F3 New Orleans

Tag: Barely Legal

  • Marsh Madness 2021 – from Zoolander

    Welcome to Marsh Madness 2021. Twenty-four Pax converged upon the Milestone Marsh for this second-time event1

    In the presence of the Pick Axe-entrusted Freedom Hammer, we started with a quick disclaimer, Warmorama, Bushwacker-style2 instructions, and then the THANG.

    The Pax counted off in 4’s and formed 4 x 6ish-man teams at each corner of the court with a basketball. While 1 member of each team backpedaled with their ball to half court, performed a Bobby Hurley, and drove to goal for a shot of his choosing:

    – Layup (1 point),
    – Free Throw (2 points), or
    – Three point shot (3 points)
    Zero points for missed shots

    the rest of each team completed the following series of exercises in cadence led by a rotating corner Q.
    • Burpees
    • Air Presses
    • Shoulder Tap Merkins
    • Copperhead Jump Squats
    • LBCs
    • Plank Jacks
    • Monkey Humpers
    • Flutter Kicks
    Each man – including FNGs, 2nd timers, and celebrity guests – had multiple chances to lead the cadence.

    Shooters marked their points with sidewalk chalk and fell in line to call the cadence for the next exercise. It took a few rounds before each team found its own rhythm, but after that it was like watching a philharmonic orchestra playing Mary had a little lamb.
    After “40 minutes of hell,” team member points were tallied, and the highest scoring individual from each of the 4 teams were down-bracketed to a 5-shot “Around-the-World” shoot out on their respective side of the court. The rest of the Pax performed Goofballs and Side Straddle Hops to distract the Final Four shooters.
    Grundy, with accountant like focus, out-calculated Speedy;
    Ocho outdanced Whip.

    Grundy and Ocho were then down-bracketed to compete in a best-of-10 shootout from the free throw line. As luck would have it, they tied, and we went to Sudden Death from the Three Point line. Despite Ocho’s shenanigans, Grundy stomped the Stomper and emerged as the 2021 Marsh Madness champion!

    – Trophy
    – Count-orama
    – Name-orama – Welcome FNGs Sonar (EH’d by Turbo Tax) and Gomer Pyle (EH’d by Sparky).
    – Announcements
    o Northshore 5-year convergence led by Waterpik at the Lakefront on April 10.
    o Next F3/FiA mixer is 4/29. Thank you Jose10k, some of us do have to plan ahead for weeknight workouts.
    o ZOORICH CLASSIC at the Lakefront on April 24. (See how I slipped that in there Cowbell?…never too early!)

    QIC prayed us out and group photo followed. Great job by all. We’ll see if Grundy can defend his title in 2022. Thanks for playing along men. See you in the next Gloom.

    Footnotes:
    1Seriously, footnotes in a Backblast? Why not? The first Marsh Madness was in 2019 with a small, dare I say Elite, group of 8. Bird was an FNG and drained 16 x 3-point shots. The B-ball gods did not favor him today though. And well, Corona (as it was called back then) had other plans in ‘20.

    2Bushwacker-style instructions typically include circumlocutory, sesquipedalian musings about man’s ultimate life purpose with some semblance of what the Pax should be doing for the next 40-50 minutes. They are often accompanied by Mumble Chatter and confusion by all within earshot. Bushwacker-style instructions are the exact opposite of Turbo-style instructions, which are direct, concise, and never to be interrupted without penalty.

  • Take Shelter – from TurboTax

    8 High Impact Men took their red pills this morning and posted to The Gipper for what looked sure to be a wet workout. Of course it remained dry the whole beat down, but YHC had inscribed the beat down on his stone Winkie and weather conditions were irrelevant. Time to take shelter and get busy.

    After a warmup of Imperial Walkers, Mountain Climbers, Seal Jacks, Parker Peters, Windmills and Peter Parkers, all 10x IC, it was time for the Main event.

    5 burpees every minute on the minute for 40 minutes broken down into 8 sets. Each set coupled 5 exercises with the burpees: 5 burpees with 5 SSHs, 5 burpees with 5 squats or squat jumps, 5 burpees with 5 toe touches, 5 burpees with 5 calf raises or jump ropes or one foot hops or ice skater hopes and finally 5 burpees with 5 air presses. Rinse and repeat with some intensity added, finishing up with 100 air presses before retiring to the COT. Countorama, nameorama and Einstein prayed us out. Thanks for letting me lead guys and hope to see you all Thursday 1800 at the Lakefront Gazebo for our joint beat down with FiA.

