Bird’s birthday beatdown left us walking around like T-Rexes, so Monday turned into a core day—a decision fueled by equal parts soreness and regret. Warmup? Pull-ups and Big Boys, but the collective ‘grumble grumble’ forced a mid-workout audible. From there, it was Superman’s and 100s at every stop sign on the way to the lakefront—because why not? A wall session of derkins reminded us gravity is undefeated. On the way back, Peter Parkers and American Hammers at the stop signs ensured the abs had no escape. Finished it off with a spicy four-corner special: burpees at each corner for maximum suffering. COT to wrap it up, but only after we stopped questioning life choices.

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