: PickAxe. How do you intensify the Gorilla workout? That’s when I thought of another F3 brother, none other than the stepfather of the splash pad, Russo. I have to throw him a little love, I mean, we hate on him quite a bit. It’s his own fault, he opens his mouth about his lack of taste in 80s and 90s movies, it just makes him a target of ridicule. One thing that we can not make fun of, his intense workouts. And one of his favorite exercises is: murder bunnies. So that’s how we intensified this morning’s workout. 8 reps of each exercise, curls, shoulder presses, kettlebell swings, and merkins. Then murder bunny to the first intersection. 8 gorilla squats, then rifle carry the block back to the start. Returned the blocks, back to the top of the A1C for 5 minutes of Mary led by Hogs Breath. YHC had to leave to bring his car back for his daughter to use. As always, it was an honor to lead you gentlemen. Thanks for read. Hammer’s offspring has the Q tomorrow morning. Mark it in your calendar, and plan to show. July 28th marks the 3rd anniversary of the A1C. Come out and celebrate with us. I do hope that our cross town rivals will join us too. SYITG

  • Like a warm, sticky, wet hug – from Russo

    Stepping out into the gloom, the humidity just smacked YHC in the face. Reaching the top of the pilot house and looking out, the flags were straight down, not a breeze to be had. 81 degrees meant unrelenting humidity, but hey, at least my skin will never be dry.

    No warmup, just straight into:

    – pilot house steps (3 calf raises at each step
    – Slalom the columns
    – pilot house steps (3 calf raises at each step)
    – SUPER slalom the columns

    Mosey the blocks, stopping at the corners for:
    – 25 Urkins
    – 25 Peter Parker’s
    – 25 shoulder taps
    – 25 plank jacks
    – 25 groiners
    – 25 ballerina squats
    – 25 lunges (2 is 1)
    – 25 George Thorogoods
    – 25 star jumps
    – 25 crunches
    – 25 flutter kicks (2 is 1)
    – 25 Rosalitas
    – 25 gas pumps

    Slalom the columns one more time, 25 crunchy frogs brought us home.

    Quick prayer wrapped it up because the Jackson Pollack was compete. Chainsaw has Q tomorrow!

    SYITG

  • The death of pro shop Barry – from Wiford Montana

    This morning rolled up with much anticipation. 1yr ago was YHC first que and it happened to be the VQ of the infamous, ISI loving, jerf spitting, Yankee Josephine. That day was one to remember but this day was about showing appreciation, an appreciation of a group of like minded men that go far beyond some short one liners. Yes, we laugh and are still in utter shock at the length of goose’s shorts(I wouldn’t let my daughters out in that length inseam) but it’s beyond that. I made the decision to stick with F3 and the friendships made even in short 12 months are game changing. Keep showing up and also keep “heat checking” ur pax all u can it means something! So I will explain what we did but know what u so goes beyond the struggle.

    Warm up Tana style:
    A mix of permissible mumble chatter, backwards 1st arm circles, and bricked up Moroccan lunge nightclubs (shown by Enron,explained in great detail by Dox)

    Thang 1:
    Run the reservoir Indian run style with bricks then after the lap do 64 reps (1 for ever lb lost since Jan 1)

    Thang 2: “if you can read this ur in trouble”
    An ode to the YJ vq and his wrestling dayz
    30 alarm clocks
    30 lbc
    30 Turkish alarm clocks
    30 big boyz

    Thang 3: Diddle Death March
    Paradiddle had the pax needing more a couple weeks back when he ran us into the ground so I wanted to bring this back as part of the top Tana awards
    Burpee 10,8,7,6……1 but a long transfer jog in between

    We finished with a final lap around the building.

    Cot and Diddle prayed us out!

    SYITG
    Tana

  • Back to the regulars!! – from Shooter

    The Scramble produced pairs once again. Ruckers returned with JV and Russo.. Cowbell and Waterpik were the speedsters.. Zoolander and YHC were the Clydesdale’s. Sorry to categorize you that way this morning Zoo, after all we know you are nowhere near a Clydesdale..
    Appreciate you graciously holding back to jog with one this morning though..

    Warmup
    Mixture of 15IC and 10IC
    SSH, Toe touches, Imperial walkers, Superman’s, Wife pleasers, Bridges, Scorpion kicks and squat holds..

    Ruckers rucked down Massena and back. Runners and joggers turned right on Monroe and then left on Antibes to Mariners and back around to Monroe..

    Returned for some Mary
    10IC Right elbow to left knee, F/J, LBCs, Little Manny crunches and Merkins.

    Count, announce and COT

    Thanks to JV for taking us out in prayer!!
    Until the next Gloom 👍🏼👊🏼✌🏼!!!!