  • Building Blocks – from Shooter

    Knowing that our coupons have never been tampered with at the Gipper, YHC planned a beatdown all around the blocks. Q has been absent on Wednesday the last two weeks, so it felt like the perfect setting to return to strength focus on this mild gloom. T👏🏼 to Barely Legal and Einstein staying committed to the prethang miler and the return of Bubba to the Gip… PAX swelled to 13 before long and 0600 had arrived for us to get started.

    Warmup:
    10IC Arm circles (flapjack), Cherry pickers, Torso twist, Windmills, Grass grabbers and Imperial walkers.

    Thang
    PAX converged at the coupon yard to grab from our selection of mixed weights of blocks. Really didn’t matter if one thought they had escaped the dense 35 pounder as they quickly learned the blocks would soon be mixed in our parking lot around the corner. On this Gloom all parties involved would get a touch of the varying weights not by choice but possibly by default of being the last to select in some cases right BB?
    💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼
    First the PAX stacked all the blocks at one end of the lot them formed an assembly line to move the blocks down the line. As each PAX finished with the last block he would flip one of 2 tires placed in the lot earlier 2x and then rotate to the other end of the line to return all the blocks to the original starting block. Once complete we duplicated accept this time keeping the blocks overhead as we passed down the assembly line. R/R with the tire completing 2 rounds of each.

    FLORA 123 was next on the agenda.
    PAX partnered up for 100 (Merkins/Plank holds), 200 (LBCs/6”holds), 300 (Goblet squat/ Goblet hold).
    Example:
    100
    P1 10x Merkin with feet on coupon P2 hold plank with feet on coupon.
    200
    P1 20x LBCs with block on chest, P2 holding block above with 6” leg hold.
    300
    P1 25x Goblet squats, P2 Goblet arm chair hold.

    All about the Benjamin’s up next.
    Split the PAX on opposite ends of the parking lot.
    G1 completed 25 Curls for the girls while G2 25 Lunge walks across.
    Flapjack
    Next
    G1 Overhead press 25 and G2 25 Lunge walks with Block.
    Flapjack

    Returned our coupons to their resting place and finished with setting up for the farmers market.

    Count off, announcements and thoughts and prayers to our brethren Toto and Hogsbreath!!

    YHC prayed out the PAX

    Privileged to lead you men and would build with you anytime..

    Thanks for the post and until the next Gloom 👍🏼👊🏼✌🏼!!!!

  • March On – from Einstein

    Short disclaimer …

    Warmup:
    all 15xIC; side straddle hops, toe touch, imperial walkers, drew brees, knee highs, good mornings

    Mosey:
    to the front of the Taj-Mahal, circle up around the flag-pole, for the MROF (Merkin Ring Of Fire)
    all pax do a merkin then sidecrawl counter-clockwise, then repeat in the clockwise direction, with a set of ten jumps squats in between

    Mosey:
    to the top level of the St. Tammany Parish Courthouse parking garage, line up and at each of the parking stripes, do a burpee (twenty five in total) then follow with a core exercise.
    We repeated this sequence about six times, inserting a different challenge for the stripes

    Mosey:
    back to the Gipper statue as time expires,
    count-o-rama, Bushwacker leads us out with a prayer.

    It’s always fun running around downtown Covington, and thanks guys for letting me lead today.

  • Gnats 1 PAX 1 – from TurboTax

    It was a draw. The Gnats mobilized early and mounted a fierce attack, but the PAX persevered and evened the score with a strong showing. It all started with a burpee heavy warmup which, in all honesty, wasn’t much of a warmup at all. It was The Thang from the bell. Burpees were performed with a sprinkling of standard warmup exercises added to the mix and then it was on to the main event…PAX vs sandbag. Dividing up into teams of two and three, we moved back and forth in 10 yard increments carrying our sandbags in various fashions while bear crawling, running, burpee long jumping, etc in between rounds. We then dropped the sand bags and ran a few sprint relays wrapping things up with some Mary after returning to the Shovel Flag. Countorama nameorama and Russo prayed us out. Thanks for letting me lead guys and making us all look good for the little old lady videographer. Hammer, did you remember to give her Bushwacker’s contact info?