  • Venti – from Sea Man

    There is a new runningish work out uptown at the start of WPM / Tsunami, we call it The Venti

    Pax meet for a talking pace mosey to the levy, and up Carrolton to Maple St then to Starbucks. Stop grab a coffee and saunter back to the AO for COT.

    Total mosey distance 2.6miles,

    PAX: Moana, Willy, Sphinxter

  • The Centenarian Decathlon – from Paradox

    YHC has been in a rather melancholic mood recently and asking the deeper , heavy hitting questions about this life ?

    Am I original? Yeahhhh
    Am I the only one? Yeahhh
    Am I sexual ? Yeahhh
    Am I everything thing you need? You better rock your body now…
    *record scratch***
    ***looks in the mirror and slaps face ***

    (No no no !
    That’s not it !
    That’s YJs Monday beatdown playlist with the Backstreet Boys still plaguing your mind
    Let it go Dox , keep your composure
    Focus , you’re better than this
    Do it for Tana, he’s alone out there in the rep wilderness and needs this blast )

    Ok ok I’m back but seriously the question here is what can I do for the years I’m allowed on this planet to be the most functional
    Can health span truly = lifespan?

    Well, 8 High impact men beat the darkness at the stage Tuesday morning to answer the above.

    This framework YHC picked up from a longevity expert Dr Peter Attia (see links below for more elegant explanations)
    But it boils down to imagining your most important tasks at 100 years old and reverse engineering the training for our own personal decathlon. So YHC polled the pax audience via text the day before and built a list of everyone’s “must be able to do at 100” list.

    But here’s the catch .. sure you can do those things now but we need to be able to compensate for age related decline.
    So for example you can all pick up a 20 lb toddler now and raise them over your head like Simba. But for the next 4 decades you could lose 7-8 percent of your muscle strength/decade (perhaps more if you have a roaring water problem) : so today you need to be able to lift ….let’s say a 40 lb coupon overhead roughly 50 times. Makes sense? You see where this is heading

    Duke get the footage and Medicare part D we got new indications baby !

    Warmup
    Standard issue warmups welcoming back Goose and Pope fresh from NC adventures and extra time to nurse a few tight arms from YJs zombie crawls and Lil cuzs pull-up palooza.

    Bumper mosey

    Da List

    #1 get up from lying down un aided
    #2 climb stairs

    Song : I Don’t Need Your Rocking Chair – George Jones
    Wake up , Climb Stairs

    BBSU into box jump
    Back into bed with 1 Merkin increase each rep
    That bird poop on the stage never smelled better.

    #3 Coordination to play with great grandkids and #4 Driving )
    Indian Run with frisbee
    Last man does 5 gas pumps
    If Frisbee miss , all pax 7 jump squats

    YHC will confess here that I’m very bad at frisbee and expected atleast 5-6 drops. Little did I know smooth and Goldilocks are semi pro frisbee weekend warriors. YHC had so little faith in an overthrown pass that I had halted the run to smugly handout squats. Goldilocks turned on the #jets and the seminarian house will be getting PED testing very soon.

    #5 Pick up great grandchildren and #6 Swim

    WIPE OUT
    Flora
    P1 10 Thrusters to complete 100
    P2 Flutter kicks

    The chatter subsided significantly after opening the thrusters …

    LIVE ON A PRAYER

    Travel – 20 coupon curl each to complete 80 as a partner pair
    P2 – Genuflections

    ITS THE CLIMB #8
    #9 GOLF with my FRIENDS

    100 Apolo Onos (to get the ball out of the hole ) – sets of 10
    Coupon Dance Steps fast as you can go (simulate climbing )

    Fantastic group effort to finish these out and I don’t know if I was motivated more by Goose or Miley Cyrus but we finished real strong.

    …Grand Finale

    GIVE ME SOME LOVING #10

    It was here YHC revealed that Smooth had answered the penultimate question with his usual stunning word efficiency

    What is the single most important activity to still be doing at 100 ??

    Pickle Pounders!

    Song : Give me Some loving
    Plank reaches on Song
    2 Merkins on Glad
    Pickle Pounders on Give and loving
    All I can say here is that somewhere in North Carolina ole Kilmer is smiling and that there could be some HR classes Goose has to attend for being an upstanding HOA member present at this musical debauchery.

    COT and Lox prayed us out

    Animal given to the Pope for carrying YHC through the thrusters and still counting them all.

    The Tanaversary is Thursday
    The hype is building…

    Great morning striving alongside you men keeping our physical and spiritual health sharp.

    Keep it 100

    SYITG

    Dox

    https://peterattiamd.com/how-to-train-for-the-centenarian-decathlon/