  • Building Blocks – from Akbar

    Pax Grover, Maverick, Bruno, BBQ, Bean, Barely Legal, Moho, Fletch, Turbo, Moby Dick, Cowbell, Maverick, Tarheel, Akbar

    14 strong at the Gipper on a chilly morn in the gloom. Actually, it felt more like 24 degrees after a few days near 80. What a great morning for a block party!

    WU SSH IC x 15

    Torso Twist, Self-Love, Grass Grabbers, Butt Kicks IC x 10

    Thang

    7 block exercises, complete 10 reps, .2m run to Beck and Call and back

    Rinse and repeat, adding 1 rep per exercise for each round

    Manmakers

    Block Curls

    Block Squat

    Bicycle Block Press

    Kettle Block Swing

    Triceps Block extensions

    WW1 Situps

    My count had Turbo in the lead with 17, all in all a brutal beatdown where most finished 5-7 rounds. Might need Bean to check my math, but that’s 531 to 756 reps per man in a 35 minute time span.

    Mary IC x 12

    Hello Dolly, Heels to Heaven, Hands to Heals, Flutter Kicks, Leg Raises, LBC, Crunchy Frogs for Cowbell

    Count, Name-o-rama, quick shout out to the Unitards RCR win

    QIC prayed us out

    Well done guys, thanks for letting me lead

    SYITG – Akbar

    Naked Man Moleskin

    It was great to have Bruno back with us again, and T-Claps for him coming out every time he’s in town – even if BBQ makes him

    Great to have Moho back as well after learning last week that us old guys should probably not sprint, at least until we stretch for 15 minutes.

    It’s always a crapshoot when picking out blocks at the Gipper, could get a 28 or 35 pounder. But those blocks were definitely waterlogged today!

    As Cowbell noted on GroupMe – it did feel good to have the blocks out after all that running in Feb.

  • Boom-Shaka-Laka! And Then There Was Chainsaw! – from The Hammer

    As YHC has/am learning, a large part of being a parent is nothing more than a glorified chauffeur/ATM. If you are Pickaxe’s dad, you can add scribe into the mix. An excuse to get in my cave and crack some AC/DC while I write. So all good!

    Pickaxe has been itching to Q again since his initial Q the day after Christmas. With a dearth of Northshore PAX donating their talent to the Lakefront beatdown, no better time than the present. So off we go…

    Warm-o-Rama

    Windmills
    Waybacks (Toe Touches w/ extra stretch at end)
    IW
    SSH

    This 9 year old drill sergeant made us bear crawl towards Noah’s Ark. Along the way, he planted several Easter Eggs with exercises or candy in them. As we approached them, he had members of the PAX open and read them. On our journey to the Ark, we did:

    Jump Squats x 15
    8 count Bodybuilders x 10
    Luigis x 10 (This is a PIckaxe original spawned from a Mario video game wherein a short, fat Italian plumber falls down, does some movement only possible through coding, and arrives in an erect posture. In practice, it must be modified from its video precision, and basically looks like a burpee where you turn over on your back before you jump up.)

    For the second half of our journey to Noah’s, we karaoked. Once at the Ark, our leader had us partner up for the following:

    Burpees x 120
    Freak Nasties x 240
    Crunchy Frogs x 360 (We missed you, Cowbell!)

    Cumulative, done by one while the other partner ran around the Ark.
    As an aside, the human body is not designed to do 360 Crunchy Frogs. Just an aside.

    On the mosey back, Pickaxe saved the most brutal Easter Egg for last. Another Pickaxe original that he made up one night as his father begged him not to! Boom-Shaka-Lakas! What is that you ask? It is a “different” kind of cadence exercise. While Pickaxe said “Boom-Shaka-Laka, Shaka-Laka, Shaka-Laka, Shaka-Laka, Boom…”

    Now, we started doing Merkins, then when he said Boom, we turned over into a crab-walk like position to do what can only be described as elevated Wife Pleasers (Hip Thrusters according to Pickaxe ;). Nonstop. 20 of them. There was almost Mutiny on the Bounty. Had our Q been old enough to see a PG-13 movie, there almost certainly would have been! However, his leadership and willingess to push all us old dudes is actually inspiring (if YHC does say so himself.)

    Back at the flag, we did some Mary, ran to the Gazebo and back, Name-o-Rama, COT. We had one FNG, Pickaxe’s younger brother, who happened to turn 7 on this day. He wanted to come out to F3 to support Pickaxe. His older brother gave him a ridiculously awesome name that he made his dad call him the rest of the day.

    As Pickaxe shared, his brother once cut his foot on a chainsaw…so welcome, Chainsaw! It was a special day for both Pickaxe and Chainsaw. Shooter bequeathed the Freedom Hammer to Pickaxe’s care for the time being, and the PAX sang Chainsaw Happy Birthday. Be it known that later that day, Chainsaw and his friends “played F3”, with Chainsaw as Q.

    Thank you to all for allowing yourselves to be led by a 9 year old, and for making a 7 year old’s birthday so special. Their dad just might be proud of them.

  • Testing a Post – from Bad Moon

    Testing a post

  • Curls for the Girls! – from BBQ

    The weather was cold and rainy but that did not stop 10 sturdy and strong NS F3 men from rising to the challenge. The beat down moved under the trailhead shelter and went heavy on coupons. The warm up exercises were side straddle hops, torso twists, self love, wind mills, arm circles with little balls and biggest balls, grass grabbers, mountain climbers, inverted mountain climbers, plank jacks, merkins and shoulder rolls. YHC had some struggles with cadence and count but I think I am making some progress! Coupons were used for 4 rounds of 11 exercises. 3 types of curls, overhead lifts, rows, kettle bell swings, squats, Al Gore meets George Thoroughgood, LBC’s, leg raises and flutter kicks. Shooter will be sad to miss this beat down. Curls should continue to be a focus to be ready for the girls at the joint NS F3 and FIA workout on 2-25! We did one round of tricep curls at the end to keep arms from becoming too bicep heavy. Mobydick inspirationally prayed us out.

  • Intensify to Modify: Pickaxe’s First Q

    It was a frigid morning along the lakefront the 2nd day of Christmas. While 9 year old Pickaxe, in his, ahem, first Q of his young F3 career, did not give a Tujague’s recipe for the crawfish caught in Arabi (Uptown Chalmette if you’re from Da Parish), he did come bearing gifts, 12 in fact. However, these were ones we COULD wait to open, as each contained 2 various and sundry exercises for the PAX, one on the foray out, one on the way back.

    Prethang:

    Pickaxe and his dad, The Hammer, forsook the traditional 2 mile pre-thang in order to lay the 12 gifts with great care along the 1/2 mile path to the beach. The 12 packages came in different colors: red, silver, and gold. This would be important, as Pickaxe instructed the color of each package determined the number of repetitions for the exercised contained therein, as well as the mode of transportation to the next box. The directive was as follows:

    Gold: 10 reps/each exercise, Karaoke to next box

    Red: 20 reps/each exercise, sprint to next box

    Silver: 30 reps/each exercise, bear crawl to next box.

    Full Disclosure: When assisting Pickaxe with laying out the gifts, The Hammer was only thinking of the challenges on the way out. As such, the way out brought a long (read: 200 yard) sprint followed by a short bear crawl. On the way back, however, that meant a 200 yard bear crawl. As Pickaxe would say, “Intensify to Modify”.

    Each member of the PAX would take turns opening the gifts, then calling out the exercise they “unwrapped”, there being 24 in total, covering upper body, lower body, and core. A particularly tough gauntlet was a series of 30 8 count bodybuilders, with a bear crawl leading to 20 burpees, followed by a long sprint. Pickaxe insisted the exercises were blindly placed in each box so that he knew not the order, nor the quantity. This series caused some to question the 9 year old. Intensify to modify.

    When the PAX returned to the flag, we circled up for Mary, finishing up with Hello Dollies, Freddy Mercuries, 100s, and a Mission Impossible plank (SIDENOTE: The series/movies should be named Mission Improbable, not Impossible. Think about it. If true, it would’ve been a single episode series, and the ending would not have been a happy one.)

    COT, then Russo prayed us out. Pickaxe is grateful to have had the opportunity to lead, and his dad is grateful to befriend a group of men that would give him the opportunity to do so. Merry Christmas, God Bless, and SYITG!